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John McClane: The Biggest Movie Badass of All Time

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T

Triumph

Banned
It's true, it's damn true.

Just got done watching Die Hard for the first time in like five years. HOT DAMN!!! John McClane wipes the floor with all other movie badasses. Without shoes, no less!

Seriously, is there another badass cop/hero that can touch him? Please, keep that pretender to the throne Jack Bauer out of this thread. I want valid comparisons like Scharzenegger in Commando or maybe King Kong. Shit, maybe even Jesus.

Who can stand up to John McClane?
 
M

Mason

Member
Can we please stop with the John McClane vs. Jack Bauer threads? I know that's what you're going for.

They're both equally badass.
 
ManaByte

ManaByte

Gold Member
Rambo vs. McClane. Rambo wins via napalm.

The Governator (Predator) vs. McClane. Arnie wins with tarzan-style jungle trap.

The Governator (Terminator 2) vs. McClane. Arnie wins with a one-handed shotgun blast.

The Governator (Conan: The Non-Sucky One) vs. McClane. Conan wins by crushing his enemy (McClane) and seeing him driven before him.

Van Damme vs. McClane. McClane wins because Van Damme was high on crack.
 
T

Triumph

Banned
You people are all high on crack. You know that you can be locked up for killing a judge if you get high on crack, right? I'm just asking.

McClane will whip the everliving dogshit out of anyone. I love it when he's beating the shit out of Karl(the blonde German dude in DH), kicking his ass up the stairs yelling: "I'll fuckin kill you! Then I'll cook you and eat you!"

Yippie kay ai motherfucker, indeed.
 
F

-Fightnfire-

Member
John Wayne hands down

Followed by a distant secondplace Clint Eastwood

Rambo, Chuck Norris, A-Nuld and Mclane all recieve votes to round out the top 5 or 6

Can't forget Gibson in Lethal weapon's
 
V

Vennt

Unconfirmed Member
Damn it, how the fuck did you become my favorite poster eh?

Go figure ;)

But Hell YEAH, John McClane, He's the Man!

Freeburn.
 
Malakhov

Malakhov

Banned
ddaylewis.gif
 
Blackace

Blackace

if you see me in a fight with a bear, don't help me fool, help the bear!
While John McClane does own... Nobody lays down the ownage like Tequila from Hard-Boiled.. Chow Yun Fat... the man... just give him two straps and watch him work
 
T

Triumph

Banned
Didn't John Wayne have like sixty pounds of compacted feces in his colon at the time of autopsy? The Duke indeed. I doubt McClane would ever let his own shit do him in.

But Malakhov raises an interesting point. My OTHER favorite movie badass of all time is none other than Daniel Day Lewis' Bill the Butcher. I threw popcorn at the screen when
Retardo Decrappio's whiny little manchild did the Butcher in at the end... no, not because I hate the Irish, but because Decrappio is NOT likable in movies, and the Butcher is one of the greatest anti-heroes of all time.
 
P

Pattergen

Member
Hey, the butcher rules. Yes, this is true... but let me ask you one question... Did he utter the words:

WELCOME TO THE PARTY PAL!

and

A HUNDRED MILLION TERRORISTS IN THE WORLD AND I GOTTA KILL ONE WITH FEET SMALLER THAN MY SISTER!

Thanks for playing. Thread still stands.
 
Brian Fellows

Brian Fellows

Pete Carroll Owns Me
John McClane needs to go back in time and take on AL Swearengen from Deadwood. Now those two could have some memorable coverstations those two could have........Right before Al offed him!



"If I bleat when I speak it's because I just got fuckin' fleeced. "

"Get a haircut you look like you're mother fucked a monkey!"
 
M

MASB

Member
Raoul Duke said:
Didn't John Wayne have like sixty pounds of compacted feces in his colon at the time of autopsy? The Duke indeed. I doubt McClane would ever let his own shit do him in.
Click to expand...
Whew! Is that true? Though I'd guess having cancer is probably what was most responsible for his death.
 
stonedwal

stonedwal

Member
The Bookerman said:
http://www.s-gimvic.lj.edus.si/projekti/timko/igralci/Eastwood_c4.jpg

Here ya go: Bad to the bone.
Click to expand...

IAWTP, but McClane ranks up there pretty highly. Mind you, I've never seen Die Hard 2, and only watched the first half hour of Die Hard with a Vengeance.
 
V

Vennt

Unconfirmed Member
But you miss McClane's greatness, with both the John Wayne & Col. John Matrix. - Both are one-dimensional meatlumps in comparison :D

It's not just the brawn, it's the wit also.

Yippy kai aiiiii!

Freeburn.
 
P

Prospero

Member
Raoul Duke said:
My OTHER favorite movie badass of all time is none other than Daniel Day Lewis' Bill the Butcher
Click to expand...

I will never understand why Scorsese didn't make a movie about the gang war between Bill the Butcher and Liam Neeson's Priest Vallon (which is summed up in the first ten minutes), instead of the film that he made, which inexplicably has Leonardo DiCaprio stumbling around in it.

Imagine that the first ten minutes of Gangs of New York is the last ten minutes of an even better movie, which has had two hours and ten minutes of Bill the Butcher and Priest Vallon kicking ass beforehand. Why on earth doesn't that film exist?
 
A

AssMan

Banned
Best facking quote ever:

"Why do you keep calling me Jesus? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?"-Zues

"That's your name right? Isn't that what he called you?"--Mclane

"He said Hey, ZUES!"--Zues

"Zues?"--Mclane

"Yes, Zues! You know, father of Apollo, Mt. Olympus. Don't fack with me or i'll shove lightning bolts up your ass!"--Zues
 
E

evil ways

Member
Project Midway said:
Pfft...

Col. John Matrix could eat two McLanes for breakfast. While carrying Alyssa Milano on his shoulder.

cmndo126.jpg
cmndo93.jpg


cmndo74.jpg
cmndo116.jpg
Click to expand...

Funny enough, is that Die Hard actually started out as the sequel to Commando(Commando II), but Arnold did not commit to it and the script was modified to fit Bruce Willis's everyday guy look and attitude.
 
W

Warm Machine

Member
Joe Hallenbeck from Last Boy Scout

Alley Thug: Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing personal.
Joe Hallenbeck: That's what you think. Last night I fucked your wife.
Alley Thug: Oh you did, hah? How'd you know it was my wife?
Joe Hallenbeck: She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherfucker with a hat.
Alley Thug: Oh, you're real cool but you've got to take a bullet.
Joe Hallenbeck: After fucking your wife I'll take two.

Thug: Alright, you want it in the chest, or the head?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, that's what your wife said.
Thug: Hey man, stop with the wife shit.
Joe Hallenbeck: Ask me how fat she is. Ask me.
Thug: How fat is she?
Joe Hallenbeck: She's so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. If you wanna fuck her you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in. She's so fat, her high school picture was an aerial shot.

Jimmy: Okay, what would Joe do at a time like this? He'd kill everybody and smoke some cigarettes.
 
Y

yoshifumi

Banned
col. matrix is the baddest ass of the badass. he would eat john mclane, and then some green berets for breakfast. and he's VERY HUNGRY.
 
Y

yoshifumi

Banned
also, even though he's not a really famous character or anything, robert deniro's neil mccauley in heat was a pretty huge badass. i mean, he and val kilmer pretty much wiped out the lapd in that shootout.

not only that, but his last words are "told you i ain't never going back" (referring to prison), and the al pacino is so moved by his badassitude he sits there and holds his hand as he dies.
 
D

DarienA

The black man everyone at Activision can agree on
One year your James a non-English speaking thief in Die Hard to the next year being.... VIGO! But your best role you didn't even speak... cause you were a brain-fried boxer in DIGGSTOWN. hehheh
 
N

NLB2

Banned
These are the two greatest action characters of all time.
Sanjuro Kuwabatake -Toshiro Mifune - Yojimbo and Sanjuro
Terry Tsurugi - Sonny Chiba - The Streetfighter series
 
S

Shinobi

Member
Blackace said:
While John McClane does own... Nobody lays down the ownage like Tequila from Hard-Boiled.. Chow Yun Fat... the man... just give him two straps and watch him work
Click to expand...

Hehe, hard to argue...30 straight minutes of bullets with innocents all over the hospital. Just sick stuff.

Still, McClane owns...took out terrorists in a high rise by himself, slicing his feet up with glass, used some C4 and ripped up shit. Also took down a Boeing 747 with nothing but a lighter. And the biggest proof of all that he might be the biggest bad ass on earth was wearing a "I hate Niggas" bread board sign in the middle of Harlem for ten minutes, and surviving. You try doing that.

Other bad asses include The Man with No Name, Dirty Harry, Batman in Mask of the Phantasm (had the entire Gotham Police Force on his ass and he still escaped), and Alonzo Harris in Training Day (no disgrace to go down to the Russian mob...nobody could escape those motherfuckers).
 
H

Hournda

Member
Nerevar said:
+1

He was the fucking man with no name. How much more badass can you get - you're too badass for a fucking name!
Click to expand...

Nah, Clint Eastwood was a pussy in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Angel Eyes (Lee Van Cleef) would kick his ass if it wasn't in the script that he has to get killed. Tuco (Eli Wallach) is a much craftier fellow as well.
 
D

Dekajelly

Member
Warm Machine said:
Joe Hallenbeck from Last Boy Scout

Alley Thug: Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing personal.
Joe Hallenbeck: That's what you think. Last night I fucked your wife.
Alley Thug: Oh you did, hah? How'd you know it was my wife?
Joe Hallenbeck: She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherfucker with a hat.
Alley Thug: Oh, you're real cool but you've got to take a bullet.
Joe Hallenbeck: After fucking your wife I'll take two.

Thug: Alright, you want it in the chest, or the head?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, that's what your wife said.
Thug: Hey man, stop with the wife shit.
Joe Hallenbeck: Ask me how fat she is. Ask me.
Thug: How fat is she?
Joe Hallenbeck: She's so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. If you wanna fuck her you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in. She's so fat, her high school picture was an aerial shot.
Click to expand...


This bit always makes me laugh when I watch this film... and Badja Djola's (thug) laugh makes it even funnier.
rofl5.gif
 
V

VistraNorrez

Member
Hournda said:
Nah, Clint Eastwood was a pussy in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. Angel Eyes (Lee Van Cleef) would kick his ass if it wasn't in the script that he has to get killed. Tuco (Eli Wallach) is a much craftier fellow as well.
Click to expand...

Have you even seen the movie? Clint was definitely the most badass in it. He survived the desert for godsakes (and much longer than Tuco). Angel Eyes was the pussy, running away when his gang was being decimated by the other two and having a henchman deal with Tuco. Clint never ran when he could fight. Besides GBU takes place before the other Dollars movies. He's much more grizzled in those two.

Tuco's still the coolest though, but he is not any craftier than Blondie. They both foul up a lot.
 
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