Support NeoGAF

[Papa]

There are some movies that are so bad that when I watch them I think the writer/director are from a different planet. The artsy emotional wank movies that are completely bland and uninteresting but for whatever reason get hyped to hell by critics and media. The best examples off the top of my head are Manchester by the Sea, A Ghost Story, and Moonlight.

Fxck liberal Hollywood and fxck Casey Affleck.

Name some others so I know what to avoid.

 

[Grinchy]

Downsizing comes to mind. They take a fun idea of shrinking people down to overcome the overpopulation issues and turn it into a message about how we are evil white Americans before the halfway mark. I guess the critics didn't love it, but it's a liberal wank movie.

I think of Argo when I think of completely overhyped shitty movies. What is it with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon? You can't escape these fuckers when the subject of shitty liberal wank movies comes up.

 

[Cunth]

Literally all of them

 

[highrider]

Casey Affleck has had so many good movies though. He’s probably the best American actor besides Joaquin that we have. And he’s also responsible for this bit of genius.

 

[Turnt]

Air Bud. A dog being good at basketball is some affirmative action bullshit.

 

[The Lunch Legend]

Space Jam

 

[Papa]

Casey Affleck has had so many good movies though. He’s probably the best American actor besides Joaquin that we have. And he’s also responsible for this bit of genius.

No

Usually yes to most things you say

But in this case just no

 

[Papa]

Air Bud. A dog being good at basketball is some affirmative action bullshit.

Space Jam

Begone, shitposters. This is a serious thread. A thread about Hollywood taking itself too seriously.

 

[Cunth]

The whole Affleck family has zero talent. Ben Affleck directed movies are absolute shit too

 

[Papa]

The whole Affleck family has zero talent. Ben Affleck directed movies are absolute shit too

South Park knew

 

[EviLore]

Knives Out, recently. Beats you over the head with its politics. Every character outright tells the daughter of an immigrant POC protagonist that she’s a good person, instead of showing us through her actions, in order to justify her not being a good person and acting selfishly and spitefully in the end. Thanks, Rian.

 

[Barsinister]

That one where MarkyMark and his movie wife adopt the Hispanic kids.
My wife dragged me to it and it was pretty insufferable. Sorry I don’t remember the name.

 

[nush]

Knives Out, recently. Beats you over the head with its politics. Every character outright tells the daughter of an immigrant POC protagonist that she’s a good person, instead of showing us through her actions, in order to justify her not being a good person and acting selfishly and spitefully in the end. Thanks, Rian.

Worse than that for me. The moment they personify an "Alt Right internet troll" as a rich, blonde haired wannabe Hitler youth member. Then that fireplace talk about immigration that was basically scripted from a Resetera discussion.

Rian knows how to play to his audience.

 

[highrider]

No

Usually yes to most things you say

But in this case just no

Yeah I like Ben and his bro. But I’m not really bothered by political leanings of entertainment people, these are people in an environment where any other view is going to be met with serious problems. I mean, Good Will Hunting, The Assassination of Jesse James, The Town...

 

[Papa]

Yeah I like Ben and his bro. But I’m not really bothered by political leanings of entertainment people, these are people in an environment where any other view is going to be met with serious problems. I mean, Good Will Hunting, The Assassination of Jesse James, The Town...

I prefer Ben. Casey I find pretentious, untalented, unfairly hyped, and wholly irredeemable.

 

[EviLore]

Worse than that for me. The moment they personify an "Alt Right internet troll" as a rich, blonde haired wannabe Hitler youth member. Then that fireplace talk about immigration that was basically scripted from a Resetera discussion.

Rian knows how to play to his audience.

It’s another example of lazy storytelling. There are zero examples of that character acting like an alt-right Nazi in the movie. We’re told that he is, and we can see that he’s a white boy who dresses like a young Republican/conservative, that’s pretty much all there is to go on.

 

[ROMhack]

I think too many films now - particularly American, French and UK indies - are being made for critics. Having good reviews seems to mean more than providing an interesting cinematic experience.

I don't even care about the politics. The problem to me is that they just aren't interesting.

 

[Hoya Destroyer]

I found 12 Years a Slave to be boring and The Last Jedi to be silly.

 

[DKehoe]

It’s another example of lazy storytelling. There are zero examples of that character acting like an alt-right Nazi in the movie. We’re told that he is, and we can see that he’s a white boy who dresses like a young Republican/conservative, that’s pretty much all there is to go on.

It’s been a while since I actually saw the film now so maybe he did something I’m forgetting but I took it to be that the kid wasn’t actually an alt-right Nazi. That he’s just someone that maybe leans right and spends a lot of time online. So the other side of the family just projects him as being that because that’s how people talk these days, extrapolating the views of those you disagree with out to an extreme stereotype.

 

[highrider]

The whole Affleck family has zero talent. Ben Affleck directed movies are absolute shit too

The Town.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Jason Bourne's TV Show Treadstone was missing a lot of action and car chases and felt like the show is playing the long game but I give the people behind the film credit.

 

[DKehoe]

Jason Bourne's TV Show Treadstone was missing a lot of action and car chases and felt like the show is playing the long game but I give the people behind the film credit.

I had no idea this was a thing.

 

[MetalAlien]

Spoiler

 

[Werewolf Jones]

If the family in Us wasn't black it'd be getting shit on hard. Whole film is nonsensical garbage.

 

[Mr Hyde]

Avatar

James Cameron went full PC when he tried his hand at colonialism, oppression of minorities, racism and other hot topics. Addressing these issues in a sensitive way is not something I would fault, but the writing in Avatar is so superficial and heavy handed that it comes off as preachy and disingenuous. Same goes for Cameron's passion for environmentalism, nothing wrong with having a message in the art you display, but don't beat us over the head with it.

I don't hate Avatar, it's a fun spectacle if you take it for what it is, but I can't get away with how shallow it feels and that Cameron couldn't stop sniffing his own farts during the whole production of it. His weakest movie to date.

 

[MrRogers]

Almost the entire output of movies from Hollywood since the mid to late 2000s has been compromised with progressive agendas. In the past few years I have barely watch any new releases. The 80s, 90s and hell, even early 2000s movies I grew up on, simply aren't made anymore. My movie watching has been trending back into the past. Ive been finding lots of gems from the 40s through to 60s.

For contemporary movies I tend to follow names, not trailers or franchises when it comes to anything I watch. If I see the name Mel Gibson, Clint Eastwood, Christopher Nolan, Peter Berg, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise and Mark Wahlberg among others, I can usually expect a movie that isn't drowning with progressive virtue signalling for 2 hours straight. Alas, the names I stay away from, are ever expanding and have more or less destroyed every franchise I ever cared about.

 

[GreyHorace]

Spoiler

WORST MCU MOVIE BY FAR.

I like Kevin Feige and the MCU, but Jesus Christ I don't think I could stand to watch another 2 hour movie with such an unlikable female lead. The other sins the movie commits are turning Nick Fury into a joke and making the Skrulls (once the most feared alien races in the Marvel universe) into a blatant allegory for undocumented immigrants.

Another movie I've only seen a part of but nonetheless despise is 2004's Crash. That movie makes me want to puke with it's blatant progressive messaging on race.

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

I really like Manchester and Moonlight but I agree that Ghost Story was fart wafting pretentious nonsense. too artsy for my taste (I wouldn’t even describe Manchester as artsy, it’s a pretty subtle masterclass in acting and realistic depictions of grief). Just imo. Moonlight definitely a little artsy.

The first movie that came to my mind when I read the title was Captain Marvel. It’s just so boring imo. It’s so forgettable. It doesn’t quite fit the description in the OP (it’s definitely not artsy) but it is what I imagine most consider a liberal wank fest. Painfully average film that made a billy

 

[Sakura Doritos]

Worse than that for me. The moment they personify an "Alt Right internet troll" as a rich, blonde haired wannabe Hitler youth member. Then that fireplace talk about immigration that was basically scripted from a Resetera discussion.

Rian knows how to play to his audience.

Holy shit so many people I know loved it. Glad I’ve been holding off. It sounds super shit now.

 

[Sakura Doritos]

JareBear: Remastered

Captain Marvel looked like a good Grand Theft Auto 5 machinima. The principle photography of the area reminds me of my days in Los Santos.

Driving up the coast etc. the special effects in CM are so terrible and CG you can’t take some moments seriously as a feature film.

It’s plot was ok but nothing special. They went for a twist that you could see coming a mile away.

Yeah it’s a fan film imo. Watchable and wipeable.

 

[GreyHorace]

The first movie that came to my mind when I read the title was Captain Marvel. It’s just so boring imo. It’s so forgettable. It doesn’t quite fit the description in the OP (it’s definitely not artsy) but it is what I imagine most consider a liberal wank fest. Painfully average film that made a billy

Especially compared to the other 'Captain Marvel' film that year.

 

[DeepEnigma]

That one where MarkyMark and his movie wife adopt the Hispanic kids.
My wife dragged me to it and it was pretty insufferable. Sorry I don’t remember the name.

Dora the Explorer?

 

[HarryKS]

Dora the Explorer?

She's in it. Was a decent movie. What's wrong with Hispanic kids?

 

[DeepEnigma]

She's in it. Was a decent movie. What's wrong with Hispanic kids?

Who said anything is wrong with them?

 

[Richard Packer]

The most recent that comes to mind is Joker. That definitely fits under the "The artsy emotional wank movie." Can't believe they ruined the Joker and people ate it up. It's a film about a loser made for losers. Not a fucking Joker film.

 

[JimmyRustler]

Knives Out, recently. Beats you over the head with its politics. Every character outright tells the daughter of an immigrant POC protagonist that she’s a good person, instead of showing us through her actions, in order to justify her not being a good person and acting selfishly and spitefully in the end. Thanks, Rian.

Speaking of politics, you should watch Hostiles and Mary Queen of Scots. Especially the latter. Cringeworthy. Hollywood has completely lost it.

 

[teezzy]

Of what I've seen, I actually enjoyed most of these movies. To be fair though, I have a tendency to be a pseudo-intellectual at times

One movie I really enjoyed that most liberal wanks wouldn't admit to was Louis C.K.'s I Love You, Daddy.

Such a shame that his career went up in flames right before this was formally released anywhere, as it really is a solid Woody Allen homage, and Louie absolutely knows his way around being both in front of and behind the camera.

Both Malkovich and Moretz completely owned each scene they were in. The subject matter of the film really could not have coincided worse with his public defamation, but I'll be damned if this wasn't one of the best films of 2017. Louie was robbed.

 

[Nemesisuuu]

Wes Anderson the thread eh?

 

[Stouffers]

At the time, John Q.

My views have evolved, though.

 

[ScarletSpider]

.

 

[triplestation]

i actually dont care for joker with walking phoenix

his dancing is awkward and and most of the movie tries to make you feel sorry for him

literally the only good scene is the murray Franklin scene

i dont think phoenix is a good actor, to me hes just an already nutty guy with striking features (just like tom hardy) that they give lines to

 

[teezzy]

Joker took a weird misstep in its consistent nods to Taxi Driver and King of Comedy throughout the entire movie. The whole time, all I could think was, "why am I not watching either of those instead?"

 

[Fbh]

I never really understood all the praise for 12 years a slave.
It's like 2 hours of mild torture porn with the ground breaking message that slavery was bad....told in the most straightforward way possible

 

[HarryKS]

Who said anything is wrong with them?

The dude you quoted.

 

[triplestation]

you know whos a criminally underrated actor?

sharlto copley

dude gave a master class performance in a fucken alien movie

 

[DeepEnigma]

The dude you quoted.

Still not seeing what you’re seeing.

 

[triplestation]

Joker took a weird misstep in its consistent nods to Taxi Driver and King of Comedy throughout the entire movie. The whole time, all I could think was, "why am I not watching either of those instead?"

exactly, those movies are way older and still a million times better

you never once in those movies feel like it's trying to swoon you into feeling something (which was pretty much the entirety of joker)

 

[Spaceman292]

you know whos a criminally underrated actor?

sharlto copley

dude gave a master class performance in a fucken alien movie

Not sure how it fits into the thread but I agree with this very much

 

[triplestation]

Not sure how it fits into the thread but I agree with this very much

im just sticking my leg out of the train just a little bit and now we're back on track im glad you agree

 

[Shizumapower]

The new Charlie's Angels. Play the game of how long you can last....

I've been going back to watching older movies and television. So satisfying.

Currently rewatching Bosch. Great series.