http://kotaku.com/my-son-has-ruined-zelda-breath-of-the-wild-1797004429
Great article. Made me laugh. Also made me glad I don't have kids.
EDIT:
For all the Gaffers asking "WHY DIDN'T HE MAKE THE KID HIS OWN SAVE PROFILE"
For all the Gaffers asking "WHAT ABOUT JUST USING AUTO SAVES"
In the past couple of months there's been a phrase that haunts me. It reverberates in my dreams and my darkest nightmares. It's the first words I hear when I arrive home from work. It's the first words I hear when being woken up at 5:30am on a still-dark Saturday morning. ”Daddee. DADDEE. Can I play YOUR game."
My game means Zelda: Breath of the Wild. More specifically it means my 140 hour deep play through of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. The one where I had hundreds of arrows, all the powerups and a melange of high powered weaponry.
Key word here: ‘had'.
Friends, my four year old son is single-handedly ruining my Zelda game.
This is how I know my son has been fucking with my Zelda game.
Every. Goddamn. Time.
The Gerudo mask. It's the first thing he changes. It doesn't matter if he's in the desert, the forest or the snow. The conditions don't matter. The boots and the body change, the face remains the same.
Gerudo mask. Every damn time.
”Daddy it makes him look like a Ninja."
My son has literally replaced my Guardian Swords++ with a SOUP LADLE.
A fucking soup ladle people.
My son has learned to navigate Zelda's menu system to the point where he can literally throw away all my good shit in order to pick up every piece of trash he finds. I'm almost impressed.
Do I want my son to stop playing? Do I want to deprive him of this pleasure? Of course not. I love that he's playing Zelda. I love that I'm sharing this video game with him. I love that Breath of the Wild is such a well designed game that both he and I can enjoy it in completely opposite ways.
That's nice.
But losing all of your Guardian arrows in a random Bokoblin fight. Finding a soup ladle where your Guardian Sword used to be?
Yeah, that's less nice.
Don't have kids.
Great article. Made me laugh. Also made me glad I don't have kids.
EDIT:
For all the Gaffers asking "WHY DIDN'T HE MAKE THE KID HIS OWN SAVE PROFILE"
Secondly, why is he playing my game and not his own game? Simple answer: I've got all the cool power-ups and the cool weapons. His chances of actually inching his way through and earning those rewards at four years old are at monkeys writing Shakespeare odds at this point.
For all the Gaffers asking "WHAT ABOUT JUST USING AUTO SAVES"
So here's what my son does: he turns on the game. He doesn't load the most recent save. Oh no. He scrolls through the saves and finds the one with the coolest image — usually a save near Death Mountain with lava and shit ‘cause my son loves lava.
He then proceeds to overwrite the last six saves by jaunting all over the map on his merry way, firing Guardian arrows and accumulating soup ladles.
What does this mean? This means that I will quite regularly lose my last two hours of gameplay and when you're in the process of meticulously making your way through the map looking for shit that is incredibly, incredibly frustrating.