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NYT: Just Use the China or Call 1-800-Got-Junk: Readers on Inheriting Keepsakes
- Thread starter Dalek
- Start date
Ugh this is really relevant to me. My mom is a bit of a hoarder to the point where you had to turn sideways to walk down hallways because of boxes of shit. I finally convinced her to let me trash some of it and a dumpster rental and 7 suburbans full of good will deliveries I got her house into a livable state. Now it is just filling up again
I know exactly what you are talking about as I have just done the exact same thing except replace the suburban with a keep. I cleaned out a garage and two bedrooms that you literally could not even get into. I fear that as soon as I leave it will start going back to the way it was. I found somewhere around two dozen non functioning flash lights and at least a dozen old land line telephones. Why would anyone keep crap like that?
I used it a few week ago to empty out the contents of an old shed, the remains of said shed, and some old furniture in the basement. The service was pretty much as described in the commercial: I called late afternoon, they arrived the next morning around 8am, I pointed to what I wanted taken, they were going with all the stuff by 8:45am. The only caveat is they're expensive. The base price is around $150 IIRC that grows based on how full the truck gets. I wound up nearly filling the truck which cost me about $750. But for getting rid of stuff ASAP, they worked out great.
SliceSabre
Banned
The latter.
RumblingRosco
Member
When I was a kid, my grandfather passed away and my parents were left responsible of emptying, cleaning, and selling his home. The house was a massive hoarder-filled home with one entire room literally stacked wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling with old hardcover books. Thousands of records, books, newspapers, magazines throughout the house. Furniture, clothing, just insane amounts of stuff that had been accumulated over 70 years of living there. I spent two years of my childhood driving 3 hours one-way with my family multiple weekends per month to help empty the house out. I was around 8-10 years old at the time, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I realized it was actually traumatizing on some level.
Now, I'm in my late 20s, and my parent's home is exactly like my grandfather's. Room after room full of shit they don't use. My childhood bedroom is an unwalkable storage room. They had a mother-in-law suite (bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, livingroom) built when my grandmother moved in with us; after she passed away, it became full of stuff. We don't go to that side of the house anymore because it isn't really possible to walk through it save for a few steps in the front entrance.
The writing is on the wall that when my parent's pass away, I'll have to deal with that mess. I'll possibly have a kid or two by then. I've told my wife already that I won't do it. I refuse to put my wife or my future kids through the mess that is emptying out a hoarder-filled house of a loved one's possessions. I've said it a thousand times already to my wife, but I won't spend more than 24 hours in that house when they pass away. I will grab a few small keepsakes that have some sentimental value, and then I'll hire a clean-up crew to donate, destroy, or sell the 99.9% of stuff that's remaining. I'll burn or bulldoze the house if I have to.
What I'm saying is, I can relate to a lot of the feelings and ideas expressed in this article.
Now, I'm in my late 20s, and my parent's home is exactly like my grandfather's. Room after room full of shit they don't use. My childhood bedroom is an unwalkable storage room. They had a mother-in-law suite (bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, livingroom) built when my grandmother moved in with us; after she passed away, it became full of stuff. We don't go to that side of the house anymore because it isn't really possible to walk through it save for a few steps in the front entrance.
The writing is on the wall that when my parent's pass away, I'll have to deal with that mess. I'll possibly have a kid or two by then. I've told my wife already that I won't do it. I refuse to put my wife or my future kids through the mess that is emptying out a hoarder-filled house of a loved one's possessions. I've said it a thousand times already to my wife, but I won't spend more than 24 hours in that house when they pass away. I will grab a few small keepsakes that have some sentimental value, and then I'll hire a clean-up crew to donate, destroy, or sell the 99.9% of stuff that's remaining. I'll burn or bulldoze the house if I have to.
What I'm saying is, I can relate to a lot of the feelings and ideas expressed in this article.
Antiwhippy
the holder of the trombone
I thought the thread title was about sending stuff away to china.
lunchtoast
Member
Only my grandma on my mom's side remains and she lives in a small single in a retirement community so no junk there. I don't think my parents have anything important to pass down. There are photo albums but that can all be digitized, and I think my brother has more interest in that stuff.
No interest in junk and heavy ass furniture.
No interest in junk and heavy ass furniture.
The only problem is, will there still be a market for old video games when you pass on?
The Guardian wrote this article on falling Elvis collectible prices: https://www.theguardian.com/music/s...elvis-presley-memorabilia-plummeting-in-price
Elvis memorabilia collectors are dying of old age and flooding the market with their stuff. There aren't enough new collectors to make up the difference. I could totally see in 30-40 years from now, retro video game collecting declining as generations of people who have no connection to NES-PS4 systems or maybe even physical media come of age.
Rockandrollclown
lookwhatyou'vedone
I wish my family had nice stuff to pass down. I'll take old ass high quality furniture all day long. I typically abstain in grabbing anything when relatives die. The whole thing on calling dibs on their shit seems ghoulish to me. Hell, when my grandpa died, and he was not even like upper middle class. All my relatives had already called dibs on his stuff. That bothers me.
That's just what that generation did. They treated every purchase as a lifetime one. Never know when someone might come along who needs a phone or knows how to fix one. Cheaper to keep it than buy a new one later. Some of them grew up saving things for the war effort and then passed that along to their children.
This is also why they get so irritated when they find that newer stuff isn't designed to last forever.
My wife's grandpa died with a basement full of
non-perishable food items and itemized reciepts for all of them. He marked down how much he paid for everything and how much he saved over the regular price. It went beyond hoarding.
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
Its going to be rough for me because the stuff my parents accumulate tend to be books and really nice and/or cool furniture. I'm not going to want to get rid of that shit
Oh. I was going to say send it to me but nevermind.
Can't you save a scan version of the books on your computer and get rid of the physical ones?
MetroidPrimeRib
Banned
China plates have to be the biggest hustle of all time. Buy a bunch of these cheap mass produced plates and bowls that are sold as being fancy you can never use.
entremet
Member
Yep. I can see this happening.
Hickbilly Deluxe
Banned
The problem is that everyone assumes that, then people like my buddy toss out 200 year old China sets because of it. He seriously cried when he found out it was worth a decent amount and it was all buried in the dump.
Long short of it, be careful what you throw out. 98% of it will be worthless, but that 2% is money in your pocket.
Azure Dream
Member
It's already hard to get rid of non-special PS2 and PS3 era games, even in new sealed condition.
entremet
Member
It's just generational turnover. After a while, people won't care about collecting NES/SNES etc. Especially at their current prices.
I H8 Memes
Member
This is why antique shows are so popular with seniors. If the things of your generation arent worth anything anymore then what are you worth?
I've been having to deal with this very recently. My Grandparents recently passed away and my Mom already has a hard time letting go of things (As do I). Fortunately, my parents just built a new house with a large basement to store everything, but they keep asking me to take all of my things to my house (which is insanely small). After their last visit, they stopped asking me to take my stuff from their house as they now know I have absolutely no room.
The other instance is my Dad just had a brush with death (which now he is 110% better and healthier than he was in years), but now he is this "I need to make sure I split my stuff to my sons. He is even now cleaning all his old records to pass on to me and my brother. While I appreciate the thought, when he talks about it, I get very unsettled since I don't really want to think about life without my parents (they are in their early 60's). I'll worry about that 25 years from now!!
Ok-- this post probably makes no sense what so ever. Sorry for the rambles.
The other instance is my Dad just had a brush with death (which now he is 110% better and healthier than he was in years), but now he is this "I need to make sure I split my stuff to my sons. He is even now cleaning all his old records to pass on to me and my brother. While I appreciate the thought, when he talks about it, I get very unsettled since I don't really want to think about life without my parents (they are in their early 60's). I'll worry about that 25 years from now!!
Ok-- this post probably makes no sense what so ever. Sorry for the rambles.
Been experiencing this first hand.
When my grandpa died last year my family wanted to sell their house they lived in for 40 years. There was all kinds of stuff I would've loved to keep in the family, but I just didn't have room for it. I would've had to rent a storage unit to store it.
Same goes for my parents. They have a few massive pieces of furniture there is no way I can take. Sorry I just don't have room for that massive china cabinet and big solid oak bedroom set. The stuff that I could fit like lamps and paintings don't match the aesthetic of my house at all.
When my grandpa died last year my family wanted to sell their house they lived in for 40 years. There was all kinds of stuff I would've loved to keep in the family, but I just didn't have room for it. I would've had to rent a storage unit to store it.
Same goes for my parents. They have a few massive pieces of furniture there is no way I can take. Sorry I just don't have room for that massive china cabinet and big solid oak bedroom set. The stuff that I could fit like lamps and paintings don't match the aesthetic of my house at all.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
I suppose it's nice to have heirlooms, but honestly most of it is just junk, and has always been junk.
There's one thing I bothered to keep though, and that is a WWI memorial box. It's a good reminder that both World Wars are still only a single centennial lifetime away from today. I doubt it has any real value to a museum though, since these things must be fairly common.
There's one thing I bothered to keep though, and that is a WWI memorial box. It's a good reminder that both World Wars are still only a single centennial lifetime away from today. I doubt it has any real value to a museum though, since these things must be fairly common.
1Interesting article and something I've been thinking about a lot with my parents in their late 60's now. They are divorced and both used to live in huge-ass houses, my dad still does. My mom recently moved into a much smaller house, which basically forced her to clean up the two (!) attics she had and the shed and basement. She's no hoarder, but she has a small library of books.. I honestely don't know what we'll do with it when she passes on. Some I'll probably keep for sentimental value, but most of them I have zero attachment. But I'd also feel bad if it just ends up in the trash. So yeah, there's a dilemma.
My dad is an entirely different case. He pretty much is a enthousiastic supporter of the (completely unrealistic though) plan to just burn his place down when he's gone. We're joking around we'll give him a viking send-off, boat in the water with flaming arrow and all. Could actually do it, seeing he lives right next to a river. Thing is, he has like a gazillion tools and practical shit, but not much of anything else. Makes it a little easier, he doesn't care much for material shit and absolutely gives zero fucks about what happens to his stuff.
Also recognizable how they are of a generation that valued having loads of books (intellectual academic hippie libruls kinda types) and I actively try to avoid accumulating huge physical collections. Everything digital baby and selling consoles when I don't use them anymore. I like my house inventory minimalist and lean.
My dad is an entirely different case. He pretty much is a enthousiastic supporter of the (completely unrealistic though) plan to just burn his place down when he's gone. We're joking around we'll give him a viking send-off, boat in the water with flaming arrow and all. Could actually do it, seeing he lives right next to a river
. Thing is, he has like a gazillion tools and practical shit, but not much of anything else. Makes it a little easier, he doesn't care much for material shit and absolutely gives zero fucks about what happens to his stuff.Also recognizable how they are of a generation that valued having loads of books (intellectual academic hippie libruls kinda types) and I actively try to avoid accumulating huge physical collections. Everything digital baby and selling consoles when I don't use them anymore. I like my house inventory minimalist and lean.
Sectorseven
Member
Reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Marge tried to sell her grandmother's civil war figure and it turned out to be a liquor bottle from the 70s.
crisdecuba
Member
I'm not entirely sure that it has to be such an awkward or difficult conversation. My family doesn't have much accumulated, but the approach that makes sense to me is that I will go through the belongings with my mom and we will get rid of any items that she doesn't have sentimental value for, and then after she passes I will keep the items that have sentimental value for me, I will give friends and family any items that they may find useful, I will donate anything that remains that is still usable, I will recycle whatever can be recycled, and the rest I'll throw away.
The Greek Freak
Member
Yup if it's sentimental and cool and can a fit in one box? I'm game.
My dads dads dads dads grandfather clock that is ugly as hell? Sell or trash, no room or use for it.
NealMcCauley
Member
Both sides of my family are strong antiquers so yeah I can relate. Cleaning out my grandmother's (mom's mom) house back in 2004 was a nightmare. My mom's more manageable and is already planning an auction in the next year.
My dad just took old audio equipment from my grandfather (his dad) that I may keep. I know there's a reel to reel deck that's always interested me.
My dad just took old audio equipment from my grandfather (his dad) that I may keep. I know there's a reel to reel deck that's always interested me.
D
Deleted member 20415
Unconfirmed Member
Definitely have started to have this conversation with my parents... luckily, they are in the process of downsizing, and understand that they can't take all their junk to their new house - so they are throwing out or selling a large number of it.
I have 2 sisters, and we are all in agreement, that we want none of it... and my parents have some nice stuff.
I think my older sister will get some furniture since she has a house, but my 1 BR apartment can't take it... and I don't really want it. I just want a copy of the photos and videos.
I have 2 sisters, and we are all in agreement, that we want none of it... and my parents have some nice stuff.
I think my older sister will get some furniture since she has a house, but my 1 BR apartment can't take it... and I don't really want it. I just want a copy of the photos and videos.
Cipher Peon
Banned
Found this to be a very fascinating article.
I'm more similar to my mom in that I'm extremely materialistic and I love the accumulation of stuff. Anything free/cheap that I can just place anywhere and I'm game.
But the furnishings that she finds sentimental and cultural don't speak to me at all. I also place no value on generational "passing down" stuff. But I don't find that an awkward conversation at all, just a "no thanks" and that's that. My father tried to pass down a generational necklace and that's how that conversation went.
I'm more similar to my mom in that I'm extremely materialistic and I love the accumulation of stuff. Anything free/cheap that I can just place anywhere and I'm game.
But the furnishings that she finds sentimental and cultural don't speak to me at all. I also place no value on generational "passing down" stuff. But I don't find that an awkward conversation at all, just a "no thanks" and that's that. My father tried to pass down a generational necklace and that's how that conversation went.
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