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[BossLackey]

I sometimes eat microwave burritos for their superior deliciousness-to-effort ratio in that I simply have to place it in a microwave and get a decent tasting item.

However, something that's impossible not to notice when "preparing" these foodstuffs is that the instructions, regardless of brand, invariably call for significantly more time in the microwave than required for a hot burrito.

There are frozen instructions for many, but I'm talking about the "thawed" instructions. If I didn't always cut those times short, we're looking at life-altering mouth injuries without a good 15 minute wait for the burrito to return to mortal-tolerable temperatures. This is the one and only microwavable product I have this issue with, but it's every brand I've tried.

I mean, it's not much of an issue, just a mild inconvenience the first few times before I started cutting the time short.

Shit's weird man.

 

[GeekyDad]

Shit's weird man.

Is it though?

...their superior deliciousness-to-effort ratio...

They're made for lazy-minded people. (No offense intended toward you. Tired-minded, if you like.)

Sounds like these things are marketed for the base humankind. I'm guessing scalding mouth burns won't even wake someone like that up from their mental slumber. But that doesn't sound like the case for you. You seem to understand that if you want the shit to be good (and safe), you got have a modicum of patience and put forth an iota of effort.

 

[ahtlas7]

Seared tastebuds save you from tasting that rancid frozen flavor.

 

[Sakura]

Throw some sour cream on it to cool it off and make it taste better.

 

[SJRB]

The time and age where man needs instructions to prevent them from not putting blazing hot food in his mouth.

 

[Spaceman292]

Who the fuck microwaves a burrito?

 

[GHG]

Just the thread title alone made me want to throw up in my mouth a little. And it gets worse in that these things go straight in the microwave from frozen?

Microwaves are for emergencies and simple food only.

 

[West Texas CEO]

 

[Mistake]

People have sued over less. Go for it op, be the savior of taste buds

 

[ahtlas7]

Best way to heat them is:
1. warm up in micro
2. finish in hot pan or air fryer to crisp up the outside

 

[AlteredForms]

Buriiiiito!

 

[AlphaDump]

My brother knows a guy who is permanently scarred from passing out with a hotpocket in their mouth that was basically thermonuclear coming out of the microwave.

 

[eddie4]

You're supposed to nuke it and then eat it like "HUASLSLISDSA SSAAA HOT, SHIT HUASSALLSLALSASLAS" until it's cool enough.

 

[AlteredForms]

My brother knows a guy who is permanently scarred from passing out with a hotpocket in their mouth that was basically thermonuclear coming out of the microwave.

I've never had one and even I'm aware that eating Hot Pockets is a gamble. Things from mold to plastic have been found inside those things.

 

[EviLore]

 

[AJUMP23]

 

[PaddyOCanager]

Shit's weird man.

Just get a $30 air fryer and stop living this way.

 

[diunxx]

honestly, ground beef, chicken or pork cooks in like 5-6 mins, just add some taco seasoning if you are not good at seasoning and warm up the tortilla while the meat cooks, throw some shredder cheese and sour cream and you have a burrito in less than 10 minutes and it doesn't taste like homeless vomit.

 

[BossLackey]

Just get a $30 air fryer and stop living this way.

I have an air fryer, I just haven't used it for a burrito yet.

I think people in this thread believe I'm living entirely off of microwave burritos when in reality it's 1 every other week.

 

[BossLackey]

honestly, ground beef, chicken or pork cooks in like 5-6 mins, just add some taco seasoning if you are not good at seasoning and warm up the tortilla while the meat cooks, throw some shredder cheese and sour cream and you have a burrito in less than 10 minutes and it doesn't taste like homeless vomit.

I cook a lot and I'm pretty good at it. I eat these every once in a while precisely because I don't want to ALWAYS be cooking or putting something together, especially at like midnight when I just need something quick and I'm tired.

 

[PaddyOCanager]

I think people in this thread believe I'm living entirely off of microwave burritos when in reality it's 1 every other week.

I mean.......you went to the effort of posting a thread about it, with "out of control" in the title so yeah it kinda came across that way lol.

 

[BossLackey]

I mean.......you went to the effort of posting a thread about it, with "out of control" in the title so yeah it kinda came across that way lol.

I was just trying to make a fun thread

 

[Kacho]

Hell yeah dude. Back in my 20s I'd grab a Bomb Burrito when I was hammered at 2am. Good times lol

I understand your struggle with the struggle meal. Even if you wait 30 minutes after microwaving it, biting into it destroys your tongue. Every time. It's like biting into battery acid.

How are Hot Pockets so expertly engineered?

 

[The Pleasure]

 

[Kev Kev]

Well, I don't know about you guys... but this has my vote for thread of the year

 

[Kilau]

 

[Ribi]

so matter what your hot pockets will still either be cold in the middle or lava. There is no in between.

 

[Doom85]

 

[ReBurn]

I bet it's been 25 years since I had a microwave burrito. I dont know how to prepare one any more. I should get one.

 

[daffyduck]

I was just trying to make a fun thread

There's your problem, you forgot to post a pic of you making a wierd face, like this guy:

 

[AJUMP23]

I have never had a microwave Burrito, they never appealed to me.

 

[Northeastmonk]

I prefer freshly made burritos. Those bean burritos you buy in boxes from the store always had a cold center. Even when you threw it back in the microwave it would explode out the sides, completely ruining the entire meal. They might as well sell them as enchiladas.

 

[The Infectious Paradox]

I have an air fryer, I just haven't used it for a burrito yet.

I think people in this thread believe I'm living entirely off of microwave burritos when in reality it's 1 every other week.

Wrap in tin foil and air fry it. It will be supererior

 

[Rival]

OP must be one of those “poor” people I keep hearing about on tv.