My dog is dead

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I'm sorry but I don't know what to do. She was hit by a car. It was in front of my kids. She was across the street and I called for her and she came running and a car hit her. It's all my fault. My kids loved her. My son has a lot of issues and delays and he loved her so much and he needed her and she's gone and it's all my fault. How will I ever make it better for them. I can't. I don't know what to do.

What do I do with her? Can I bury her, or do I have to take her somewhere?
 
The first thing you need to do is let go of the guilt. You weren't driving the car and they weren't attentive to the situation. You wouldn't have called if you realized they were that close/fast. I'm terribly sorry for your family's loss, but you need to not blame yourself.
 
This happened with our family dog. And my dad felt responsible and guilty. I'm really sorry for your loss, and feel bad for you kids. It's not your fault though, you should let that go.
 
Use this time to teach your kids about death and grieving. Maybe find out if they'd prefer for her to be buried or cremated. Money taken into consideration of course.

Definitely get another dog eventually but be more careful.
 
It's not your fault. It's a fault of circumstance, and many factors beyond your control. Do not beat yourself up over it.

My deep condolences for your loss. First, I would say give yourself an ample grieving period, and make sure your kids are alright. You might want to look up some online help on how to deal with death and children. Consider burying your dog in your back yard - as weird as it sounds, that can be cathartic having a final resting place for your dog so close to your home.

Once sufficient grieving time has passed, you may or may not want to get a second dog. Do not think about replacing your original dog, that's the wrong mind set. When we put our last dog to sleep, I went out and got another dog very shortly after, not because I wanted to replace my old dog. Rather, my mindset is that dogs are terrific companions in times of great tragedy, and I used the death of my first dog as a bonding experience with my second. It can help, but make sure you have grieved for your first dog first.

But please please remember that this is not your fault and you shouldn't punish yourself like it was. Again, my deep condolences. I know how strong the bond with a dog can be.
 
What a tragic accident. So sorry for you and your family.

Regarding burial, check your local ordinances. Your vet might be able to guide you here. As long as you own the property it is probably fine but you need to obey certain rules - grave depth, proximity to water sources, etc., and they vary from place to place.

Your vet should also be able to guide and assist you with cremation or a pet cemetery if you decide to go that way (note the later would be very expensive and likely impractical).

Either way get in touch with your vet and ask for some guidance. And yeah I would not wait too long before getting another dog if your son was that attached, and a different breed is a good idea. Allow some time for mourning but probably no more than a month.
 
Probably call the local vet in regards to animal disposal. Not all states allow you to bury your dog in your backyard.

I would then take the kids out of the house so they're not just staring at the street. Make sure if there's blood on the street to wash it off. Take the kids to dinner and if they have any friends or relatives try to schedule a sleepover.

I would gather all the animal toys and put in a bag but don't throw it out but try to have as little visual reminders in the house. I would advise against getting a new dog immediately as they might feel you're trying to replace your old dog. I would wait a month and then get a new one.
 
I'm never going to forgive myself and I'm never going to get the image of her getting hit out of my head I have lots of depression issues and I'll be fine it's just not possible for me to get over things I just don't know how to face them I just hope they don't blame me they are only four and six. I'm here with her in the garage my poor angel
 
Yes, you can take her to the vet and ask for a burial or cremation. Costs about $150.

Sorry about your loss. Our seven year old cat collapsed and died Thursday night. Went from walking to not breathing in 60 seconds. Unexpected and shocking. My wife is trying to feel guilty about it, somehow, but we keep talking her out of it.
 
First OP I'm so sorry and if I could give you a hug I would.

Second of all OP it's not your fault. You can't see the future. It's not your fault.

It will be hard, but grief the pain that comes with loss will lessen and doing it together as a family will help. It's ok to cry.

Having a proper burial or having her cremated can help with closure. Call the vet on what you can do.
 
How bad does she look? If not bad, have the kids come out for one last pet goodbye and then take the dog somewhere to be cremated.

It's not your fault man.
 
Like the hat? said:
I'm never going to forgive myself and I'm never going to get the image of her getting hit out of my head I have lots of depression issues and I'll be fine it's just not possible for me to get over things I just don't know how to face them I just hope they don't blame me they are only four and six. I'm here with her in the garage my poor angel
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Yea you need to get out of the house too. Go see a movie or pretty much anything to take your mind off of it. Spiraling into a depressive fit isn't going to help you or your kids.
 
There are few things harder in life than losing a pet, and I'm afraid there's very little that can be said to help ease the pain you and your kids are feeling. In time, the pain will heal, but for now, grieve and remember your dog for who she was.

It's not your fault, although I know that's also something that'll take time for you to accept. Awful things happen, and when they do, the first thing the mind likes to do is try to find out why (in other words, to assign blame). That won't help, and I hope you don't beat yourself up over it. Way too many variables to just say it's one particular thing.

When I lost my lab Sophie years and years ago, I buried her in my family's yard and we had a little ceremony for her, but whether you can do that in your area depends. If you are in the city or you don't have much space, cremation is also an option.

Either way, I'm really sorry for you. I wish there were a phrase that could make it easier when a pet dies, but it will take time, it'll suck, and I wish you and your family all the best in getting through it. Feel free to PM me if you just want to unload or anything.
 
Like the hat? said:
I'm never going to forgive myself and I'm never going to get the image of her getting hit out of my head I have lots of depression issues and I'll be fine it's just not possible for me to get over things I just don't know how to face them I just hope they don't blame me they are only four and six. I'm here with her in the garage my poor angel
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You need to be strong for your kids. They take cues on how to grieve from parents. If you are losing your mind over this, it'll feel that much more traumatic for your kids. As hard as it is, you need to be brave and strong for them, and that probably means you need to distance yourself from visual reminders of your dog (and certainly her body).

Your dog loved you and thats why she came when you called her. Likewise, your anguish shows you cared for her. Take solace in this, it was a love both ways, which is an indication of a happy life. If you are having trouble with depression, maybe seek help from a counselor.
 
Jarmel said:
Yea you need to get out of the house too. Go see a movie or pretty much anything to take your mind off of it. Spiraling into a depressive fit isn't going to help you or your kids.
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God, I remember exactly which movie I watched after each animals death. So many :(
 
Ding II said:
Yes, you can take her to the vet and ask for a burial or cremation. Costs about $150.

Sorry about your loss. Our seven year old cat collapsed and died Thursday night. Went from walking to not breathing in 60 seconds. Unexpected and shocking. My wife is trying to feel guilty about it, somehow, but we keep talking her out of it.
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Fuck, my condolences too.

OP, one thing to remember - life will go on. Everything you liked to do before, you will still do going forward. This is not the end of the world and you don't need to fear this like everything is going to change. It's ok to feel sad and upset by this, but try to keep things to a reasonable and manageable level. It does you no good to destroy yourself over this -- if nothing else, you dog wouldn't have wanted to see you in distress.
 
I'm so sorry, OP. :(

I lost my dog and best friend to cancer earlier this year. It was easily the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, and I'm still recovering. As others in here have mentioned, give yourself and your family time to grieve and don't try to immediately replace her, as you may end up resenting the new dog.

I'd recommend cremation, as you can have a beautiful urn to remember her by, and even get jewelry (necklaces, bracelets, etc.) to keep some ashed in so you and your kids can have her with you all the time.

The worst part is that the only way things get better is with time. I know that it's impossible to be consoled right now, but you and your family will recover. If you can, try to remember that you gave her a loving and happy home to live in.

Again, I'm so, so sorry.
 
Tuber said:
I wish there were a phrase that could make it easier when a pet dies
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It's corny, but this little story, true or not, always brings me comfort:

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker’s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, “I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. He said, “People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life – like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?”

The six-year-old continued, “Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”
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Do not feel terrible that dog's live such a short time on this earth, it's how we used the time we spent with them that matters.
 
It's okay and healthy for your kids to know you are sad at times like these. There's a balance, of course.

Take a few moments to pull yourself together a bit, get off gaf and go be present with your family. Make sure your kids know it is okay to be sad and that the sadness might not go away for awhile. We've lost two pets since we had my daughter and both times we found it best to talk things through, answer any questions she had about death, and share happy memories, even funny memories. Only then was it time to do something as a family to escape the grief for awhile, something interactive like playing a board game or going to a park.

I know you are feeling guilty for the way this happened but I would NOT express those feelings of guilt to your kids. I think they would carry that forever and there's no need for it. This was a tragic accident, it may not feel that way to you for awhile but you gotta fake it 'til you make it.
 
Don't bury it yourself! Animals just dig it up and uh... yeah.

Lots of animals waiting for your care at the animal shelter. I'm sure your late doggy will appreciate another dog in your family's life.
 
Like the hat? said:
What do I do with her? Can I bury her, or do I have to take her somewhere?
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Call the vet, they can recommend a cremation service or something similar. Don't just bury her on your property, as that can be a health code violation and have other unpleasant side effects.
 
My condolences OP, I lost my 15 year old dog (adopted as a puppy from a shelter) last month and its always tough. Its not your fault, you didn't know a simple thing like calling your dog would result in her death.

The first 2 weeks are really bad, while I have lost close relatives including all my grandparents and a few closer ones, none of them hit me as hard as my dog. Just something about a dog that is your best friend and daily companion for years, with every memory being of a loyal buddy. It does get better, just try to find something to keep yourself and your kids occupied but make sure you talk about death and loss with them if they want to.

Every morning and right before you go to bed, you completely forget your dog is gone and then it hits you and thats the hardest times of the day I found for nearly a month. Be sure to check in on your kids regularly and let them know its ok to cry.

and yeah cremation services can pick up your dog from your house or vet, it should cost $100-200 depending on how you want it cremated and stuff. We cremated my dog and poured the ashes out in the desert where he used to love to run around.
 
Addendum: be prepared for any and all reactions from your kids at these ages. Don't be upset if they don't feel sad or aren't sad for a long time. Don't be surprised if they ask you lots of questions you aren't prepared to deal with; it's okay to say "I don't know" or "I can't answer that right now because I'm really sad but I'll think about it for awhile." Everybody grieves in their own way and this is especially true of children.
 
Absolutely horrible man. Dogs are the absolute best and i truly consider them my family. All i can say is don't beat yourself up too much over it, it won't help anything really.

This reminds me of my father (rest in peace) who had a dog of his own when i wasn't born yet, and he always used to follow him around everywhere without the lease, then one day he had to cross the street and a car was coming up quite fast, so my father decided to wait at the crosswalk but the dog didn't and he got hit by the car and got dragged some until the car stopped. I can't imagine how that must have been.
 
I raised the last dog I had from a pup for seven years and had a lot of love for him. Took the bastard everywhere I could and he was attached to my hip whenever I was around. He was like my child.

A couple of years ago I had just gotten home with him after running some errands. I parked on the street, let him out, and he ran straight up the driveway to the side entrance of the house. As I unloaded stuff from my car, I saw another car coming so I called him over so I could keep my eye on him. He dashed down the driveway too quickly and straight onto the middle of the street. Worst feeling ever.

The grieving process lasted a few months but I was eventually able to move on. It may not feel like it now, but you and your kids will be able to as well.
 
Sorry OP, because this is one of those things that can happen to anyone that has a dog in a neighborhood.

But I have to say something. I am so impressed with the thoughtfulness and compassion that people show on these threads. With the world as crazy as it is, it's just nice to see it.... Just sorry to hear about your pup!
 
What a terrible thing to happen to you and your family. I am so sorry. You probably have to bring it to the vet or animal crematorium. And from there I hate to say it but you will likely have to pay. How much is depending on what you choose.(private urn or not etc) I dont mean to sound horrible..but I was not prepared for that stuff and it sucked hard.

Please take the time to grief your dogs loss and dont get a new one right away. Because there is a chance it will be too much compared to the other one.And as each eog is different that can cause isues.

All the best for you and your fam.
 
I'm sorry man. I lost many dogs throughout the years, and we got most of them cremated(sp?). We usually spread the ashes over the rose garden. For a while we'd gather the roses and remember them, until we were ready to move on.

I think you should eventually get a new dog, and keep it on a leash next time.
 
Sorry about the loss of your dear family member.
Remember him dearly and grief for him.
When all is better, go to a nice animal shelter with your kids and look around, some dog will surely find you!
 
My condolences. I moved around a lot as a kid, and struggled to make friends when I was very young because of it - as soon as I was in one place long enough to make any, we'd be moving on shortly after. When I was 8, we got a dog, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Absolutely loved him. When I was 20, he died of cancer. I was heartbroken, just heartbroken. They're genuinely family, and you always remember them. about two years later, my family ended up going down to the shelter to adopt an abandoned dog. They don't replace the first, at all. It's just a tribute to an incredible friend. You have to learn to love again.
 
Man that's hard on everyone OP, sorry for your loss. It sounds wrong but sometimes the best thing to do to speed up the healing process is to get another dog. I'd give it a couple of months so it doesn't feel like you're just replacing them, but having another dog will help fill the hole one's passing leaves behind.
 
I'm sorry for you loss, but I have to ask about leash laws where you live. If I let my dog across the street without being strapped to me I'm facing fines and neighbors that will report me.

Also, how old are your children? Are they young enough to just accept another pet?
 
Sorry for you loss OP.

As for burial, depending on the size of the dog, you likely won't be able to dig a big enough grave on your own. I know some of our bigger dogs required heavy equipment to bury. However, I dug a few graves for smaller dogs, I'd try to get to 4+ feet or so.

The easiest thing would be cremation, but it will cost money, so be prepared. When I had my black lab put down, I think it cost me around $150 or so.

When the time is right, go to a local animal shelter. We got our last dog from one and it was the best decision we've made. We adopted an older dog that wasn't getting too much attention from people, so we likely saved her life and she's been amazing.
 
You have to train dogs not to cross streets. City strays handle it pretty well but house pants can't

Get a new pet and don't blame your self.

You'll be fine.

My grandmothers dog had the same situation. Can be hard but accept life as life is and your kids will learn from you and how you react
 
It's not your fault OP. I blamed myself for a long time when our first dog was killed because I was the one who was home when it happened (another dog jumped our fence and attacked her).

I'm very sorry for your loss.
 
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