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Jury duty
- Thread starter Cunth
- Start date
nush
Gold Member
Just get out of it by telling them you're a racist. You're an aussie, so it's probably true anyway.
DKehoe
Gold Member
I’ve had to go along about four times now and never been picked. The last three years, almost to the exact same day in November, I’ve had to go along for it.
I dunno how it is where you are but here they invite way more people than they need so you’re more likely to not get picked than to be picked. It’s a pretty dull process waiting around to find out if you have been picked or not so take a book.
I dunno how it is where you are but here they invite way more people than they need so you’re more likely to not get picked than to be picked. It’s a pretty dull process waiting around to find out if you have been picked or not so take a book.
Prison Mike
Banned
Just turn up 1st day when they pick the jury with ya little tally whacker poking out your jeans. Problem averted
West Texas CEO
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
And more problems created.
MudoSkills
Volcano High Alumnus (Cum Laude)
19 weeks, must be a hell of a case.
Like nush said, admitting to being a racist will get you kicked.
Like nush said, admitting to being a racist will get you kicked.
West Texas CEO
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
Let me share one of my jury duty experiences..
I was on a wacky case. A man and woman were driving to a motel so they could engage in carnal relations. They couldn't wait, so pulled into a parking lot at a 7-11 and went at it. The clerk called the police, and when they came both the man and woman appeared very drunk. Because there were no bottles in the car, it was obvious that they had driven while drunk.
The man took a breath test and failed, but once at the station, the woman claimed that she had been driving. At that point, several hours later, she passed a breath test.
One funny aspect was that the woman came dressed like a Victorian school teacher, in order to show she was not the drunken slut the case was portraying her as. Unfortunately, the jury all felt the case could not be made against them given the evidence, even though it was pretty obvious that they were driving drunk.
The jury experience was irritating. One woman kept saying how the man was sneezing when questioned, and so probably had allergies, and that allergy medicine can make you appear drunk even when you aren't. We kept having to explain that the fact he was drunk was not a point of contention - he failed the breath test and admitted to drinking. But she kept coming back to it, like she was thought she was Sherlock Holmes or something with her keen inferences. Most of the people couldn't make a logical argument to save their life.
The defense lawyer did all these things during the selection to, I guess, hypnotize us into thinking the defendant was innocent. He asked each person to say, "I presume the defendant is innocent" as if hearing that over and over would implant that into our brains.
I was on a wacky case. A man and woman were driving to a motel so they could engage in carnal relations. They couldn't wait, so pulled into a parking lot at a 7-11 and went at it. The clerk called the police, and when they came both the man and woman appeared very drunk. Because there were no bottles in the car, it was obvious that they had driven while drunk.
The man took a breath test and failed, but once at the station, the woman claimed that she had been driving. At that point, several hours later, she passed a breath test.
One funny aspect was that the woman came dressed like a Victorian school teacher, in order to show she was not the drunken slut the case was portraying her as. Unfortunately, the jury all felt the case could not be made against them given the evidence, even though it was pretty obvious that they were driving drunk.
The jury experience was irritating. One woman kept saying how the man was sneezing when questioned, and so probably had allergies, and that allergy medicine can make you appear drunk even when you aren't. We kept having to explain that the fact he was drunk was not a point of contention - he failed the breath test and admitted to drinking. But she kept coming back to it, like she was thought she was Sherlock Holmes or something with her keen inferences. Most of the people couldn't make a logical argument to save their life.
The defense lawyer did all these things during the selection to, I guess, hypnotize us into thinking the defendant was innocent. He asked each person to say, "I presume the defendant is innocent" as if hearing that over and over would implant that into our brains.
Mistershine.
Banned
Make sure you eat some spicy food the day before and then just shit your pants first thing. Job done.
nush
Gold Member
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
I've been selected on call for the past few years. One advantage of living in a low population, low crime area is that they never call you in.
diffusionx
Gold Member
I have no idea how it works in literal kangaroo courts, but I went and sat in a room for 6 hours then they told me to go home.
Prison Mike
Banned
Dee Dah Dave
Member
If you don’t want to do it then just put on the form you are going through a bit of depression or anxiety. Anything mental health related and they will exempt you without hesitation.
FreedomOfSpeech
Banned
Easy:
synchronicity
Member
I had to sit on a rape and kidnapping case once. It was interesting, but I hope I don't get called again.
V4skunk
Banned
Sweden is lost. Will fall to Islam and communism.
Your country used to be considered the greatest place to live on the planet. Not so much any more.......
M1chl
Currently Gif and Meme Champion
That's amazin'
ManaByte
Gold Member
That doesn't work anymore. People used to try the Homer Simpson thing by saying they were prejudice against all races, but that now just gets you mandatory sensitivity training on top of jury duty.
and 3 others
Banned
I was called in a few years ago. The lady was questioning all of us (potential jurors) but her theatrics and over the top questioning when aimed at me made me chuckle, and I was quickly dismissed. I really didn't want to be dismissed, I wanted to hear someones dirt and judge them.
ManaByte
Gold Member
Nah I didn't want to be on a jury. I was once almost seated for this case about some child molester who was trying to get released early and in the questioning by the judge of potential jurors I looked at the guy and asked why we couldn't just put an electric chair in here and get it over with.
Elektro Demon
Banned
Take a dump in front of the court porch. That'll be enough to get rid of jury duty.
Taxexemption
Member
I've gone a few times, was only selected once to be on a jury. It was a boring dispute about a car company's warranty and whether or not a certain item was covered under it. Basically 5 years after buying the car, right after the warranty expired, they wanted to return it because they had come to understand something was wrong with it. The car company brought an expert in to testify that actually, the car was designed to do the specific thing they were complaining about. The trial took 3 days. It was an interesting experience.
I will take jury duty if I can get it. Yeah it's boring but so is work, and you learn stuff. It's an interesting experience that makes one of your weeks slightly more interesting.
I will take jury duty if I can get it. Yeah it's boring but so is work, and you learn stuff. It's an interesting experience that makes one of your weeks slightly more interesting.
Aggressive Carrot
Member
I got a few jury duty letters. Into the trash they go. If they were going to fine me for not going it would have happened by now.
Sorcerer
Member
I don't understand why the Judge can't handle the process. Things would move along much faster. The Judge understands the law inside and out. He also is making $200,000 a year and he is there all day everyday. It seems like such a burden to choose twelve people, and then go through the hassle of babying them because their understanding of the law is limited in scope compared to judges and lawyers.
Next time I have to go in for Jury duty, I should bring this up, should get me kicked out (but not sent home unfortunately).
Next time I have to go in for Jury duty, I should bring this up, should get me kicked out (but not sent home unfortunately).
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HellforLeather
Member
19 weeks? Why dont you just give the guy the Booting and get it over with?
Taxexemption
Member
You can ask for a judge to decide the case. I'm no lawyer so I don't know all of the details but people do ask judges to decide cases based on the law and a summary of events.
The whole jury thing is a matter of fairness and legitamacy.
Edit: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summary_judgment
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notseqi
Member
S
SLoWMoTIoN
Unconfirmed Member
Been to jd 5 times. I usually bring a book,manga or portable when they are picking people out. So I never get picked 
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zeorhymer
Member
Na. That's the nature of the jury selection. Attorneys have no incentive to get a fair juror and need to stack the deck in their favor. I remember being drilled on by both sides about circumstantial evidence etc etc. Also, the defense lawyer has to stay that because presumption of innocence often gets forgotten. Sometimes they get jurors give the guilty look at a guy who is dressed like a thug or what have you.
Aggressive Carrot
Member
Jury duty is a waste of time, like getting an HIV test. Roll the dice scaredy cats!
SuperBabyMethod
Member
Yes, I served as a juror for a case 2 summers ago. I went Monday - Friday for about 2 weeks. The case was quite interesting and it was cool to see how the court system worked. The food we got was also pretty good.
If you want to avoid being selected, just say something that makes you look like a bad candidate (you distrust cops in a case on poultice brutality, for example).
If you want to avoid being selected, just say something that makes you look like a bad candidate (you distrust cops in a case on poultice brutality, for example).
ManaByte
Gold Member
Hari Seldon
Member
Was a juror on a double murder trial. It was only like 6 days and the days were short, like 5-6 hours. The judge was squeezing cases in before and after us. It was an interesting experience, but 19 weeks is fucked.
Mistake
Member
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The Wheel of Fortune
Member
Just tell them you post on GAF and they'll send you right back home in an instant.
BadBurger
Many “Whelps”! Handle It!
When they're doing jury selection think of any reason you can to disqualify yourself given the case, plaintiff, and or defendant. The only time I had jury duty I was able to get off. It was a medical malpractice lawsuit. I happened to be doing contract work for the healthcare network the doctor practiced at. I was gone quick.
Cunth
Fingerlickin' Good!
So i went to this shit today. Sat in a room for 2 hours watching youtube on my phone and then a guy comes out and says that the judge said the trial isnt going ahead this week so we are free to go. Then when I was leaving they asked me 'do you wish to serve on the jury when the trial begins next week?' and i was like, hells naw LOL
West Texas CEO
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
FTFY
