Post your limousine stories. Here are a few anecdotes from around the world...
UNITED KINGDOM
Home James!
Lord Montagu of Beaulieu famously told a chauffeur, who gave his name as James, that he always called his servants by their surnames. When it was explained that his surname was Darling, Montagu exclaimed 'Home, James!', which became the title of the world's definitive tome on chauffeurs.
FRANCE
French kiss? Non!
Despite the most explicit film at this year's Cannes, Battle In Heaven, starting with an obese middle-aged chauffeur receiving fellatio, and despite stories one US actress assumed 'les chauffeurs' was the name of a lesbian car business, Cannes chauffeurs have little time for sex. So sought after are their services that a chauffeured limo during the film festival costs just under £2,000 a day - and that's if you can find a driver who's not booked. But stars' secrets are not sacred: a driver told a paper "De Niro is the worst tipper. Faye Dunaway is the worst passenger".
The USA
Limo Uni? Oh, please
Jessie O'Neill, in his book The Golden Ghetto: The Psychology Of Affluence, reported the desperate need for 'fiscal therapists' among the children of American billionaires, who suffer the shocking trauma of not being able to fathom why all their school friends don't have personal chauffeurs. Tom Mazza, meanwhile, is guru to the chauffeuring scene - marketing his 'Ultimate Chauffeur Training Programs', writing for the Limousine Digest, holding courses at his 'Limousine University', and slamming chauffeurs who'd mention to clients it's not their day job.
BELGIUM
Driving Miss Ditsy
One must speak at least two languages fluently, have an HGV permit, five years' experience driving VIPs and a knowledge of European politics before getting on the three-year waiting list to be a chauffeur for the EU. Britain's commissioner, Peter Mandelson, has two chauffeurs on 24-hour standby, but he didn't help out British MEP Liz Lynne, who found one day no 'pool chauffeur' was free to transport her from her Brussels apartment to the Spinelli parliament building. She phoned anxiously to enquire the way to what is the largest office block in the city.
NIGERIA
Keep up appearances
This is a country where hotel receptionists feel obliged to warn guests to beware of kidnappers posing as chauffeurs and where businesswomen, known as 'nans-benz' (Mercedes ladies), are said to employ young chauffeurs as much for gigolo duties as for their driving. Less lewdly, former presidents and members of the judiciary have traditionally been given a chauffeur for life, but recently 'lowly' ex-senators got the privilege too. Apparently, a few of them were - hold the front page - considering driving themselves around.
RUSSIA
Rushing around
When the Soviet Union broke up it was not uncommon to see university professors switching to chauffeuring work and being paid in sacks of potatoes. Since then, despite the government being cash-strapped and the empire shrinking markedly, the number of chauffeur-driven limos for senior state workers has increased by a third. President Putin's chauffeur is known as 'Big Boris'. The average chauffeur earns £435 a month, plus anything he can get moonlighting as a cabbie while not driving VIPs to their dachas.
INDIA
Top-notch job
When 'unkempt bachelor' Abdul Kalam was elected President, some said foreign dignitaries would assume he was just a chauffeur. But chauffeurs then complained bitterly that someone with such long hair as Kalam would never get their job. The Asia Week Salaries Survey claims chauffeurs in India get more money than accountants, field-service engineers, or systems engineers. The most famous in Delhi is Chet Ram, who's told tales of driving visitors like Arafat, Mandela and the Dalai Lama. Not to mention the late Pope John Paul II.
CHINA
Screening techniques
When the British ambassador brought possibly the first car to China and offered it to the Empress, she was so upset by the idea of a servant not kneeling in front of her that she argued her chauffeur would have to do so while driving. Since then luxury in China has been associated with sitting in the back seat, screened off - which is proving tricky for sports car dealers. At this year's Shanghai Auto Show, Rolls-Royce showed its Stretched Phantom, which has 10 inches added in the rear for the Asian market.
UNITED KINGDOM
Home James!
Lord Montagu of Beaulieu famously told a chauffeur, who gave his name as James, that he always called his servants by their surnames. When it was explained that his surname was Darling, Montagu exclaimed 'Home, James!', which became the title of the world's definitive tome on chauffeurs.
FRANCE
French kiss? Non!
Despite the most explicit film at this year's Cannes, Battle In Heaven, starting with an obese middle-aged chauffeur receiving fellatio, and despite stories one US actress assumed 'les chauffeurs' was the name of a lesbian car business, Cannes chauffeurs have little time for sex. So sought after are their services that a chauffeured limo during the film festival costs just under £2,000 a day - and that's if you can find a driver who's not booked. But stars' secrets are not sacred: a driver told a paper "De Niro is the worst tipper. Faye Dunaway is the worst passenger".
The USA
Limo Uni? Oh, please
Jessie O'Neill, in his book The Golden Ghetto: The Psychology Of Affluence, reported the desperate need for 'fiscal therapists' among the children of American billionaires, who suffer the shocking trauma of not being able to fathom why all their school friends don't have personal chauffeurs. Tom Mazza, meanwhile, is guru to the chauffeuring scene - marketing his 'Ultimate Chauffeur Training Programs', writing for the Limousine Digest, holding courses at his 'Limousine University', and slamming chauffeurs who'd mention to clients it's not their day job.
BELGIUM
Driving Miss Ditsy
One must speak at least two languages fluently, have an HGV permit, five years' experience driving VIPs and a knowledge of European politics before getting on the three-year waiting list to be a chauffeur for the EU. Britain's commissioner, Peter Mandelson, has two chauffeurs on 24-hour standby, but he didn't help out British MEP Liz Lynne, who found one day no 'pool chauffeur' was free to transport her from her Brussels apartment to the Spinelli parliament building. She phoned anxiously to enquire the way to what is the largest office block in the city.
NIGERIA
Keep up appearances
This is a country where hotel receptionists feel obliged to warn guests to beware of kidnappers posing as chauffeurs and where businesswomen, known as 'nans-benz' (Mercedes ladies), are said to employ young chauffeurs as much for gigolo duties as for their driving. Less lewdly, former presidents and members of the judiciary have traditionally been given a chauffeur for life, but recently 'lowly' ex-senators got the privilege too. Apparently, a few of them were - hold the front page - considering driving themselves around.
RUSSIA
Rushing around
When the Soviet Union broke up it was not uncommon to see university professors switching to chauffeuring work and being paid in sacks of potatoes. Since then, despite the government being cash-strapped and the empire shrinking markedly, the number of chauffeur-driven limos for senior state workers has increased by a third. President Putin's chauffeur is known as 'Big Boris'. The average chauffeur earns £435 a month, plus anything he can get moonlighting as a cabbie while not driving VIPs to their dachas.
INDIA
Top-notch job
When 'unkempt bachelor' Abdul Kalam was elected President, some said foreign dignitaries would assume he was just a chauffeur. But chauffeurs then complained bitterly that someone with such long hair as Kalam would never get their job. The Asia Week Salaries Survey claims chauffeurs in India get more money than accountants, field-service engineers, or systems engineers. The most famous in Delhi is Chet Ram, who's told tales of driving visitors like Arafat, Mandela and the Dalai Lama. Not to mention the late Pope John Paul II.
CHINA
Screening techniques
When the British ambassador brought possibly the first car to China and offered it to the Empress, she was so upset by the idea of a servant not kneeling in front of her that she argued her chauffeur would have to do so while driving. Since then luxury in China has been associated with sitting in the back seat, screened off - which is proving tricky for sports car dealers. At this year's Shanghai Auto Show, Rolls-Royce showed its Stretched Phantom, which has 10 inches added in the rear for the Asian market.