Escape Goat
Member
Come on guys, I need some new jokes. Lets hear 'em!
New Joke Thread: Make with teh funny
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mjq jazz bar
Banned
Why did Julia Roberts rub shit on her pussy?
Because she was horny.
Because she was horny.
Ned Flanders
Banned
Upon retelling this joke I was informed that it was old as the setting sun, but I just heard it for the first time ever a month ago and would routinely laugh out loud at random moments when thinkning about it. So, old or not, here goes:
Looking for his friend, a man sticks his head in the door of a barber shop and asks the barber:
"Bob Peters here?"
"No", replied the barber, "but we do cut hair".
Looking for his friend, a man sticks his head in the door of a barber shop and asks the barber:
"Bob Peters here?"
"No", replied the barber, "but we do cut hair".
heavy liquid
Member
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
-She was throwing away all the W's.
It's all I've got. It's late.
-She was throwing away all the W's.
It's all I've got. It's late.
Ned Flanders
Banned
"Bob Peters" is his friends name. But the phrase "bob peters" can also mean "suck dicks". So the question has a dual meaning of "Is my friend here?" and "Do you suck dicks here?". The barber, in reply to the second question (when in fact the man intended it as the first question) responded that he doesn't suck dicks but that he will give you a haircut.
fennec fox
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Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
He did okay until his business fell off.
fennec fox
ferrets ferrets ferrets ferrets FERRETS!!!
The funny's two posts up from this one, of course.
Ned Flanders
Banned
The funny is in the dual meaning. Just like Seymour Butts or Craven Moorehead etc. But whatever funny there was is completely and totally diminished now.
fennec fox
ferrets ferrets ferrets ferrets FERRETS!!!
Outlaw said:
"That is Philips. You should be ashamed of yourself."
fennec fox
ferrets ferrets ferrets ferrets FERRETS!!!
OK, here's the worst joke I know. It's so offensive that I must spoiler it
Why was there only one black crewmember on the Challenger?
Because they didn't know it was going to blow up!!!
MrPing1000
Member
A young boy called Neil Dunn goes out into the world to make his fortune.
After many weeks of no letters or anything, his mother becomes extremely worried so hires a private detective to find him.
The private detective searches far and wide, and finds himself in a public toilet. He notices one of the cubicals is in use. He goes over and says
"Neilly Dunn?"
and the person inside replies
"Yes but theres no paper"
and the detective says
"Well thats no excuse to not write to your mother"
After many weeks of no letters or anything, his mother becomes extremely worried so hires a private detective to find him.
The private detective searches far and wide, and finds himself in a public toilet. He notices one of the cubicals is in use. He goes over and says
"Neilly Dunn?"
and the person inside replies
"Yes but theres no paper"
and the detective says
"Well thats no excuse to not write to your mother"
Mama Smurf
My penis is still intact.
Ferrio said:
Hahaha
Felidae_Khrall
Member
What's the difference between a Blonde, and a coke machine?
With a coke machine you only get one pop for a buck.
With a coke machine you only get one pop for a buck.
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