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[Deku]

I have a problem, well, not really a problem but a question.

I recently met an interesting person who is a korean exchange student. I'd like to become good friends with this person, but I'm worried a bit regarding the issue of nationality, given I'm ethnic Japanese and the recent news regarding Japan has been viewed very negatively especially in China and Korea.

I'm worried that the potential friend might get turned off by his paranoia, stereotype, bigotry when we talk more and it comes out that I'm Japanese. My particular problem is that we became acquainted on an international forum, and since I was from Canada, it is probably assumes I'm just Chinese, or maybe even Korean, as it probably isn't a big stereotype to assume someone from Vancouver is Japanese.

I understand that a common response is likely that if the other person can't be open minded and accept me as an individual rather than a stereotype, then he's probably not worth having as a friend. I suppose part of me just doesn't want to deal with being turned down, regardless of its a potential friend (in this case) or a girlfirend.

I'm wondering what strategies would be good to introduce this information without seeming forceful. Anyone have similar experiences before?

 

[Escape Goat]

Its a non issue. If/when she finds out and has issue thats her beef. and if he rejects you because of your heritage then hes not someone you want to be friends with anyways. Seems you're only worried because you were hoping for her to be a candidate for girlfriendism

 

[FightyF]

...if the other person can't be open minded...

Then you'd make for some good friends!

 

[Bluecondor]

I think you have to put this issue on the table.

If you can bring up the fact that you are Japanese the next time you talk/meet, and then you, yourself, are willing and able to deal with the fact that this person may have some strong anti-Japanese opinions at first, then there is no reason why you can't work through this and have a strong friendship.

Case-in-point, I went to Catholic School for twelve years. While I was there, we were basically indoctrinated in the idea that homosexuality was a sin, and that gay people prey on straight people and all of that nonsense. There is no question that I had these ideas in my mind when I first met openly gay people in college and in my twenties.

But - luckily - I met a few openly gay people who were really cool, and then - as a result of our interactions - I realized that my stereotypes were wrong and inhibiting. I can still remember realizing simple things taht are common-sense to me now, like that gay guys typically have little or no interest in "converting" straight guys (or like my one friend pointed out to me - "I'm sure you believe that - when you walk into a gay bar, dudes are just falling over themselves to get you."); and I remember how shocked I was when I first met lesbians who didn't fall into the "butch" stereotype that we always talked about in Catholic School (and - later on - how this 'butch stereotype" doesn't even come close to capturing women who appear "butch"), and so on.

So - there is no reason why you can't have a similar effect on your potential friend, especially if you do end up becoming friends. Hell - you will probably make one another better people as a result.

Go for it man! Good luck!