Go get lessons from someone who knows how to play. You'll get better much faster. Jazz/fusion-style lessons are probably the best route to getting really good. There's much more focus on interdependence there than pretty much any other style, so if you can play that stuff, you can play anything. If you have a music (or with any luck a drum-only store) around you, go there.
Learn how to read music (if you can't already). Any good books are going to have notation.
Modern Drummer (magazine) is good if you're interested in reading about practicing technique and such. They also put up a few pieces of their in-mag monthly lessons online
here.
Get Haskell Harr's
Modern Drum Methods 1&2. They're great basic books that are useful even for people that have been playing for years. They might not be exactly what you want, but you need to build from the ground up. Everything in them will apply to kit drumming eventually.
And for God's sake, get a
RealFeel pad and a pair of Vic Firth 5B sticks.
note: I've been drumming for 16 years, and have marched in college drumlines and played with many honors bands. Just to let you know where I'm coming from. I'm not trying to sound snobby with the 'get lessons' bit, people can get good from just playing w/o knowing a lick of musical notation, but people who actually have studied with a teacher have much better technique/skill.