The Secret of the Elitist Internet Nerd
There is a stereotypical view that people who use the Internet and play video games are pasty white nerds that sit hunched over their computer keyboards triumphantly hitting a submit button every five minutes in order to send an emotionally charged essay on why the upcoming PSP will suck donkey balls and that the Nintendo DS is the best thing since the invention of the Fleshlight (or vice versa) to a message board for other pasty white nerds to read and get angry about even though the message board is actually about lemonade stands and lemonade related discussion. This stereotype is pretty much true. 90 percent of all Internet forum communication is about why one form of entertainment is better than someone elses form of entertainment.
Dont kid yourselves. The Internet has nothing to do with spreading knowledge or learning new things in order to better our lives. More often than not its a dick waving contest to see who can be the most insane about video games, movies, or television shows. Do you like games designed by id software? Well, theres a guy out there who likes games designed by Valve software and hes living a lie! Its up to you to find that person and berate them into enjoying id software games because for all he knows he has no idea what kind of video games he likes!
Did you absolutely hate Doom 3? Theres a message board out there full of people discussing Doom 3 and how great it is and its up to you to find that message board and call everyone on it a faggot. Hey, last night I spent an hour on a message board dedicated to parrots telling everybody how much parrots suck ass and how much the people who post there suck ass and told them all to suck my fucking ass because I hate parrots and cockatiels are the fucking bomb. Dont look at me that way. I was just using the Internet for its intended purpose!
Youve all heard of the Halo series. I thought Halo was among the most popular games that were ever made but whenever I see Halo mentioned anywhere there are a ton of people who get all up in arms about it. I thought all video game nerds love Halo but I was wrong. In fact, nerds hate Halo! They hate it because the same people who kicked their asses in high school are now kicking their ass in a video game. Halo has introduced a ton of non-nerds, namely the loud college dorm types, to video games. Relatively normal people who dont spend 90 percent of their life extolling the virtues of their favorite Japanese RPG developer to anyone who would dare cross them are playing video games. For the first time ever, people with actual skin pigment are picking up a controller and shooting at stupid aliens made up of polygons, texture maps, and lies. The nerds feel threatened by it.
Nerds try to hide it. Whenever Halo is mentioned they say, Well, Halo is just a generic shooter and only morons play it and there are so many better shooters that I would never waste my time with such a generic and stupid game such as Halo! And then they pull out the latest Jap card battle game or angst-ridden jackass RPG. Saken Denatsu no Tsunaji Naga Waka 2 is art, and Halo is not! ONLY STUPID JOCKS PLAY HALO!!! How do you know you are dealing with one of these insane video game elitists? Simple, they refer to their favorite games as titles. You see, Japanese RPGs are not games, they are titles, as in, Final Fantasy X was the most brilliant title of last year and Halo was the worst game. Your entertainment is just entertainment but my entertainment is art!
I am sick and tired of art. Who cares if something is art? Thats no compliment. Film is an ARTFORM and television is just trash for the masses! Well, a guy shitting on the floor and taking a picture of it is also art.
Fuck these faggot fuck art movies and show me tits and ass. Show me heads exploding. Show me hilarious shit like a man getting hit in the groin with a football or a football getting hit by a mans groin. Fuck Punch Drunk Love. Id rather watch Billy Madison. Actually Id rather not watch either but if you put a gun to my head and told me you would rape my asshole if I didnt choose either movie within 5 seconds I would choose the option where you rape my asshole and shoot me in the head.
So these art nerd elitist video game fags think Japanese video games are more art than American games. Im not sure about that but they sure do like games that feature a lot of ten year olds in short skirts. Im talking about these games like Disgaea. I was looking at the ads for this game and they feature a girl who looks no more than 12 years old in a belly shirt. Yeah, thats art. No its more like, if we ever figured out whats actually on your computers hard drive, 25 to life. Look at La Pucelle Tactics. I imagine when they were designing the characters for this game the producer said to the artists, Okay I want them to look like eight year olds but with D cups. Im not saying that everyone who plays Japanese video games and watches anime is a pedophile but, okay I am saying that.
