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[Crayon]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?"

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief.

Jessica had a cold. The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman travelled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit."

 

[Keru_Shiri]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?"

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief.

Jessica had a cold. The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit."

 

[Uncle]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?"

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief.

Jessica had a cold. The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit."

 

[Ford Prefect]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?"

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit."

 

[Crayon]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit."

 

[Nintaiyo]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit."

 

[Illuminati]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit."

 

[chubigans]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit."

...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?"

 

[Hitokage]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?"

 

[Zeppu]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should have thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

 

[chubigans]

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around.

...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

 

[Link Man]

Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?"


...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" The president looked up from behind his sofa: "Tom Arnold for fuck sakes will you stop with the naked,covered with peanutbutter, Stephen Seagal Impersonations!!!! We are in serious shit here!

 

[Nintaiyo]

Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces.

 

[Zeppu]

Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. "Oh Shit!" he mumbled.

 

[Link Man]

Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

Iwata laughed.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces.

 

[Hitokage]

Iwata laughed.

The story has multiple scenes in need of transition or elaboration and you throw this in?

 

[rSpooky]

Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

Iwata laughed.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman
...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces.

 

[Link Man]

The story has multiple scenes in need of transition or elaboration and you throw this in?

Eh, why are you taking this so seriously?

 

[Kipe]

Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

Iwata laughed.

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants? "Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman
...

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. "Oh Shit!" he mumbled. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted.

 

[Zeppu]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

--------

Iwata laughed.

--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted.


...

edit scene dividors. remove them if you don't like

 

[pollo]

Eh, why are you taking this so seriously?

Cause you feel the need to include your fanboy drivle into the story?

 

[Nintaiyo]

Good call on the scene dividers. I was about to suggest that.

 

[Nintaiyo]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes.

--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted.


...

 

[pollo]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted.


...

 

[Nintaiyo]

:lol Holy shit. We're gonna have to pull a Kojima to have this story make sense. In other words, trying to tie up all the loose ends of this clusterfuck of a story by the day's end. Still, I look forward to the resolution.

 

[Zeppu]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon. As fate would have it, his roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted.

 

[esbern]

this would have gone so much better if the first sentence wasn't a directly lead into cock jokes

 

[Nintaiyo]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

"Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted.

this would have gone so much better if the first sentence wasn't a directly lead into cock jokes

Not really. It probably would have ended up there anyway. Besides, the story is already free to go in whatever direction it wants. If you don't like it, change it! Don't like a character? Kill them off! I encourage you to add whatever you want. It's going to get pretty boring if it's just the same 3 people replying after one another.

 

[ElNarez]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

"Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love.

 

[Nintaiyo]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman.

Just then, a familiar voice came from behind him. "I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC."

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

"Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love.

 

[pollo]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman.

Just then, a familiar voice came from behind him. "I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC."

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

"Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love.

Not to far from the newly formed couple, the boy, Supeman and Chris Hansen had just finished each other off.

 

[Link Man]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

"Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves.

 

[Zeppu]

nvm

 

[ElNarez]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

"Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters.

 

[fisheyes]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters.

 

[Chris Interactive]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

 

[Starchasing]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself.

 

[Link Man]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud.

Perhaps we should do the story in quotes, in order to avoid the character limit.

 

[Sullichin]

Disregard this post.

 

[Starchasing]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud.

A young deer could not stop staring, it had green flourescent fingernails.

 

[DefectiveReject]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud.

.

 

[BobFromPikeCreek]

]Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole. Fortunately, the sucking power of the black hole was enough to bring them both to orgasm repeatedly for the next 10 years.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud.

.

 

[Zeppu]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole. Fortunately, the sucking power of the black hole was enough to bring them both to orgasm repeatedly for the next 10 years.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud. A young deer could not stop staring, it had green flourescent fingernails. Tacgnol, who had previously been banished to the lake by Longcat, had grown strong over time by devouring the souls of the stars which had been drowned and was emerging from the lake.

.

 

[Baker]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole. Fortunately, the sucking power of the black hole was enough to bring them both to orgasm repeatedly for the next 10 years. Within the confines of this love ladened vortex, the balance of evolution was toppled to its side.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud. Tacgnol, who had previously been banished to the lake by Longcat, had grown strong over time by devouring the souls of the stars which had been drowned and was emerging from the lake.

.

 

[Starchasing]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole. Fortunately, the sucking power of the black hole was enough to bring them both to orgasm repeatedly for the next 10 years. Within the confines of this love ladened vortex, the balance of evolution was toppled to its side. Suddenly a cascade of intoxicated stars emerged from the distant possibly nonexistant horizon as in a nearby cold little planet a pack of wolves danced shouting "Oh listen to them, the children of the night what sweet music they make"

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud. Tacgnol, who had previously been banished to the lake by Longcat, had grown strong over time by devouring the souls of the stars which had been drowned and was emerging from the lake.

.

 

[Kipe]

Perhaps we should do the story in quotes, in order to avoid the character limit.

You have to take out the quotes when you add your piece. The forum won't let you post only a quote. That's why you see a post quoted and then a period underneath.

Ex:

[blah blah blah]
.

 

[S. L.]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.


--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole. Fortunately, the sucking power of the black hole was enough to bring them both to orgasm repeatedly for the next 10 years. Within the confines of this love ladened vortex, the balance of evolution was toppled to its side. Suddenly a cascade of intoxicated stars emerged from the distant possibly nonexistant horizon as in a nearby cold little planet a pack of wolves danced shouting "Oh listen to them, the children of the night what sweet music they make". This marked a turning point in the love life of Chuck.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud. Tacgnol, who had previously been banished to the lake by Longcat, had grown strong over time by devouring the souls of the stars which had been drowned and was emerging from the lake.

.

 

[MisterHero]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.

--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole. Fortunately, the sucking power of the black hole was enough to bring them both to orgasm repeatedly for the next 10 years. Within the confines of this love ladened vortex, the balance of evolution was toppled to its side. Suddenly a cascade of intoxicated stars emerged from the distant possibly nonexistant horizon as in a nearby cold little planet a pack of wolves danced shouting "Oh listen to them, the children of the night what sweet music they make". This marked a turning point in the love life of Chuck.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud. Tacgnol, who had previously been banished to the lake by Longcat, had grown strong over time by devouring the souls of the stars which had been drowned and was emerging from the lake.

--------

At the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, Superman realized that all the orphans were actually skrulls in disguise and Lex Luthor had taken all their tears. Because he could cure cancer but he wants people to pay obscene amounts of money for it.

He knew of only one whose tears were even purer than those of orphans. Superman groaned as he knew what he must do, what he HAD to do, and that was...

...to make Chuck Norris cry.

.

 

[arts&crafts]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.

--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman. and the little boy obeyed.

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole. Fortunately, the sucking power of the black hole was enough to bring them both to orgasm repeatedly for the next 10 years. Within the confines of this love ladened vortex, the balance of evolution was toppled to its side. Suddenly a cascade of intoxicated stars emerged from the distant possibly nonexistant horizon as in a nearby cold little planet a pack of wolves danced shouting "Oh listen to them, the children of the night what sweet music they make". This marked a turning point in the love life of Chuck.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud. Tacgnol, who had previously been banished to the lake by Longcat, had grown strong over time by devouring the souls of the stars which had been drowned and was emerging from the lake.

--------

At the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, Superman realized that all the orphans were actually skrulls in disguise and Lex Luthor had taken all their tears. Because he could cure cancer but he wants people to pay obscene amounts of money for it.

He knew of only one whose tears were even purer than those of orphans. Superman groaned as he knew what he must do, what he HAD to do, and that was...

...to make Chuck Norris cry.

.

 

[Penguin]

Jessica Beil, realizing the stupidity of her plan to seduce Superman after watching his sperm create small craters wherever it hit, decided to run for cover. Idiotically, Biel climbed into the suit of lead armor and jumped into the lake.

Superman folded his arms as he stood next to the sexy starlet. Jessica Alba laughed as she watched Jessica Biel sink into the depths of the lake. That lake which served as the final resting place for many young actresses. Little did she know that wasn't the last she would see of Zombie Jessica Biel.

Then Jessica noticed a hotdog sandwiched between the cotton of her pretty pink panties and the wirey tuffet of pubes that covered her unfortunately assymetrical lady-bacon. Jessica wasn't quite sure where the hot dog came from. Nor did she know how her younger brother's severed head found its way into her fridge. Nor, after seeing the head, was she still sure it was a hot dog. But it tasted good all the same. To Superman, that is.

--------

Iwata laughed. After all, who wouldn't laugh at the ridiculous, yet oddly sexy, scene that was occurring before his very eyes. Having secretly hidden cameras within Wiis, he had every location on earth monitored from his personal space station which Earthlings had, for centuries, been calling: 'The Sun'.

--------

The next morning, an argument loosely relating to the string of Hollywood actress disappearances broke out in the solemn annals of the White House.

"You forgot my line of coke, you jerk!" came a voice down the hall. "How am I supposed to eat like a cannibal if I'm not high as a kite?"

"You should of thought of that before you ate that busload of Mexican tourists you son of a bitch," retorted the president of the United States.

"Yeah well hindsight is twenty-twenty, Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback. . . is it even Monday morning, I would be able to tell if I could feel my dick still?", said Toaster in his familiar barely-intelligable manner.

"It is monday morning and it's time to get to work finding these missing white bitches", barked the Commander in Chief. Wasting no time, the President picked up a phone and dialed a number very quickly while using his spare hand to shield his sore anus from Toaster, who was eyeing it hungrily. "GET ME STEVEN SEAGAL!" shouted the president on the phone as he rubbed his anal fissures.

--------

Jessica had a cold. (And a penis, but that's another story.) The only cure for her common cold was the blood of an orphan. They had already run out from the last kidnapped child but Superman was more than willing to go get more, even creating more orphans along the way. Having that idea in mind, he set off in a journey.

Superman traveled across many lands until he came to the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, a place with a peculiar but quite fitting name. Strangely enough, it was a rather pleasing, if not unfamiliar, aroma that met Superman's heroic nostrils upon arrival. After all Superman did grow up on a farm, so being knee deep in manure was not exactly a new experience for the man of steel. Having landed, Superman quickly examined his surroundings and said, "What a load of shit. Nobody will care if I slaughter the adults of this town and harvest their children."

"S-s-superman?" said a little boy with eyes wide as saucer plates, unknowingly clinging to Superman's cape as the hero turned around. "Why aren't you wearing any pants?
"Why don't you have a closer look" Grinned Superman. and the little boy obeyed.

--------

"This is Stephen Seagal, what's the situation?" And those were his last ever words as Chuck Norris, having just finished counting to infinity for the third time, roundhouse kicked him sending him flying into the horizon.

The president had checked everywhere - under the bed, behind the fridge, in the garbage - but he was nowhere to be found. "Hello? Hello!?! Damn it, he's gone!" cursed the President.

--------

As fate would have it, Chuck's roundhouse kick sent Mr. Seagal careening for miles and he landed on the headfirst into a soft brown pile of "dirt" on the Island of Elegant Feces. As Stephen was blowing out his nose to clear out the "dirt" dug deep in his nostrils, he realized he was finally outmatched against the sexy glistening pecs of Chuck Norris. His only hope out of his current predicament is to play against Chuck's massive ego. Stephen challenged Chuck to a match of chess boxing. Chuck feeling victory at hand heartily accepted. As the match went on, Stephen and Chuck realized something : They were in love. With themselves. And so they decided to go to the store to buy some toasters. Little did they know that the toaster was watching them.

As soon as Chuck noticed this, and being himself a hebephile, he decided to travel back in time to meet his teenager version and seduce himself. though little did he realise he could not occupy the same space in time, and on entering his younger self, his penis exploded in his younger selfs ass and created a black hole. Fortunately, the sucking power of the black hole was enough to bring them both to orgasm repeatedly for the next 10 years. Within the confines of this love ladened vortex, the balance of evolution was toppled to its side. Suddenly a cascade of intoxicated stars emerged from the distant possibly nonexistant horizon as in a nearby cold little planet a pack of wolves danced shouting "Oh listen to them, the children of the night what sweet music they make". This marked a turning point in the love life of Chuck.

--------

At the bottom of the lake, a hand emerged from the mud. Tacgnol, who had previously been banished to the lake by Longcat, had grown strong over time by devouring the souls of the stars which had been drowned and was emerging from the lake.Ready to attack his oppresors once more.

--------

At the fabled volcano of Elegant Feces, Superman realized that all the orphans were actually skrulls in disguise and Lex Luthor had taken all their tears. Because he could cure cancer but he wants people to pay obscene amounts of money for it.

He knew of only one whose tears were even purer than those of orphans. Superman groaned as he knew what he must do, what he HAD to do, and that was...

...to make Chuck Norris cry.

.