Excess Poo Flakes
Banned
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Jury duty, #$*!
- Thread starter Excess Poo Flakes
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The Take Out Bandit
Member
You can't escape!
I tried when I got the summons, the best I could get was a postponed date thanks to a letter from my human resources director. Yes! I'd like to swap my $16 an hour wage for $10 a day, or whatever the hell it was back in those days.
You apparently have to be a raving lunatic to get kicked out of the jury pool. I tried most everything within reason. I didn't bathe. I signed everything left handed. I wore dirty clothes, and generally presented myself as a derelict. Muttering to myself. Etc. Etc.
That didn't work. After the third day, I just flat out denied any impartiality to the cases I was being selected for. Some dumb bitch burned her mouth mistaking scalding hot water for iced tea. Yeah - That might not be a frivolous lawsuit if I were a dumb cunt. NO! That's some grimey fat American money grubbing right there. First thing's first. You can god damn well tell if something is scalding hot to the touch, particularly when you're expecting a tall cool glass of iced tea.
Blah blah.
There were some more cases they tried sticking me with, but in the end the best I could do was continuously get tossed back into the jury pool and go back to reading books and comics in the waiting room. Fucking sucked. >:|
I tried when I got the summons, the best I could get was a postponed date thanks to a letter from my human resources director. Yes! I'd like to swap my $16 an hour wage for $10 a day, or whatever the hell it was back in those days.
You apparently have to be a raving lunatic to get kicked out of the jury pool. I tried most everything within reason. I didn't bathe. I signed everything left handed. I wore dirty clothes, and generally presented myself as a derelict. Muttering to myself. Etc. Etc.
That didn't work. After the third day, I just flat out denied any impartiality to the cases I was being selected for. Some dumb bitch burned her mouth mistaking scalding hot water for iced tea. Yeah - That might not be a frivolous lawsuit if I were a dumb cunt. NO! That's some grimey fat American money grubbing right there. First thing's first. You can god damn well tell if something is scalding hot to the touch, particularly when you're expecting a tall cool glass of iced tea.
Blah blah.
There were some more cases they tried sticking me with, but in the end the best I could do was continuously get tossed back into the jury pool and go back to reading books and comics in the waiting room. Fucking sucked. >:|
Christoff Yurievich
Member
you also shouldn't try, unless you really need to.
Synth_floyd
Banned
I heard they actually want the idiots to be on the jury since it's easier for the lawyers to change their minds. It's the intelligent, independant thinking people that they don't want because they're better able to see through all the lawyers bullshit and make a critical analysis of the case.
Lemurnator
Banned
If you make your decision clear on how you're going to decide the case before you even hear the testamony you'll be out of the courtroom in no time from what I've heard.
Just act like no matter what, you'll still find him innocent/guilty. Especially if race is involved. :3
Just act like no matter what, you'll still find him innocent/guilty. Especially if race is involved. :3
Christoff Yurievich
Member
that wasn't my point. my point is that you should do the duty. I believe that's why they call it " jury duty" instead of "jury if-you-feel-like-it".xsarien said:
bune duggy said:
The last time I went, the case was one family member suing another because they fell in the latter's home and MAYBE sprained an ankle.
I had better things to do with my time, to be completely honest. I made that opinion at least a little clear to the counsel: That it was a petty case, and that there was no way I could look at it objectively because: 1) I couldn't possibly fathom how such an injury could warrant taking things so far; 2) That these people need therapy more than they need a lawyer.
They let me go.
I also really, really don't think too highly of lawyers. I'd be the one guy in the jury who thinks both are just twisting the evidence to swing one way or the other and hang the damned group. I'd be a miserable juror.
Ugh... Civic cases... those fucking suck. Jury duty for criminal cases isn't nearly as unbearable but it still not fun.
I'm expecting another summons here pretty soon, it's been a while.
Last time I had jury duty I believe they found me to be either 1) unreasonable or 2) bias. I was like #3 on the panel too I believe.
I'm expecting another summons here pretty soon, it's been a while.
Last time I had jury duty I believe they found me to be either 1) unreasonable or 2) bias. I was like #3 on the panel too I believe.
distantmantra
Member
I've been selected for jury duty twice, and both times I got out of it because I was a student. I'd actually like to try it once.
MrAngryFace
Banned
I escaped cause I guess the case was dismissed or something. It happens sorta often sometimes.
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
There's many ways to get out. If you're a full time student + employed, just send them a few papers proving that much and you're done.
If it's a death trial, just say that a close relative of yours was murdered and you want no part of this case (they will not take you if they see you have potential biases).
If it's a death trial, just say that a close relative of yours was murdered and you want no part of this case (they will not take you if they see you have potential biases).
evil solrac v3.0
Member
just defecate and urinate on the bailiff's chair or something, of course in NYC they see this all the time so....... or just say that you hate all brown skinned people. *shrug*
Brian Fellows
Pete Carroll Owns Me
I've got a Blue Pants said:
Thats my birthday.
fennec fox
ferrets ferrets ferrets ferrets FERRETS!!!
Start massaging your nips in the courtroom.
I was the alternate Jury for this car accident case where an elderly Jewish couple were suing this (very pretty) children's book author. The case was so absurd when I first got into that trial, but it was damned funny at the same time. I enjoyed going there everyday for this very reason alone, and I will never forget how the plaintiff owned himself while examining the defense's witness.
Anyway, the elderly couple hit the car in front of them and they blamed her for breaking too suddenly, so technically it was "her fault" that they were so irresponsible. The lawyer they hired was some hack they found out of a cracker box who didn't know left from right, and used sorry smirks and nonsense conclusions to try and persuade the jury. One Japanese guy thought it was so hilarious that he literally burst out laughing in the middle of the court, so the judge dismissed him temporarily so he could take a breath and control himself. We all thought it was pretty worthless being there; the case had no merit whatsoever.
Moving on, though. The true OWN3D moment came when the plaintiff was examining an expert on vehicular forensic science. He continually quoted an article that he read about car accident possibilities, damage studies, and the like. He would say things like, "According to so and so survey done in 1996, damage to the rear end of the vehicle showed no significant damage when... etc etc". He would always quote that study like it was the bible, but the forensic expert interrupted him and said that he was interpreting it wrong. Finally, the lawyer looked back at the forensic expert with his head cocked and a smile and said, "I don't believe you know what you're talking about... are you even familiar with this study... at all?!" To which then the forensic expert looked at him and said, "Yea, I'm familiar with it. I wrote the study." The Japanese guy had to be excused again for excessive laughter shortly thereafter.
Anyway, the elderly couple hit the car in front of them and they blamed her for breaking too suddenly, so technically it was "her fault" that they were so irresponsible. The lawyer they hired was some hack they found out of a cracker box who didn't know left from right, and used sorry smirks and nonsense conclusions to try and persuade the jury. One Japanese guy thought it was so hilarious that he literally burst out laughing in the middle of the court, so the judge dismissed him temporarily so he could take a breath and control himself. We all thought it was pretty worthless being there; the case had no merit whatsoever.
Moving on, though. The true OWN3D moment came when the plaintiff was examining an expert on vehicular forensic science. He continually quoted an article that he read about car accident possibilities, damage studies, and the like. He would say things like, "According to so and so survey done in 1996, damage to the rear end of the vehicle showed no significant damage when... etc etc". He would always quote that study like it was the bible, but the forensic expert interrupted him and said that he was interpreting it wrong. Finally, the lawyer looked back at the forensic expert with his head cocked and a smile and said, "I don't believe you know what you're talking about... are you even familiar with this study... at all?!" To which then the forensic expert looked at him and said, "Yea, I'm familiar with it. I wrote the study." The Japanese guy had to be excused again for excessive laughter shortly thereafter.
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