Apparently he had oxygen deprivation to his organs. The feeling right now I have is that im a failure of a son, I couldv'e done some more to help him, get him to the hospital sooner, anything. We wanted an ambulance to take him but before he got worse he refused aid, so our law stops ems from sending an ambulance. He was upstairs and he is about 300-320 pounds so we couldnt move him ourselves, so we had to watch him slip away before ems could send anyone. Anyone else we couldve have called were afraid of catching covid.
I'm not looking for any sympathy I just someone to make this make sense, he didnt deserve this, I wish it was me and not him. I wish I could say goodbye and that I love him. idk what im doing maybe im just typing this out for me, im left with my thoughts and only my brother is home with me and now my mom has covid too but she seems alright, she left to see a doctor.
Guys take this covid seriously, scocial distance and wear your mask.
Its always ugly brother. But you can only help to a limit. Take care of your family members. I won't say I know your pain, but I had all of my family which includes uncles and aunts in hospital a few months back. The loss due to the pandemic is immeasurable...it broke my heart, put me in hospital(but not due to infection). In the world of social media even the question of survival has become a political debate. I understand the feeling of helplessness though. If not for my sister.....last year I was in a similar situation, I needed a higher level of medical attention but due to lockdown, everything was closed, and we couldn't go anywhere, but because of her I survived. I am the most beloved and the most intelligent person in my family and the tragic part was that nearly all my family members work in the hospital, yet they were afraid, and in their fear they went as far as to call me delusional and that nothing was wrong with my body when I had serious stomach issues due to a different virus and bacterial infection in my mouth and I had never seen that ever in my family. When we eventually went to a super specialty hospital and the reports came the shame of my family members were showing on their face. I forgave them because I understood deep down we all were scared. Months after all my remaining family members ended up in the same hospital in the same bed I was. I don't know what to say to you to provide solace but I don't usually share personal stuff but I wanted to tell you that i understand that you are hurt. It's okay to feel guilty, its ok to cry. I feel guilty for getting sick, I feel guilty for getting angry over my family, I feel guilty over how I fought with my family in an ugly fashion even though the question was about my life and I was proven right, guilt is natural. So, Please take care of yourself. I am still going through treatment. Two days ago, I had surgital removal of my wisdom teeth, I have four stitches on my inner cheeks, I can't eat solid food as I am typing, I am on a liquid diet, I have two more to go. I am in physical pain right now but I cannot imagine your pain and guilt. I pray for peace of your mind.
To all those reading, please follow some preventive measures. Because it's about perspective, you are never going to solve all the problems of the world, but that should not be an excuse for not making any effort to address the problems that we can solve. We didn't clubbed together as a society for hugs and kisses, we did so for survival. We need solidarity as a species when it comes to questions like these. And its not over yet. I am not scorning people, I understand why some people don't want to get vaccinated, many in my family didn't and they work in hospital, and they were hospitalized later. You cannot let yourself be governed by fear of fear itself. Because only in front of fear one can be brave, so many people have sacrificed their life for producing this vaccine, some willingly. Yes there are risks, but you take more risks crossing a road every day. So far, the only way this pandemic can logically end is by complete vaccination. Nobody can enforce it on you, but please give it a serious thought. I pray for well being of all of you. Peace.