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heavy liquid · Jun 24, 2004

WTF?

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&e=1&u=/nm/odd_judge_dc

"On one occasion, Ms. (Lisa) Foster (Thompson's court reporter for 15 years), saw Judge Thompson holding his penis up and shaving underneath it with a disposable razor while on the bench," the petition reads.

Several witnesses, including jurors in Thompson's court and police officers called to testify in trials, said in the petition they heard the "swooshing" sound of a penis pump during trials and saw the judge slumped in his chair, with his elbows on his knees, working the device. The witnesses said the pump sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up.

Ninja Scooter · Jun 24, 2004

that judge is fucking incredible.

elitehebrew · Jun 24, 2004

fap fap fap

*whats that noise?!?!?*

heavy liquid · Jun 24, 2004

Noise? There's no noise! It's your imagination...

*fapfapfap*

Ecrofirt · Jun 24, 2004

That sounds like a really far-fetched story.

CrisKre · Jun 24, 2004

So this calls for the question: Have YOU ever masturbated in 'particular'situations?

SyNapSe · Jun 24, 2004

omg shaving underneath!?

Deleted member 1235 · Jun 24, 2004

CrisKre said:
So this calls for the question: Have YOU ever masturbated in 'particular'situations?

What? Like driving a car?

Nope.

Prince of Space · Jun 24, 2004

"Objection, your honor!"

"OOOOOhhhverruled...!"

bjork · Jun 24, 2004

I really hope they mean he was shaving his sack or something... never heard of a guy shaving his member...

CrisKre · Jun 24, 2004

I did at the opera.

Oh, its coming back, and at the movies also

Ecrofirt · Jun 24, 2004

CrisKre said:
I did at the opera.

Oh, its coming back, and at the movies also

In the words of my favorite Far Side comic:
"You're sick Jessie. Sick, sick, sick."

Willco · Jun 24, 2004

JUSTICE IS BLIND. AND MASTURBATING.

RiZ III · Jun 24, 2004

Thats hilarious. Mustve been getting off to pictures of dead naked bodies.

Bishman · Jun 24, 2004

This has to be the crazy thing I've ever heard. rofl

skip · Jun 24, 2004

"So that's why they say justice is blind!"

"The defendant sure got the shaft!"

"All rise!"

Brannon · Jun 24, 2004

JUSTICE IS BLIND, AND MASTURBATING.

Eh, I thought it looked funnier that way.

Chopin Trusty Balls · Jun 24, 2004

Judge shaving his balls in the court room,not even most twisted comeday director could imagine such wicked image

sc0la · Jun 24, 2004

I wonder if he uses his gavel hand?

"I hold me, in contempt of court!"

Acrylamid · Jun 24, 2004

According to the petition, Thompson admitted he had a penis pump under the bench during a murder trial but he told investigators it was a gag gift from a friend.

....
Quartermaster Clerk: One Swedish-made penis enlarger.
Austin Powers: [to Vanessa] That's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine.
Quartermaster Clerk: One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers.
Austin Powers: I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby.
Quartermaster Clerk: One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers.

Justin Bailey · Jun 24, 2004

http://thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html

Here Comes The Judge
State: Bounce Oklahoma jurist for "pumping it up" on bench

JUNE 24--While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes). Visitors to Thompson's Creek County courtroom reported hearing a "swooshing" sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said "sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up." Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped himself up during an August 2003 murder trial. The AG's petition quotes Thompson (pictured above) as admitting that the pump was "under the bench" during the murder case (and at other times), but he denied using the item, which was supposedly a "gag gift from a friend." (9 pages)

KingGondo · Jun 24, 2004

Go OKLAHOMA!!! WHOOOOOO!

*hangs head in shame*

MrAngryFace · Jun 24, 2004

This happened in france a few months ago, the judge was actually pleasuring himself tho, not shaving.

sc0la · Jun 24, 2004

lol at headline "here comes the judge"

Pimpwerx · Jun 24, 2004

W T F ???

You can't make shit like this up. No one would believe you. That's probably the only thing that could ever save this guy, the fact that this story sounds too crazy to be true. That's one of those what was he thinking moments. PEACE.

Phoenix · Jun 25, 2004

KingGondo said:
Go OKLAHOMA!!! WHOOOOOO!

*hangs head in shame*

Oklahoma has been on a roll lately. Trying to drum up some tourism?

yoshifumi · Jun 25, 2004

one of my history teachers in high school was talking about running for judge, and we asked why, and his reply was: "have you seen those robes?! i could be naked under there and you'd NEVER KNOW."

he was a fun guy.

Felidae_Khrall · Jun 25, 2004

scola said:
I wonder if he uses his gavel hand?

"I hold me, in contempt of court!"

Don't you mean Cumtempt?

belgurdo · Jun 25, 2004

Prince of Space said:
"Objection, your honor!"

"OOOOOhhhverruled...!"

I still can't stop laughing over this...

KingGondo · Jun 25, 2004

Phoenix said:
Oklahoma has been on a roll lately. Trying to drum up some tourism?

We've actually got a full slate of events planned: a couple OU basketball players are due for arrest, a cock-fighting police stand-off will end in five redneck deaths, and our governor will be caught in a gay orgy with other state representatives during the mid-day lunch break.

Biff Hardbody · Jun 25, 2004

Prince of Space said:
"Objection, your honor!"

"OOOOOhhhverruled...!"

holy shit :lol

Bruce Vilanch · Jun 25, 2004

Where the hell is his other hand?

neptunes · Jun 25, 2004

lol at headline "here comes the judge"

LOL

aoi tsuki · Jun 25, 2004

Note to self: Never look up "masturbating bear " in Google image search.

If you watch enough Conan, you probably know where i was going with that one.

sc0la · Jun 25, 2004

aoi tsuki said:
Note to self: Never look up "masturbating bear " in Google image search.

If you watch enough Conan, you probably know where i was going with that one.

I know where you were going... but I don't want to know where you went.

Ferrio · Jun 25, 2004

aoi tsuki said:
Note to self: Never look up "masturbating bear " in Google image search.

If you watch enough Conan, you probably know where i was going with that one.

HAHAHAAHAHAH

JoshuaJSlone · Jun 25, 2004

Ninja Scooter said:
that judge is fucking incredible.

And he chooses strange times to pleasure himself, too.

Wolfy · Jun 25, 2004

EDIT:
Ok, it's nice you got a poster. Next time try not filling my monitor with it randomly in a thread.

Red Dolphin · Jun 25, 2004

Only in America...

demon · Jun 25, 2004

lol that fudge jucked himsfel in cour.

Spiritreaver · Jun 25, 2004

And to think I was born and raised in Oklahoma. Meh!

Teknopathetic · Jun 25, 2004

Looks like more than the defendant got off.

EdLuva · Jun 25, 2004

HAHAHA!

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