A Brief History of Nintendo
135 years ago, a man by the name of Kazume Kiryu founded a series of love hotels to pay off an expensive alcohol addiction he had. His most popular room was the Princess' Peach in which a customer would roleplay a samurai warrior destined to save a beautiful princess from the Chinese Triad gang known as the Koopa Troops. Mr. Kiryu noticed most people liked the idea of play as a character and getting some, so he began producing and selling some Yu-Gi-Oh type playing cards called Pocket Sirens.
Pocket Sirens was a collectable card game with half naked women dressed as bugs. Players would battle the cards, winner taking the losers deck. This caused a huge issue with the local law offices due to fist fights and gambling, forcing investigations into the Nintendo business. Luckily, the police chief loved saving the princess as the love hotel and had a lot of compromising footage of him being unfaithful to his wife. So all investigations ceased pretty much upon arrival.
Around 1930, when the Japanese were deciding to join the Axis, Kiryu became helping by publishing erotic literature of a character named Mario, an Italian everyday man who worked in plumbing. This was to help the fascists regime in Italy by making Mario look like if you were a fascist, you'd score lots of coin and peach.
Unfortunately for Kiryu, his love hotel caught on fire with him in it in 1945 and he passed away just days before his birthday.
The company has established a strong following and wanted to branch out more so President Majima began selling vacuums filled with sex dolls to the Americas, which was very successful with the Italians of America in particular. This was due in part to their support with Mario as an erotic piece of literature and the once established love hotels.
By 1965, President Majima had sold off all the vacuums he wanted and decided to tap into the world of electronics. He had an idea to make audiobooks, but was shot down by several companies as "defeating the purpose of books". In 1973, President Majima began producing sex dolls that you could plug an 8 track (imagine MP3s but only 8 tracks) into it and it would read you the audiobook. The best books were college books so young adults could party and still study. With this business booming, President Majima couldn't wait for another decade to pass by to see where else the technology world would lead him.
Sadly, he died in 1979 and never saw the 80s. The next person to run Nintendo isn't well documented, but they had the idea to venture into video games making a King Kong rip off called Donkey Kong. The original game was about inner earth conspiracy, much like the Kong series, but several testers felt the arcade game didn't work with several episodes of Mr Mythos playing before you could find Kong. Instead, they stole more of what King Kong ended with and he him on a tower where a familiar character was brought in as the playable character. Yes, they brought back our old fascist sexaholic fiend, Mario! But this was the 80s and things were more clean cut with less degenerate living so he was rebranded as a guy that jumped. This was primarily due to the guy running things loving the NBA so much.
Eventually Nintendo put out the Nintendo Entertainment System and Mario became a household name among the nuclear family, all thanks to a mission to bring the world of debauchery to every woman's husband.
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