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[NinjaBoiX]

Oh man, I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m dreading this day...

Time is a healer and all that, it really is. Hope you’re coping ok in the meantime.

 

[TheContact]

sorry about your dad, OP. fuck cancer.

 

[TheMan]

So my dad died about 20 years ago.

I remember, about six months after he died, sitting at a bar and getting drunk. I was very emotional and said to the older guy next to me that I never got the chance to tell my dad I loved him.

The older guy asked me about my dad, and when I was finished he said to me, it’s a good thing you didn’t say anything to your dad because he would’ve hated it.

The guy was right. My dad was the type of guy who didn’t like things like that being said out loud. He was a very caring person, but he was private with his emotions. I think we need to respect that.

OP, I’m willing to bet that the relationship you have with your own kids is quite different?

I try my best to spend time with my kids and I do stuff with them that my dad didn’t have time for-but I’m not perfect, im busy too sometimes. I’ll say that my dad did his best to provide for us as kids and he did a very good job. He loved us in his own way and he wasn’t a bad person at all.

Things got much more complicated as we got older. I’m in a different part of the country now settling his affairs and there’s like a whole different side of his life he never told me about.

 

[highrider]

I’m sorry about your dad. At 53 very few of my peers have both parents still alive, I’m very lucky.

 

[AfricanKing]

Sorry for your loss OP

 

[93xfan]

I’m so sorry to hear that OP

 

[Jose92]

I am sorry for your loss. Stay strong buddy.

 

[Polelock]

Still kind of hard to believe. He was always distant and discrete, but in the last decade he made more of an effort to stay connected. I had a hard time reciprocating on my end but now it’s too late. Last text he sent me was 2 weeks ago asking me for pics of my kids. never sent them. I’d been meaning to call him but I was too busy with work and selfishly put other things first like chilling with fs2020. In the end cancer claimed another soul. Doctor callled me yesterday from the hospital, was hoping I’d have 24 hours to get down to where he lives. Doctor called me back 30 later to say he was fucking dead. I knew that call was going to come someday but damn.

anyway, just venting

I see and deal with death almost daily, volunteer at Hospice fixing peoples electronics or computers and sit with people dying that have no one there. Please, do not hold on to the fact you did not reciprocate. Your Dad felt guilt about how he was before and was trying to correct it. You don't have to accept it. Now that he is gone, you can either let it go and realize that your Dad knew he wasn't who he should have been and think about that and how he wanted to fix it, or dwell on what you did previously to him passing. You can change one of those now. You can't change what you did before he passed but you can on how you feel now. Grief will come in waves my friend. Large ones at first and then it will get easier. Just like the ocean you may have a freak wave come through that may break you down, it will be ok. Your Dad trying to fix things shows he loved you, he may have not been who you needed previously, he saw that, changed it, and attempted to fix it. Doesn't mean you have to have accepted him. You grieve on your own terms. If you want to talk or need some advice, I can do my best and can offer some wonderful books that will help you through. I will be thinking of you. Take care.

 

[kittoo]

Man. That's tough news. Take care and dont live with regrets. Direct that to your other family members. Bond with them and have a happy fulfilling life. This is life and one day we all will be gone too. Can only hope we leave happy memories.

 

[PanzerAzel]

Damn, sorry to hear that. Stay strong.

 

[edbrat]

Sorry to hear about your Dad OP, I hope you're ok. Update us on how you're getting on if you get a moment, you've got a whole board of manbaby games obsessives who are rooting for you.

 

[-Minsc-]

My sympathies. In March my own dad passed away. Still many things I would have liked to talk to him about. At the end of the day the both of us communicated the best we could. We simply ran out of time.