EmCeeGramr
Member
So let me tell you about this lumberjack faced mother fucker named EatChildren.
I was minding my own business one day, walking down the street, when out of the corner of my eye I see this lunar eclipse of a human body pass across the horizon. This son of a bitch is torturing the poor sidewalk and pushing other pedestrians aside like they're nine pins and he's a merry magical Dutchman. I look down, and at his feet are at least three cats on leashes. His beard is at least 3 feet long and looks like it could cause third degree rug burns.
I attempt to avoid falling into the gravitational well moving rapidly towards me, but my attempts are thwarted when one of his sentient hairball factories runs around me and gets me tangled in its leash.
Words cannot describe what sounds the thing made. Future generations would call it the Shame of the Anglophone World. I attempt to respond but am cut off when I realize that his sweaty bloodshot eyes keep looking up and to the side of something. Asshole is wearing Google Glass. I could not even tell because the frames had been swallowed whole by the meat mud that was this creature's face. I later learned in the newspaper that he had been arrested for walking around with 38GB of Mass Effect pornography strapped to his face.
I was minding my own business one day, walking down the street, when out of the corner of my eye I see this lunar eclipse of a human body pass across the horizon. This son of a bitch is torturing the poor sidewalk and pushing other pedestrians aside like they're nine pins and he's a merry magical Dutchman. I look down, and at his feet are at least three cats on leashes. His beard is at least 3 feet long and looks like it could cause third degree rug burns.
I attempt to avoid falling into the gravitational well moving rapidly towards me, but my attempts are thwarted when one of his sentient hairball factories runs around me and gets me tangled in its leash.
Words cannot describe what sounds the thing made. Future generations would call it the Shame of the Anglophone World. I attempt to respond but am cut off when I realize that his sweaty bloodshot eyes keep looking up and to the side of something. Asshole is wearing Google Glass. I could not even tell because the frames had been swallowed whole by the meat mud that was this creature's face. I later learned in the newspaper that he had been arrested for walking around with 38GB of Mass Effect pornography strapped to his face.
