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[Doth Togo]

http://student.cs.ucc.ie/~jcg1/page2.htm

- I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between "F" and "CK".
- Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
- I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
- I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
- If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
- Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
- If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
- Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
- Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
- Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?

- - - - -

Some of these are stupid as hell. Others make me laugh...

 

[Diablos]

The only thing that looks good on me...

IS YOU

 

[Manabanana]

Some of these are stupid as hell. Others make me laugh...

I only laughed at the pants one because it reminded me of Anchorman.

"Would you like to come to the pants party?"

 

[Doth Togo]

You smell wet. Let's party.

Nice.

 

[ToxicAdam]

Actually, a good move is to tell a girl "I'm going to use all my pickup lines on you". Then proceed with about 4 or 5 of them. If you can make her laugh, then you are halfway home.


My favorite was to stick my index finger in my drink, wipe a bit on her and a bit on me and say, "Lets go back to my place, and get out of these wet clothes."

 

[Zelda-Bitch]

Lines?! Pffft. I didn't have to speak a word when I give out Valentine cards like this:

 

[BlackSalad]

Lines?! Pffft. I didn't have to speak a word when I give out Valentine cards like this:

:lol :lol

 

[android]

Lines?! Pffft. I didn't have to speak a word when I give out Valentine cards like this:

:lol :lol What the Fuck. :lol :lol :lol

 

[darscot]

One I always like is
"Do you believe in love at first sight. or do you need me to walk by again?"

Another that is guaranteed to get a reaction but you need to have balls of steel to pull it off. You make a bet with the girl stating that you can magically make her breast move with out touching them. Bet her a drink or diner something like that. The beauty of this move is the women will then stick her breasts out and you will both be staring at them. Then simple reach out with your hand and move her breasts. Immediatly say you win and pay the bet.

 

[Zelda-Bitch]

laugh if you will, but the count gets me ladies everytime.

 

[AirBrian]

I always liked:

"If your ass was a Chinese restaurant, I'd have the Poo-poo Platter."

 

[Boomer]

Are you a farmer? Cause you can sure raise a cock.

 

[Liono]

Are you a farmer? Cause you can sure raise a cock.

best one yet.

 

[android]

"I got a penis."
Really a 50/50 shot woth that one

 

[Hooker]

"Hi, I'm [insert name here]"

 

[Hero]

This one has some prerequisites, but probably the ballsiest one ever.

If you see a hot girl and her friend talking at a bar or club or whatever, go up to the uglier one...smile, and go "Excuse me, do you like to dance?" And most girls would say yes, and if she does, proceed to say "That's great. How about you go and dance for a while so I can talk to your friend here?"

 

[Diablos]

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Hey, I never noticed how smooth the skin between your acne is.

I'm not the most attractive guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.

My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

 

[Kon Tiki]

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

You read Lonestar's AIM away msgs too?

 

[Diablos]

Nope, I got that from a google search.

 

[Doth Togo]

 

[jett]

Lines?! Pffft. I didn't have to speak a word when I give out Valentine cards like this:

:lol Best valentine card EVER.

 

[Spainkiller]

Don't move or I'll slash your face.

Want to have sex now, while it's consensual?

One that happened to me:

Me: Fancy a dance?

Bitch: No. I can't dance.

Me: Nor can I - my dancing engines are only running at 4% efficiency tonight

Bitch: Fuck off.

Me: Fuck you too, you sour-faced miserable little cunt.

And one that I want to do:

Walk up to a girl who has a drink. 'Hey, fancy a drink?' 'Sorry, I alread got one.' Reach across, grab drink, down in one. 'Now can I buy you a drink?'

I also got called a racist when I said the reason I couldn't dance was because I was white.

Girls suck.

 

[demon]

Don't move or I'll slash your face.

Want to have sex now, while it's consensual?

One that happened to me:

Me: Fancy a dance?

Bitch: No. I can't dance.

Me: Nor can I - my dancing engines are only running at 4% efficiency tonight

Bitch: Fuck off.

Me: Fuck you too, you sour-faced miserable little cunt.

And one that I want to do:

Walk up to a girl who has a drink. 'Hey, fancy a drink?' 'Sorry, I alread got one.' Reach across, grab drink, down in one. 'Now can I buy you a drink?'

I also got called a racist when I said the reason I couldn't dance was because I was white.

Girls suck.

You pimp, you.

 

[Spainkiller]

The moral of the sorry tale is that alcohol does NOT make you look more attractive, or funny for that matter.

 

[MIMIC]

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between "F" and "CK".

:lol

My personal fav:

*Look at girl, then look at crotch* "Well, it isn't gonna suck itself."

 

[whytemyke]

that card is awesome.

 

[ocelittle]

:lol

My personal fav:

*Look at girl, then look at crotch* "Well, it isn't gonna suck itself."

That's my favorite, too.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?

:lol :lol :lol :lol

 

[MrPing1000]

Lines?! Pffft. I didn't have to speak a word when I give out Valentine cards like this:

my eyes are watering im laughing so much :lol