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'Pearl Necklaces' Made From Semen Are TikTok's Hottest New Jewelry Trend

nush

Member
OIP-C.C1YtY8CzBoSEAwoOYiDVqgHaES
 

GeorgioCostanzaX

Gold Member
A catholic goes to confession he makes his way to the booth gets in sits down and says “forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been 2 years since my last confession.”

“Tell me my son” says the priest “what are your sins?”

“Father, since the last time we met I cheated on my wife, became an alcoholic and I’ve become addicted to TikTok”

“Pay it no mind” says the priest
“TikTok you say? Well I must confess to you TikTok has become quite popular in this parish too: why we’ve even started making our own jewelry and dance videos to boost mass attendance”

“Father thats great but seriously what is my penance?” Says the sinner.

“Oh it is easy my son I’m going to give you this pearl rosary from our parish store just say 300 hail Mary’s and all your sins will be forgiven…It’s the latest jewelry fad on TikTok and all the priests chipped in.”
 
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GeorgioCostanzaX

Gold Member
TikTok is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Next thing we will have ‘cum sandwich challenge’.

Arrested Development Flirt GIF
I'm pretty sure the logical next step at this point is the pregnancy by pearl challenge? *Note not recommended in Texas unless you want to spend the next 18 years supporting the outcome.


If there was a god and TikTokers had any class whatsoever someone would buy a set and create a viral dance trend with ZZ Top's Pearl Necklace as the soundtrack.
Hell give this guy a pearl necklace and make him famous again. I'd pay good money to watch this mother fucker in a horse mask on shrooms wearing these pearls.

 
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Hugare

Member
I imagine the chinese government watching this shit on TikTok and going "western people, man"

They must feel so validated about their hate for the west after seeing shit like this
 

GeorgioCostanzaX

Gold Member
I imagine the chinese government watching this shit on TikTok and going "western people, man"

They must feel so validated about their hate for the west after seeing shit like this


Meanwhile at Bytedance HQ in Beijing:

“Hey Wei get a load of this video some crazy person made pearls made of his own semen…it only has 10 views let’s blow this up and make it go viral: I can’t wait to see what the Americans do this time!”
 
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