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Off the phone with Uwe Boll...

P

Patrick Klepek

furiously molesting tim burton
...after spending an hour with him, he's actually a really nice, weirdly interesting guy, and you guys better get used to him making 1-2 videogames movies every year. The Boll invasion is not about to stop anytime soon. :)

That's all I'll say! Huge feature/interview on the man, the myth, the legend coming soon...
 
You know, I actually don't know what I would do if Uwe Boll wasn't making movies anymore. I vow to see each and everyone in the theaters. After a couple weeks. Early bird matinee price. Alone in the theater with a friend or two. Making fun of it MST3K style.
 
you just talked to the man himself....

wow.....

UWE_ROCK.jpg
 
# Far Cry (2006) (announced)
# Fear Effect (2006) (announced)
# Hunter: The Reckoning (2006) (announced)
# Night Claws (2005) (announced)
# Dungeon Siege (2006) (filming)
# Bloodrayne (2005) (post-production)

# Alone in the Dark (2005)
# House of the Dead (2003)

he sure selects the best games to make movies of :lol

...maybe thats a good thing though. i dont want him touching anything good.
 
Did you break out laughing at any time during the interview when he pretended as if he was a compotent director? You guys never know he might end up like Ed Wood where he's so damn bad that 10 years from now they will hold him as a B movie god.
 
Mooreberg said:
Since he's doing dungeon seige can we consider him a lock for the Halo movie? :lol
Click to expand...
God that would be hilarious. I'd go opening day just to watch a few hundred Halo fanboys heads exploding at once.

Either that or they'd pull a Phantom Menace and watch it 8-10 times in the theater before finally admitting it sucked.
 
Hey, if a Fear Effect movie helps resume work on FE3 (and hopefully get it released), then I'll go and watch it.
 
Shaheed79 said:
Did you break out laughing at any time during the interview...
Click to expand...

He was directing Dungeon Siege on location while he was talking to me. So, he'd be in the middle of answering a question when he'd have to stop, provide some 'direction' for a shot (sometimes even screaming CUUUUUUUUT into the phone) and then he'd get back to me. I was busting a gut laughing when he's be watching a scene, and all I could hear was various grunts and 'unghs' from the crew as they acted out a battle...
 
exxy has been boll'ed over...

eXxy said:
He was directing Dungeon Siege on location while he was talking to me. So, he'd be in the middle of answering a question when he'd have to stop, provide some 'direction' for a shot (sometimes even screaming CUUUUUUUUT into the phone) and then he'd get back to me. I was busting a gut laughing when he's be watching a scene, and all I could hear was various grunts and 'unghs' from the crew as they acted out a battle...
Click to expand...

glad to see he's giving it his full attention :lol
 
eXxy said:
He was directing Dungeon Siege on location while he was talking to me. So, he'd be in the middle of answering a question when he'd have to stop, provide some 'direction' for a shot (sometimes even screaming CUUUUUUUUT into the phone) and then he'd get back to me. I was busting a gut laughing when he's be watching a scene, and all I could hear was various grunts and 'unghs' from the crew as they acted out a battle...
Click to expand...

So......fuggin......awsome. :lol
 
eXxy said:
He was directing Dungeon Siege on location while he was talking to me. So, he'd be in the middle of answering a question when he'd have to stop, provide some 'direction' for a shot (sometimes even screaming CUUUUUUUUT into the phone) and then he'd get back to me. I was busting a gut laughing when he's be watching a scene, and all I could hear was various grunts and 'unghs' from the crew as they acted out a battle...
Click to expand...


HAHAHA!

That is by far the funniest thing I've read on GAF in a LONG time.
 
eXxy said:
He was directing Dungeon Siege on location while he was talking to me. So, he'd be in the middle of answering a question when he'd have to stop, provide some 'direction' for a shot (sometimes even screaming CUUUUUUUUT into the phone) and then he'd get back to me. I was busting a gut laughing when he's be watching a scene, and all I could hear was various grunts and 'unghs' from the crew as they acted out a battle...
Click to expand...


That is the definition of awesome.
 
eXxy said:
He was directing Dungeon Siege on location while he was talking to me. So, he'd be in the middle of answering a question when he'd have to stop, provide some 'direction' for a shot (sometimes even screaming CUUUUUUUUT into the phone) and then he'd get back to me. I was busting a gut laughing when he's be watching a scene, and all I could hear was various grunts and 'unghs' from the crew as they acted out a battle...
Click to expand...



:lol :lol Wtf
 
eXxy said:
...after spending an hour with him, he's actually a really nice, weirdly interesting guy, and you guys better get used to him making 1-2 videogames movies every year. The Boll invasion is not about to stop anytime soon. :)

That's all I'll say! Huge feature/interview on the man, the myth, the legend coming soon...
Click to expand...

Did you ask him what bet he won that he keeps getting the rights to these movies?
 
xsarien said:
Did you ask him what bet he won that he keeps getting the rights to these movies?
Click to expand...

It's a loophole in german tax law. All the money spent from German investors spent on movies gets a 50% return from the gov't irregardless of the films success or failure.
 
Being on the phone doing an interview in the middle of directing a scene...the mark of a true, good director...
 
Never heard of him. Well, maybe once.

After looking at that list, I will now strike him from my memory. He doesn't deserve to be known or recognized.
 
Schafer said:
It's a loophole in german tax law. All the money spent from German investors spent on movies gets a 50% return from the gov't irregardless of the films success or failure.
Click to expand...

Have we outlasted the statute of limitations on World War II?
 
I'm starting to get the feeling that this guy is our generation's William Castle, execept instead of gimmicks like seat buzzers and 13 ghosts, he uses video games.
 
Uwe's really making the interview rounds lately isn't he? I found this on the Alone in the Dark board at IMDb.com.

--------
daqwoo: Hello I have gotten Uwe Boll to take a break from his schedule and take questions from you fans out there. Uwe take it away!

Heelo me am Uwe Boll. Me am good picture maker. Ask I a question.
--------
--------
Dark Comet: I have a question. What planet do you come from that considers you brand of filmmaking to be anything above woefully inadequate? And WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!? That was the other one.
--------
--------
daqwoo: "I have a question. What planet do you come from that considers you brand of filmmaking to be anything above woefully inadequate? And WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!? That was the other one."

Me am a very good director. Me like ultra boom explosions that make movie xciting! Me am from this planet. Uwe is earthling like you. Uwe is no Saturnite. People say nice things for me films. Me am still alive because of vinegar and pie. Me live to make boom boom action films!



-Uwe Boll, professional director
--------

lol @ "professional director"
 
eXxy said:
...after spending an hour with him, he's actually a really nice
Click to expand...


"Richard was always nice and polite, the best neighbor i could have ever asked for. who knew he had the capacity to molest dozens of children!!!"
 
quadriplegicjon said:
:lol so the rumors of him being highly offended are most likely true!!
Click to expand...

I'm only not saying because I'm savin' it for the feature, not because I was sworn to secrecy.
 
Solid said:
# Far Cry (2006) (announced)
# Fear Effect (2006) (announced)
# Hunter: The Reckoning (2006) (announced)
# Night Claws (2005) (announced)
# Dungeon Siege (2006) (filming)
# Bloodrayne (2005) (post-production)

# Alone in the Dark (2005)
# House of the Dead (2003)

he sure selects the best games to make movies of :lol

...maybe thats a good thing though. i dont want him touching anything good.
Click to expand...

Hey now, I hate the guy as much as anyone, but let's not knock Fear Effect and House of the Dead, which both rule.

(I could care less how much FE: The Movie sucks -- the whole movie will basically be a lesbian porno and it might get FE3 back on track somehow, heh.)
 
I will buy Uwe lunch if he does a Zelda movie.

If he gets one of the Hanson brothers to star as Link, I would supersize the lunch.
 
Uwe Boll is a HERO. Cross-licensing IP over different media forms is a fucking abomination and caters to the lowest pavlovian responses in the mass market. Mr. Boll's godawful movies make this process an agonizing hell for the numbnuts who can't seem to separate the enjoyment they got from a video game from any other god damn crap with the same name plastered on it. I wish him all the success in the world in the hopes that one day human evolution will benefit, whether by painfully training people to avoid blatant cash-ins, or by killing off the retard audiences with widespread severe rectal hemhorraging during the opening weekend of Halo vs Predator.
 
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