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Official MLB Thread - 2006 Season

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evil solrac v3.0 said:
ooh perzonalized name plates
let's see...
berlac
barrlic
BORLAC!?!?
mommy, mommy buy me that..
no! come along, BORLAC!
i'm sorry where you talking to me?
no, my son's name is also BORLAC.

who the hell is borlac?
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IX-NAY ON EBOLRAC-EVIL-AY!!!!!
 
ooh, good one strangelove. you win this round. but remenber this, when mariano blows a save, it's just a blown save. when papelbon blows a save, it's a PAPELBOMB!!

IX-NAY ON EBOLRAC-EVIL-AY!!!!!
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IX-NAY ON FORUM-AY!!!

and on a lighter note, to prove that i can laugh at my own team.

Experts: 'Derek Jeter Probably Didn't Need To Jump To Throw That Guy Out'
August 3, 2006 | Onion Sports


BRISTOL, CT—Baseball experts agreed Sunday that Derek Jeter, who fielded a routine ground ball during a regular-season game in which the Yankees were leading by five runs and then threw it to first base using one of his signature leaps, did not have to do that to record the out. "If it had been a hard-hit grounder in the hole or even a slow dribbler he had to charge, that would've been one thing," analyst John Kruk said during a broadcast of Baseball Tonight. "But when it's hit right to him by [Devil Rays first-baseman] Greg Norton, a guy who has no stolen bases and is still suffering the effects of a hamstring injury sustained earlier this year… Well, that's a different story." Jeter threw out Norton by 15 feet and pumped his fist in celebration at the end of the play.
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:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
 
I feel like its 96 all over again this season. Maybe its just the buzz im feeling. But any yankee fans wanna werd me on that?
 
Jetes is the league leader in fist pumps. I believe he has led the league in this category in every season he's played.

I wonder if he ever hangs out with Alonzo Mourning or Joakim Noah?
 
pollo said:
I feel like its 96 all over again this season. Maybe its just the buzz im feeling. But any yankee fans wanna werd me on that?
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like i said, i dont wanna jinx anything but.... there may be some merit in what you say. this team just feels more togheter. the bullpen with farnsworth isnt as good (nowhere near) but the other people get the job done (see villone) let' see where we are at the end of this red sox series. if we are still in first place i'll have a good feeling.
 
Miguel said:
I saw Rip Hamilton jump on the field and fist pump behind Jeter.
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:lol :lol :lol

bagwellbeardoj6.jpg


nice avatar, dorkwad.
 
Dr. Strangelove said:
It feels more like 2001 to me. :(
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2001 was a shitty year for me (never mind i had to leave school 'cause of lack of funds and ****ing 9/11) i had no job and no girl and nothing and the yanks lost like they did.

**** it. MLB thread, i love you <3 I love all you guys. **** whatever happens in the worldd series, were a family <3
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yes we are, but you're still drunk as.... john kruk?
 
And with that, I just realized it's 1:22, and I have to wake up at 6:30 for work.

...at least it's my last day of the week, then Fri/Sat off woot.
 
Hey guys, I heard a rumor over on SOSH that Wade Boggs used to nail Suzyn Waldman.

He's a trooper. I wonder how many beers he had to drink to get into the mood for that?
 
:lol :lol :lol :lol i love you guys, let's never fight ever again. and one last onion article, wish eminem was here to read it.

Ozzie Guillen Fined $10,000 For What He Just Thought
August 10, 2006 | Onion Sports

CHICAGO—MLB disciplinary officials announced that Ozzie Guillen would be fined $10,000 and ordered to undergo sensitivity psychoanalysis for the "irresponsible, offensive, and completely unacceptable" thoughts that passed through the White Sox manager's mind during Wednesday night's game.

Enlarge Image

"During the fourth inning of yesterday's White Sox-Yankees contest, Mr. Guillen's mind conjured a series of insensitive, wildly inappropriate—I would even go so far as to say depraved—thoughts and images," said Bob Watson, MLB vice president of on-field discipline. "Baseball is a social institution with a responsibility to espouse proper values, and there is absolutely no excuse for anyone to entertain thoughts which portray people in a negative or demeaning light, regardless of their race, color, creed, culture, sexual orientation, gender, weight, or personal beliefs."

"Major League Baseball would like to offer its most profound, heartfelt apologies to those portrayed inappropriately in Mr. Guillen's mind, including African-Americans, Cuban-Americans, Caucasian-Americans, Dominican-Americans, 'immigrants,' the sportswriting community, the gay community, the White Sox fan community, the communities of Schaumburg, IL and New York City, the umpiring crew, Yankee right-fielder Bobby Abreu and his female relatives, members of the Peace Corps, and women—particularly the female fan seated in Section 32, Row B, Seat 7," Watson added.

Watson's report alleges that Guillen carelessly composed his thoughts without considering the fact that millions of fans would know exactly what he was thinking in the event that television cameras inevitably cut to a shot of his sour expression. And according to commissioner Bud Selig, the idea of remorse never crossed Guillen's mind.

"Ozzie's thoughts were in poor taste, and the sheer volume and scope of them—all of which occurred over a 17-second span of time—seem to indicate that they were premeditated," Selig said. "I also must strongly emphasize that our organization neither shares nor condones Mr. Guillen's views on statutory rape, regardless of whether or not they are ever vocalized."

Guillen's thoughts upon learning of his punishment earned him an additional $5,000 fine and a three-game suspension.

"I'm not going to change the way I think," Guillen said during an apology late Wednesday. "Anyone who knows me will tell you I can't control my thoughts."

"I acknowledge that the things that entered my mind today might have offended certain groups of people, but you have to realize I didn't mean anything by it," Guillen continued. "After all, my mother is dead, too, and I would never want anyone digging up her corpse and paying drunken, uh, Arabs to do those things to her. And as for people of Middle Eastern origin, I was only imagining those terms being used to refer to just one specific 'filthy raghead,' not a whole region of them."

"Also, I would never, ever do that kind of thing to a person in real life, even if I had a worn-down radial-saw blade and 100 milligrams of hydrogen cyanide at my disposal," Guillen added.

A recent poll indicates that 97 percent of baseball fans were offended by Guillen's thoughts, with an astounding 12 percent of those polled actually having been personally attacked, insulted, or killed within Guillen's inner tirade.

"Ozzie needs to remember that people have families… My 9-year-old daughter was watching at home, and even though she isn't old enough to understand what a 'tire-iron abortion' is, I'm sure she understood that what he was thinking was not nice," said Chicago resident and White Sox fan Brian McVeigh. "And this isn't the last time he'll be on TV. What will I have to explain to my daughter next time she sees Ozzie thinking? Bestiality? Knife rape? Auschwitz?"

Guillen, however, said that if he truly meant what he thought, he would just come out and say it.

"Am I going to have to explain everything I think from now on?" Guillen asked reporters. "Do I really need to tell you people that I don't actually want fuel truck after fuel truck to plow into an orphanage? That I don't really want to feed baby rats to [White Sox pitcher] Jon Garland so they chew their way through his intestinal system and expel themselves out his rectum in unison? That I actually love and respect my wife? Can't you people figure this out on your own? I'm not that bad a guy."

"****ing faggot assholes," Guillen added.
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Miguel said:
And with that, I just realized it's 1:22, and I have to wake up at 6:30 for work.

...at least it's my last day of the week, then Fri/Sat off woot.
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We've gotta work on a software release this week so I gotta be in at work at 9 pm est, but **** it Im still up.

And by saying that I've effectively ruined my NDA.

**** it. Baseball <3
 
Dr. Strangelove said:
Hey guys, I heard a rumor over on SOSH that Wade Boggs used to nail Suzyn Waldman.

He's a trooper. I wonder how many beers he had to drink to get into the mood for that?
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hmmm... i could see that. she loves the yanks but she is a new england gal. and boggs could imagine she's a piece of chicken.

And with that, I just realized it's 1:22, and I have to wake up at 6:30 for work.

...at least it's my last day of the week, then Fri/Sat off woot.
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just don't go to work. jesus do i have to think of everything!??!? try going to work with two hours sleep.
 
I think we should always designate someone who posts in this thread to post drunk. It's a fun way to spice things up.

This is the best sports thread on GA. It's like an AL East brotherhood, with some NL people thrown in (Much love to the Astro fans)
 
Fifty said:
I think we should always designate someone who posts in this thread to post drunk. It's a fun way to spice things up.

This is the best sports thread on GA. It's like an AL East brotherhood, with some NL people thrown in (Much love to the Astro fans)
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**** it i aint doing this shit ever again.

Im contemplating calling my boss right now and rubbing it in his face how he lost to the Royals :lol

But i dont want to be jobless this semester =((
 
Miguel said:
The Nosefather appreciates your love.
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IS MY ANDY OK?!?!?! and yes, we are the best sports topic by far. but those damn anti-baseballites treat us like second-class citizens. "bottom of the forum"!! hockey rules!!!
i have a dream..... that some day i'll type up a kick-ass speech that will inspire the masses to a great revolution where baseball is stickied year round.
 
Dr. Strangelove said:
I'll be drunk in this thread a whole lot more if the Sox are 6 games out by the end of next week.
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See, I wouldn't want that. Then baseball would just get a whole less fun if there isnt a race =/.
 
Dr. Strangelove said:
I want a race too, but I'm not so sure the Red Sox and Yankees do right now. Opposite directions...
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The Blue Jays had better do their part, with those two series against the Yanks at the end of the season.
 
vatstep said:
The Blue Jays had better do their part, with those two series against the Yanks at the end of the season.
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Yeah, they certainly whoop our asses enough.

Tell your boys to man up, Fifty! We need help!

Fifty said:
I can hook you up
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Give it a shot. The result may be terrifying...but it will no doubt be awesome as well.
 
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