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p_xavier
Authorized Fister
He's the one visiting.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
No. He'll come live with me for a month in January. We both were single for most of our lives, we connect emotionnally, physically and intellectually. We both never had that feeling so it's difficult to let it go.
Love is sort of made redundant if one of you spends 75% of the time in countries on the other side of the world.
nemiroff
Gold Member
True, it's not really moot per se, but it can feel like so when things are fresh. And that's why you need to make even more sure you don't make too many sacrifices and don't burn too many bridges in the process.
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I can sort of understand it being difficult to let go, but you really need to sit down and weigh up the pros and cons. He might be attractive and intelligent, but you’re hardly going to see him because of his work. You can’t realistically ask him to give it up, as you wouldn’t expect him to ask that of you. I’m not trying to shit on your parade, but things like this are very complicated, and you don’t want to go making sacrifices left, right, and centre only for everything to go tits up.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
I can get him a job as a FA here. I know, hence why it's so hard.
Speaking from experience.
The first thing you don't want to do is listen to other people telling you what to do. Only you and him know what youre relationship is like, and how solid it is/will be, how important this is, and how well you deal with distance.
I have two pieces of advice:
Every time you say goodbye, always have your next meeting planned. It's miuch easier to say bye when you know the very day you'll be together again.
And talk long term early. You don't want to let a year pass and still wonder if and when and where you'll ever live together.
The first thing you don't want to do is listen to other people telling you what to do. Only you and him know what youre relationship is like, and how solid it is/will be, how important this is, and how well you deal with distance.
I have two pieces of advice:
Every time you say goodbye, always have your next meeting planned. It's miuch easier to say bye when you know the very day you'll be together again.
And talk long term early. You don't want to let a year pass and still wonder if and when and where you'll ever live together.
nush
Gold Member
You're counting this "relationship" in days and getting ahead of yourself.
Flight attendants get hit on all the time, out of the country for long periods and there's a lot of infidelity in the gay community.
Hit it, quit it, but don't put a ring on it.
SidViscous
Member
Is posting the airplane into sunset meme still banned?
nush
Gold Member
Never was banned.
Punished Miku
Banned
Yep. Have fun. Dont get attached.
Go see New Zealand sometime for a couple months. Not many people can do that.
T8SC
Gold Member
AlteredForms
Banned
Surprised to hear about your homosexuality as I always assumed the "Authorised Fister" tag was relating to women. Turns out you were rooting for the other team lol. As most people have mentioned already, long distance relationships are extremely challenging for multiple reasons, I would only advise engaging in one if you're planning on eventually moving to New Zealand or him to Canada.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
Probably the most honest thing. I know that, but time is running out for me. I don't know how things will go in a year or two. I can't afford to wait anymore. I had talked to him about two years ago, we just reconnected.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
It's related to my garage-themed sling playroom as I have a sign that says authorized fister. I do lent out that room to straight couples whom I know and ask. I prefer straight porn but I can't just stand the damn women in real life except a few. If I want a bj, I don't want to deal with all of their bullshit. Most guys I play with are married men. Sure you might say that it doesn't give me good karma but I don't care anymore at this stage about their relationships.
He has 3 months off a year, which is the length he can stay in Canada without requiring a Visa. We can look into it. I have colleagues which had these sort of relationships and it took 2-3 years to be fully settled. Canada gives permanent residency after dating for a year and it takes a year to get after that. Thing is we both feel like it's a last chance at something better in love.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
Yeah, but the statu quo is having nothing. I lived with someone I liked for a month, in my whole life. I would like to have someone even if it's part time and if my health gets way worse. The worst feeling I have is when I had to prepare myself meals for post surgeries, because you know that nobody is willing or close by to pick you up from the hospital or take care of you when you need it. Thank god I had my pets at that stage of life for companionship.
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p_xavier
Authorized Fister
I'm not in a good mental state these days, I don't think I'll be able to manage a breakup if I invest myself and it turns out to nothing. And I got a big amount from my dad this week so it's like a mountain of fuck you money so I wouldn't have to even think about travelling costs.
AlteredForms
Banned
You’re pinning a lot on this whole relationship. Your happiness, financial stability and pretty much all your peace of mind it seems. Make sure he’s paying the same price before purchasing plane tickets to see this dude. Better yet, have him come up to Canada on his own paper to see he’s the real deal. Then take it from there.
nush
Gold Member
But you expect him to even if there's a chance you'll tap out early? Use that "Fuck you"money to hire home care/housekeeper and just go out and have fun while it lasts. Lst chance is settling and it will gnaw away at you from the inside eventually and bring resentment in some way.
godhandiscen
There are millions of whiny 5-year olds on Earth, and I AM THEIR KING.
I remember the days when I would "date" girls from out of the country. I met a super rich girl from Bahrain, and an insanely hot girl from Australia. In both cases we only met barely 1-2 times over the span of a few years and the online chemistry didn't translate to real life.
Toots
Gold Member
Enjoy the time you spend together, and take it slow. You need to discover more about that guy as even with the beautiful connexion you two had he’s still mostly a « stranger ». Don’t make any long term plan until you know him for at least 6 month, and that is only counting the time you spend together. I wish you the best 
Ps: don’t overthink it. Have fun!
Ps: don’t overthink it. Have fun!
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