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[Stinkles]

My name is Anakin.

My mom is a Slave on Tatooine. We live together in a large, well-built house on a normal street. It has a workshop, several bedrooms and a nice dining room. We have our own protocol droid, fluent in millions of dialects - and able to perform most of our household chores.

This gives me time to work on my huge anti-gravity Pod Racer. I can drive this and win vast amounts of prizemoney which I am allowed to keep and take home. I often do this after eating the plentiful foods and fruit in my house.

I am not sure who she is a slave to, or what that slavery entails.

My mom is relaxing with a drink. She is also mildly prescient and thinks it's a good idea for me to drive two turbine reactors at hundreds of miles an hour through deadend canyons.

Because my mom is a slave.

 

[Solo]

sand gets everywhere blah blah yadda

 

[Medalion]

Hey Phantom Menace, how's that Trade Embargo going with the Naboo?

 

[Discotheque]

Qui Gon should have left your stupid ass with the slaver.

 

[Harpuia]

something something midochlorians something.

 

[crazy monkey]

are you drunk? People will start posting cat gif:lol

 

[Irnbru]

My name is Anakin.

My mom is a Slave on Tatooine. We live together in a large, well-built house on a normal street. It has a workshop, several bedrooms and a nice dining room. We have our own protocol droid, fluent in millions of dialects - and able to perform most of our household chores.

This gives me time to work on my huge anti-gravity Pod Racer. I can drive this and win vast amounts of prizemoney which I am allowed to keep and take home. I often do this after eating the plentiful foods and fruit in my house.

I am not sure who she is a slave to, or what that slavery entails.

My mom is relaxing with a drink. She is also mildly prescient and thinks it's a good idea for me to drive two turbine reactors at hundreds of miles an hour through deadend canyons.

Because my mom is a slave.

OuterWorldVoice
drunk, naked and uncooperative
(Today, 12:12 AM)

 

[mollipen]

Your mom is a slave? That's pretty hot.

 

[Always-honest]

are you doubting star Wars?

 

[Stinkles]

I don't have a dad. I was conceived by no event whatsoever. My mom, who is a slave, can't explain it.

 

[WyndhamPrice]

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAAACE?

 

[Skittleguy]

PUT IT IN THE TEA! PUT THE POISON IN THE TEA!

 

[Spire]

I was freed and left my mom and joined the Jedi order. Then I took 10 fucking years or so to go back and see my mom again.

 

[Dresden]

Your mom is a slave.

There is a vague possibility that your mom was impregnated by an alien.

It's not possible, you say. But sex leads to insemination. Insemination leads to babies. Babies lead to hate.

 

[Mikey Jr.]

Wait, what DID that slavery entail?

 

[Servizio]

But at least you're free now. Because of that podrace and that bet. How did that work again?

 

[justjohn]

My name is Anakin.

My mom is a Slave on Tatooine. We live together in a large, well-built house on a normal street. It has a workshop, several bedrooms and a nice dining room. We have our own protocol droid, fluent in millions of dialects - and able to perform most of our household chores.

This gives me time to work on my huge anti-gravity Pod Racer. I can drive this and win vast amounts of prizemoney which I am allowed to keep and take home. I often do this after eating the plentiful foods and fruit in my house.

I am not sure who she is a slave to, or what that slavery entails.

My mom is relaxing with a drink. She is also mildly prescient and thinks it's a good idea for me to drive two turbine reactors at hundreds of miles an hour through deadend canyons.

Because my mom is a slave.

 

[Stinkles]

I was freed and left my mom and joined the Jedi order. Then I took 10 fucking years or so to go back and see my mom again.

That seems cruel and forgetful on an impossibly grave magnitude.

 

[backflip10019]

You drunk again Frank?

 

[Stinkles]

Wait, what DID that slavery entail?

I don't know. She is at home a lot and we appear to have loads of food and money. I have never seen her do a lick of work. But she is definitely a slave.

 

[Tworak]

so this isn't a hentai dump? too bad

 

[DonMigs85]

You have brought hope to those who have none

 

[Artanisix]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxKtZmQgxrI

Everyone should watch this Phantom Menace review.

 

[Meadows]

Haha, never really thought of it like that

 

[Variable]

I thought this was going to be about Dubai.

 

[Mama Robotnik]

He had ten years to rescue her, TEN DAMN years.

My Star Wars is:

Knights of the Old Republic
Knights of the Old Repiblic 2: The Sith Lords
A New Hope
TIE Fighter
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Heir to the Empire
Dark Force Rising
The Last Command.

Because they're not shit, they're not stupid, they don't ignore logic, and they don't shit all over everything that came before. God christ I hate the prequel trilogy, nothing good came from them

 

[Lebron]

I have never seen her do a lick of work. But she is definitely a slave.

maybe she only does her "work" when you are asleep?

 

[ZoddGutts]

I was freed and left my mom and joined the Jedi order. Then I took 10 fucking years or so to go back and see my mom again.

Was your mom rape by the sand people when she was captured by them? Always wonder about that...

 

[Coins]

I thought this was going to be about Dubai.

Little known fact, Star Wars was about Dubai.

 

[Stahsky]

I don't know. She is at home a lot and we appear to have loads of food and money. I have never seen her do a lick of work. But she is definitely a slave.

 

[Stinkles]

He had ten years to rescue her, TEN DAMN years.

My Star Wars is:

Knights of the Old Republic
Knights of the Old Repiblic 2: The Sith Lords
A New Hope
TIE Fighter
Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Heir to the Empire
Dark Force Rising
The Last Command.

Because they're not shit, they're not stupid, they don't ignore logic, and they don't shit all over everything that came before. God christ I hate the prequel trilogy, nothing good came from them

This started because I flipped channels to spike, precisely in time to see CHILD ACTOR HAIR jump off a landspeeder and shout "YIPEE!" and I am tired of people defending this a a kid's movie. Because it's a super awful kid's movie.

The only good part in the film gets chopped in half at the end. EVEN THOUGH HE HAS THE FUCKING HIGH GROUND TO END ALL HIGH GROUNDS.

 

[Medalion]

Watto was awesome yo

 

[Lebron]

God christ I hate the prequel trilogy, nothing good came from them

Darth Maul with the woosh woosh was cool.


He also had horns.

 

[Always-honest]

I don't have a dad. I was conceived by no event whatsoever. My mom, who is a slave, can't explain it.

well, i can.. but i'm not sure you want to hear the truth about your mother.
can't tell you who your father is though... not after the the big 500 event..

 

[SCULLIBUNDO]

The way I saw it was that the inhabitants of the SW universe are just plain LAZY.

As I understand it, Shmi and Anakin have to work a bit during the day to make a decent living. Its called a JOB. Only Shmi is of the super-lazy, can't do any labour until Charlie brings home the Golden ticket to the chocolate factory breed, so instead sends the boy to do all the chores.

 

[RedShift]

At the end of the movie why didn't Padme give him some money to buy his mum back? Fucking bitch.

 

[Medalion]

Shmi got knocked up with force by The Force

At the end of the movie why didn't Padme give him some money to buy his mum back? Fucking bitch.

Republic Credits don't mean shit on Tatooine.

 

[DonMigs85]

My name is Anakin.

My mom is a Slave on Tatooine. We live together in a large, well-built house on a normal street. It has a workshop, several bedrooms and a nice dining room. We have our own protocol droid, fluent in millions of dialects - and able to perform most of our household chores.

This gives me time to work on my huge anti-gravity Pod Racer. I can drive this and win vast amounts of prizemoney which I am allowed to keep and take home. I often do this after eating the plentiful foods and fruit in my house.

I am not sure who she is a slave to, or what that slavery entails.

My mom is relaxing with a drink. She is also mildly prescient and thinks it's a good idea for me to drive two turbine reactors at hundreds of miles an hour through deadend canyons.

Because my mom is a slave.

The Visual Dictionary for Episode 1 does clear up a number of things:
1. C-3P0 and the podracer were built from junk secretly salvaged from Watto's junkyard and other places.
2. Watto won a bet against Gardulla the Hutt and got Shmi and Anakin as his reward. He is fairer than most masters and Shmi also earns extra money for other odd jobs.

 

[DrForester]

 

[Stinkles]

The Visual Dictionary for Episode 1 does clear up a number of things:
1. C-3P0 and the podracer were built from junk secretly salvaged from Watto's junkyard and other places.
2. Watto won a bet against Gardulla the Hutt and got Shmi and Anakin as his reward. He is fairer than most masters and Shmi also earns extra money for other odd jobs.

1. Why would he build a Protocol Droid, a device designed for diplomacy and court functions, instead of say, a DE-SLAVERBOT. Or like, a chefbot?

 

[HeySeuss]

My Jedi master, whom I am infinitely more powerful than, has went on a mission to find a Bounty Hunter to a planet that he has never been to and that Jedi records say does not even exist. Amazingly, he arrived at the planet and found exactly what he was looking for in the first place he looked. I am still more powerful than he is though.

I have remained with Senator Padme, whom I have uncomfortably and awkwardly made advances to, that I think she might actually fall for against her better judgement. And I have put her and my mission to protect her by going back to my own home planet to find my mom, who is a slave I'm sure, only to find she has been sold to another person to do whatever medial task he needs, what that is though, I am not certain.

 

[StoOgE]

At the end of the movie why didn't Padme give him some money to buy his mum back? Fucking bitch.

His aunt and uncle owned a large farm. Why the fuck didn't they free their nephew and sister.

 

[RedShift]

1. Why would he build a Protocol Droid, a device designed for diplomacy and court functions, instead of say, a DE-SLAVERBOT. Or like, a chefbot?

He could build a robot to help his mum do all that hard slave work she doesn't do.

 

[Barberetti]

I don't have a dad. I was conceived by no event whatsoever. My mom, who is a slave, can't explain it.

She's obviously bullshitting. She's a prostitute, and Watto is her pimp. Anakin is the son of one of her customers. A night in Mos Eisley gone wrong.

 

[Siebzehn50]

This started because I flipped channels to spike, precisely in time to see CHILD ACTOR HAIR jump off a landspeeder and shout "YIPEE!" and I am tired of people defending this a a kid's movie. Because it's a super awful kid's movie.

The only good part in the film gets chopped in half at the end. EVEN THOUGH HE HAS THE FUCKING HIGH GROUND TO END ALL HIGH GROUNDS.

Thank you! When he started blathering about the high ground in Episode III I almost punched my TV. Christ, now I'm angry. Off to go watch some RedLetterMedia review to make me feel better

 

[Medalion]

Thank you! When he started blathering about the high ground in Episode III I almost punched my TV. Christ, now I'm angry. Off to go watch some RedLetterMedia review to make me feel better

was a decoy

 

[StoOgE]

She's obviously bullshitting. She's a prostitute, and Watto is her pimp. Anakin is the son of one of her customers. A night in Mos Eisley gone wrong.

now we're cooking. Maybe there is a really good story in all three prequels, but Lucas had to hide it from the audience to keep his PG rating.

 

[Combichristoffersen]

Ant then your mom got scared and said 'you're moving with that fella with the beard'

 

[Siebzehn50]

was a decoy

Really the only thing that is good about that movie is that it has Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley in it.

 

[Lebron]

Don't forget that your teacher is a liar who claimed he was trained by Yoda but in reality was trained by some bum named Qui-Gon. And no, Jedi Temple training does not count!