property tax can vary depending on where you are- but wage tax will be higher if you live and work within the city, as opposed to just living outside of the city and commuting in. You'll likely have to do the math to see how much you'll ACTUALLY be paying in taxes- but keep in mind that as I said earlier in the thread that property tax rates across the entire state are in the process of being completely overhauled for the current budget year. Nothing you see currently is going to be correct re: property taxes in a couple of months.
as to your second point- in this area you're wasting your money on private school. The philly suburbs area is home to several very, very, VERY good public school systems:
Pittsburgh Business Journal regularly ranks PA's school districts (there are 500 of these) yearly.
http://www.bizjournals.com/pittsburgh/news/2015/04/10/chester-county-district-ranks-no-1-in-pennsylvania.html
in the immediate area, you have:
Chadds Ford-Unionville SD (chester county) at #1
Radnor School District (delaware county) at #2
Lower Merion SD (Montgomery) at #6
Tredyeffrin-Easttown SD (Chester County) at #7
Wallingford-Swarthmore SD (Delaware County) at #9
Rose Tree-Media SD (Delaware County) at #11
Central Bucks (Bucks County) at #12
on top of that, US news puts out a yearly ranking that shows you where these schools place nationally-
http://www.usnews.com/education/best-high-schools/pennsylvania/rankings?int=c0b4c1
That list is high schools only, but DOES include magnet and charter schools, and should give you an idea of how good the district is. These districts absolutely smoke any private school you can think of, without costing you 20K per year. Virtually no one that lives in these areas sends their kids to private schools for anything other than religious reasons.
As to your wife's concerns about public transportation, regional rail isn't the subway. it's just professionals going about their business in the morning and afternoons. I suggest taking it before writing it off.