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My ass has been kicked by one wing.

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RevenantKioku

PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
So there's this local restaurant I go to every one in a while and always order "The hottest wings you got." Now what I've gotten in the past has been a mix of very spicy or not so spicy wings, but always very tasty. So I've been wanting some wings badly, and gather some friends and head off to the restaurant.
Sit down, order, same as always. Pound down my two margaritas (two for one baby!) and just wait for my food. I get it, and there's a crowd of waiters watching me. Waiting for me to eat. This is strange, I think. I've never gotten this treatment before. Then I look at the wings.
I've had tons of hot wings before, of all degrees of spiciness. One thing they did have in common was the were shades of red. Not deep brown.
Took a whiff. Not so bad.
Took a bite.
No flavor
Just spice.
And then pain.
I've had my tongue numb after doing a full plate of wings before, but this was totally unreal. A few minutes passed and I went to the bathroom, and apparently fifteen minutes passed while I was in there. I can't remember it at all. I can only remember my one friend asking if I was alright, and then when I left the bathroom everyone else had finished eating.
The chef actually had another set of wings ready for me when I gave up on these monsters, but I was done. My two pounds of not as spicy wings are sitting in my fridge now. I've completely lost my appetite.
If I wasn't in such a daze after that one wing, I would have gone and shaken the hand of that chef. He beat me.
I just wish I asked what the hell was in that sauce.
One mother fucking wing.
Jesus.
 
RevenantKioku said:
So there's this local restaurant I go to every one in a while and always order "The hottest wings you got." Now what I've gotten in the past has been a mix of very spicy or not so spicy wings, but always very tasty. So I've been wanting some wings badly, and gather some friends and head off to the restaurant.
Sit down, order, same as always. Pound down my two margaritas (two for one baby!) and just wait for my food. I get it, and there's a crowd of waiters watching me. Waiting for me to eat. This is strange, I think. I've never gotten this treatment before. Then I look at the wings.
I've had tons of hot wings before, of all degrees of spiciness. One thing they did have in common was the were shades of red. Not deep brown.
Took a whiff. Not so bad.
Took a bite.
No flavor
Just spice.
And then pain.
I've had my tongue numb after doing a full plate of wings before, but this was totally unreal. A few minutes passed and I went to the bathroom, and apparently fifteen minutes passed while I was in there. I can't remember it at all. I can only remember my one friend asking if I was alright, and then when I left the bathroom everyone else had finished eating.
The chef actually had another set of wings ready for me when I gave up on these monsters, but I was done. My two pounds of not as spicy wings are sitting in my fridge now. I've completely lost my appetite.
If I wasn't in such a daze after that one wing, I would have gone and shaken the hand of that chef. He beat me.
I just wish I asked what the hell was in that sauce.
One mother fucking wing.
Jesus.


Dude is this the "Wing of Death" thing they do at that restaurant in Oberlin, OH? The title is usually enough to keep most people away. Of course it didn't stop me and my friends, but if this is the same wing it is bad news.
 
Spicy Garlic Wings are good. Heavy on the flavor, midrange on the "heat".

To be honest, I've never been one for "heat" anyway -- give me flavor.
 
You have learned an important lesson today, my son. I used to go for the "hottest wings" as well. Generally "suicide hot." Went to a new place once, asked for such wings and got bad-tasting wings that were incredibly hot.

These days I just range from hot to "suicide" depending on the place. Generally I like some variation on Louisiana hot sauce or some sort of red pepper sauce. If it's not red, chances are it tastes like crap. But I love the taste of good hot wings... so now I try to find the perfect wing -- hot, but still packed with flavour.

My latest wing experience was my first in ages. All I can say is that I'm getting old. Ordered 25 wings, which was a pretty typical amount for me back in the day of weekly trips to wing night. There were days when I'd go 30.... or maybe even more.

This week I couldn't finish. Wow.

Before my incident with the suicide hot wings and before the time I figured I was a "big man" on wings, my brother once ate 50 "challenge" wings for a free T-shirt. He struggled, but he did it (they were the biggest wings we'd ever seen at this place, to boot). We were all pretty impressed by the feat, which took ages. He got his shirt, and as we were going back to his car, he sort of slowed down, took a few more steps and hurled a big pile of wing. Took a few more steps and hurled some more.

He didn't come out for wings so much after that.

And to top it all off, the shirt didn't fit.
 
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