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[Athreous]

Hello, gaf! It's been a while...
First of all, I'd like to say that I love video games since I was a child! It was always a good hobby for me.
In the past years I've been playing mostly mmorpgs, such as Lineage 2, Aion, Final Fantasy XIV and some slashers too, like Diablo and Path of Exile.
It's been like that since 2003, jumping from one mmo to another, meeting new people, making new friends, learning new languages...
But lately I have this sensation that I wasted a lot of time playing these kind of games, and that I should focus on offline games intead, since there's no grind or farm...
Today I played Aion for around 8 hours to get my character from lvl 30 to 40, and that's a ton of time... I could finish resident evil 3 at least 3 times in 8 hours...
I love online games, I love to interact with people, and I don't like/play toxic competitive games such as LoL, PUBG, CS, etc...
I hate this feeling that maybe I'm wasting my time and I'm really confused about what I should do with my time...

Epic Seven is a Gacha, I love it but OMFG, it's so time consuming... And I have to accounts to farm everyday...
Please Gaf, help me!

 

[-Arcadia-]

Don’t play them. You don’t need anyone’s help to set positive boundaries for yourself. Just a goal and the willpower to get there.

Put this stuff down for a few days, or chill on the sheer amount of time you put into it, and you’ll probably enjoy it a lot more.

 

[-Arcadia-]

That said, if you love playing these games, maybe you don’t need offline games?

Still, 8 hours is a bit much.

 

[Self]

I hate this feeling that maybe I'm wasting my time

We had this covered a few days ago. Afair the term/thread was 'FOMO' = Fear of Missig Out. Check it out.
My Pro-Tip: Stop doing shit which makes you feel shitty.

 

[Athreous]

That said, if you love playing these games, maybe you don’t need offline games?

Still, 8 hours is a bit much.

That's exactly what I think... I Remember back in 2009, it took me 6 months to get to lvl 45 in a MMO... That's a ton of time... Playing 8+ hours everyday after work...

I like offline games too. I just don't play them that much because of online games.

 

[Athreous]

We had this covered a few days ago. Afair the term/thread was 'FOMO' = Fear of Missig Out. Check it out.
My Pro-Tip: Stop doing shit which makes you feel shitty.

I mean, I don't feel shitty, games are like any other hobby. It's entertaining, just like movies, music, books... But most online games need a lot of time and that's what worries me.

 

[Quantum253]

Destiny: The thread.
Seriously, though. Ubisoft games are all sorts of grindy

 

[DelireMan7]

I understand you but envy you a bit.

I mainly play offline game because I have not that much time for online game. And when I play them I definitely spend more time than I should.
Also as this feeling to have wasted my time sometimes on online game...

But I have always wanted to get invested in one MMO but couldn't find one than fit me enough to get me stick to it. So in this sense I envy you.

I understand the feeling to miss something but you have to accept that you can't do everything you want in a limited amount of time. Enjoy the time you're playing (online or offline) and that's it.

 

[-Arcadia-]

I mean, I don't feel shitty, games are like any other hobby. It's entertaining, just like movies, music, books... But most online games need a lot of time and that's what worries me.

Yeah, I can understand that. Maybe just dial back a bit to leave room for other things? That seems to be what’s bothering you.

 

[Athreous]

I understand you but envy you a bit.

I mainly play offline game because I have not that much time for online game. And when I play them I definitely spend more time than I should.
Also as this feeling to have wasted my time sometimes on online game...

But I have always wanted to get invested in one MMO but couldn't find one than fit me enough to get me stick to it. So in this sense I envy you.

I understand the feeling to miss something but you have to accept that you can't do everything you want in a limited amount of time. Enjoy the time you're playing (online or offline) and that's it.

Online gaming doesn't affect me negatively. I still work, go out on weekends with my friends, family, etc... it's this grind that sometimes makes me feel bad.

 

[Manji Uzuki]

Just play or do whatever you feel like you want now. From my experience when you are playing a game but just thinking on wanting to finish to play something else it means it's time to drop and move to another thing.

Online games tend to be more absorbing by design. Maybe you just need a break and come back to it later.

 

[Yoshi]

Well, what do you enjoy in games? You do seem to enjoy grind (which I cannot relate to but I know many do), but if you tell us a bit more about what you like other than grind, we might be able to recommend you some games that satisfy you on different levels without being such timesinks.

 

[Kanton]

Good advice here. I have one thats more on the practical side. Pay people to do the most boring grinding for you. Ive started doing this on grindy games i simply dont have the time for lol. It elevates the gaming experience as well as saving you time.

 

[cireza]

Online games are basically a time waster in my opinion. Time you spend doing repetitive stuff in these games is lost forever and does not build much your creativity, knowledge etc... You could be spending time playing a game like Outer Wilds, and then be reflecting for hours about the game. And this, in my opinion, is a much better video-game experience.

If you feel that there are better ways to spend this time, you should try it. Also, there are other ways to spend time in an interesting manner. Video-games can be a part of your life without actually taking each and every minute of free time you have.

Just sharing my personal point of view here.

 

[Guilty_AI]

Based on your answers so far, i think its not a problem with you but rather the games themselves. You like them and want to enjoy them normally but they force you to spend lots of time that you don't want to spend.

Theres really no good solution here. One thing i could suggest trying is looking for online games that don't require too much grind, or that are fun by nature with grind being of less importance.

You could also simply try to control your online game schedule better in order to spare some free time.

 

[DelireMan7]

Online gaming doesn't affect me negatively. I still work, go out on weekends with my friends, family, etc... it's this grind that sometimes makes me feel bad.

Didn't want to imply that. It's not what I understood from your post. Don't worry ^^

For me grind is a big part of MMO so maybe you should play a bit more offline at the moment for a change of pace. But again I don't have much experience with that genre.

 

[teezzy]

My honest advice?

Don't be a pussy about it. Just stop. The first day will be the hardest, but you'll get used to it as you go. Humans adapt, it's what we do.

Quitting games to play other games doesnt seem very productive either. Invest in a more fulfilling hobby.


Good luck.

 

[sid2vicious]

Your the perfect customer for Stadia. Last I checked mmo are still subscription based, how much do you spend yearly? Once you see the numbers, my suggestion is be cheap! For the amount you spend yearly on one game I can probably buy several bundle of games. As for the social part, surely you work? Go outside and meet people and talk to them in real life!

 

[Self]

Based on your answers so far, i think its not a problem with you but rather the games themselves. You like them and want to enjoy them normally but they force you to spend lots of time that you don't want to spend.

No dude, that's not how it works. Nobody forces you to do anything.
People comply, the demand is there. The execution may be shitty, but still.

 

[Optimistic Gamer]

How does one play 8 hours...
I sleep 8 hours, work from 7:30 to 4pm from home
... I'm already down to 7:30h remaining.... fuck that's depressing...

 

[DGrayson]

if you are legit learning new languages to a intermediate/conversational level I would say dont stop that is a great skill to have

 

[GymWolf]

I heard that you can get chlamydia by playing too much multyplayer games.

 

[Guilty_AI]

No dude, that's not how it works. Nobody forces you to do anything.
People comply, the demand is there. The execution may be shitty, but still.

Shitty execution is the very problem here. For a for a good gameplay loop you need fun mechanics and satisfying progression.

Good gameplay-driven games immerse you in their tasks and reward you for completing them accordingly, but MMOs (and other types of online games for that matter) often exploit this task-reward system for the sake of investing you into their product, one such way being giving little reward for a lot of work. That seems to be OPs problem with these games, and one solution would be simply changing them for ones that are just as fun while still respecting your time.

 

[Aggelos]

I hate this feeling that maybe I'm wasting my time and I'm really confused about what I should do with my time...

Epic Seven is a Gacha, I love it but OMFG, it's so time consuming... And I have to accounts to farm everyday...
Please Gaf, help me!

Judging by the way you describe it, you're probably behaviourally addicted. Drugs, narcotics, substance abuse, alcohol are one side of the coin. These are chemical addictions, i.e. some sort of substance enters the human body and as time goes by causes the addiction.

But people get addicted to behaviors, into the bargain.

Behavioral addiction - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Behavioral addiction is a form of addiction that involves a compulsion to engage in a rewarding non-substance-related behavior – sometimes called a natural reward – despite any negative consequences to the person's physical, mental, social or financial well-being. Addiction canonically refers to substance abuse; however, the term connotation has been expanded to include behaviors that may lead to a reward (e.g., gambling, eating, or shopping) since the 1990s. A gene transcription factor known as ΔFosB has been identified as a necessary common factor involved in both behavioral and drug addictions, which are associated with the same set of neural adaptations in the reward system.
Behavioral addictions, which are sometimes referred to as impulse control disorders, are increasingly recognized as treatable forms of addiction. The type of excessive behaviors identified as being addictive include gambling, food, chocolate, sexual intercourse, use of pornography, use of computers, playing video games, use of the internet and other digital media, exercise, and shopping.


It's all about the "reward" that your brain sees. You already said it yourself here, why you do it and keep doing it.

Today I played Aion for around 8 hours to get my character from lvl 30 to 40, and that's a ton of time... I could finish resident evil 3 at least 3 times in 8 hours...
I love online games, I love to interact with people, and I don't like/play toxic competitive games such as LoL, PUBG, CS, etc...

You gotta re-program your brain to stop seeing a "reward" in the type of behaviour that you have cultivated and fostered over the years.
And it ain't gonna be easy.

 

[Ryu Kaiba]

Quit. I quit Overwatch when I realized it was sapping me of motivation to do anything else. I would come home with a list of errands i wanted to get done but then resort to "Just a few rounds" of the game and end up playing it for hours. When I did finally start to do those errands I realized I'd never felt so lazy in my life.
After my dopamine reward system recovered I looked back at the state I was in and realized Video Games can truly be drugs.

 

[Spukc]

If you cant stop for a day or week. You have a serious issue.

 

[Ryu Kaiba]

It's like alcoholism, drugs, or porn. The rest of your life is bland in comparison and you've grown dependent on the games.

 

[vaibhavpisal]

Why stop if it does not harm you?

I mean if your finances, relationships, other time commitments are not suffering, why stop?

If it is causing you harm, you would know it and stop by yourself. Nobody on GAF could help you.

 

[Danjin44]

It's interesting that people get this much joy playing with others in online. I other hand HATE playing with others, I don't trust people not ruin my time and I consider gaming as my me time and I really don't want anyone interfere with that. Basically I'm as anti-social as you can get when it comes to gaming.

 

[Spukc]

It's interesting that people get this much joy playing with others in online. I other hand HATE playing with others, I don't trust people not ruin my time and I consider gaming as my me time and I really don't want anyone interfere with that. Basically I'm as anti-social as you can get when it comes to gaming.

Trust issues?

 

[Fuz]

Don’t play them. You don’t need anyone’s help to set positive boundaries for yourself. Just a goal and the willpower to get there.

Easy, right?

 

[SCB3]

Destiny: The thread.
Seriously, though. Ubisoft games are all sorts of grindy

I felt that, glad this season was somewhat bad, allowed me to take a break and play a lot of other things, to be honest I've been slowly going off Destiny since Shadowkeep, I definitely don't play as much

 

[Dr.Morris79]

Good advice here. I have one thats more on the practical side. Pay people to do the most boring grinding for you. Ive started doing this on grindy games i simply dont have the time for lol. It elevates the gaming experience as well as saving you time.

You pay someone to game for you?

What?

 

[Danjin44]

Trust issues?

I don’t know........maybe, but when I play games I want to get sucked in to the world, story and characters and I feel other people would just interfere with that. Not to mention this gen I have to be pay to even play online........no thank you, it’s not worth it to me.

 

[-Arcadia-]

Easy, right?

Easier than being miserable, or life being less than you want it.

 

[Spukc]

I don’t know........maybe, but when I play games I want to get sucked in to the world, story and characters and I feel other people would just interfere with that. Not to mention this gen I have to be pay to even play online........no thank you, it’s not worth it to me.

Maybe play a game you love with same minded people and you might start to enjoy certain online games.
i would advise you to start with coop games. They are way less toxic.

you like rpg's? if loot does anything to you and character building&tuning maybe diablo 3 is fun for you

 

[hyperbertha]

It seems you're addicted to the dopamine rush that progression mechanics and grinding in these online mmos give you. Over 10 years ago there was this trash game on facebook that I was addicted to for a whole year, that had a lot of similar progression like mmorpgs. My advice is lay off for a short while and start getting your entertainment from elsewhere. Tune your brain to survive on other means of entertainment. Its going to be a test of your will power OP. Much like drugs. The longer you go without playing an mmorpg, the less you will want to play it, because your brain will be dependent on them less and less with time.

 

[Fuz]

Easier than being miserable, or life being less than you want it.

Just don't be depressed.

 

[Nankatsu]

From what I understand you want to stop playing online videogames, not videogames in general so...

Establish an order, like for instances, always start by playing something offline instead of online.

Gradually, you will start to decrease the time you spent in online games.

It's easy said than done, I know, but the sheer will needs to come from you.

 

[-Arcadia-]

Just don't be depressed.

(Clearly this is less about him, and more about you. Or a fairly big virtue signal. I choose the former to respond to)

As opposed to just be depressed? A winsome strategy. Things go wrong in life, whether we get a bit addicted to things like the OP or find ourselves in untenable situations.

We still need to do our best, whether that’s setting positive goals for ourselves and achieving them, or finding little ways to make each day brighter. It’s important to try, though, and not buy into the new age dogma of undefeatable victimhood, an ideology that only makes problems worse.

In that respect, I’m not about to reply to anyone that needs support with a grumbling, maybe you can do it, maybe not. As a fellow human who I want the best for, I’m going to push him a little, and give him that boost of confidence and support that he can, a boost we can all use from time to time.

 

[The_Mike]

You aren't wasting your time if you enjoy what you do.

I played mainly single player games until we got cable in 2000. After that I haven't really completed any games.

The social aspect and the unpredictable enemies makes the stupid AI dull and boring to fight against. Offline games feels so empty because everything is scripted.

You never know what kind of people you meet online. Can be both good and bad.

 

[Greedings]

Stop cold turkey, but you need something else that fills your time.

I quit before I started graduate school because I knew it wouldn't work and I'd be constantly distracted. It wasn't that hard as I barely had time for gaming anyway and real life goals > gaming.

I also look back and cringe at having to "do my dailies" etc. It's kinda pathetic, and just a cheap way to keep you hooked by the company.

 

[Ceadeus]

I would say don't wait until your are nearly 40 to finally understand what you have been missing outside of your time consuming hobby. I'm an alcoholic myself and clearly want to work things out to feel better and less ''stuck'' in this vicious circle.

 

[Northeastmonk]

Buy a couple offline games, Resident Evil 3 and 2 (if you haven’t). Disconnect for a while and play it.

You have to be wanting to learn more about offline games. You have to be interested in their world, their gameplay, or something. You can’t just play it for 20 minutes and then go back to an online game. You’re kinda going back to “what you feel” is a problem. If it’s 20 minutes then just save and come back later. That’s the beauty of offline games.

What’s crazy is I love offline games, but when I talk to people who play online. It’s like we have separate hobbies. That’s goes for a lot of things like simulators or those open world sandbox games (Ark, Rust, etc). I have my own selection of games I play on console and PC. It just never matches up. I own 7 Days to Die, Subnautica, etc. some are just open endless games. I don’t spend any time on them. I spend more time with something that has a beginning and an end. Even when I play through NG++ of Dark Souls, it isn’t about the online part. I see people who do focus on invading, but I am not exactly playing to invade someone else’s world.

I think variety and sticking to an offline game would fix this. I’ve known multiplayer gamers who played Halo every day and some who just focused on multiplayer period. It’s great they show interest, but they don’t always stick with it. That’s at least from my experience. I loved trying WoW and FFXI/XIV, but I’m not playing them because I want to buy other games.

It’s like playing through Kingdom Hearts III, Death Stranding, and etc. You can save your game and just come back when you have more time. They’re easy to come back to.

 

[Bwesh]

I used to to be like you. I got almost addicted to mobile gacha. Mine was Destiny Child, playing it non-stop since I work from home.

I stopped when I realized I could have used the time to learn new things.

 

[Aion002]

Set a time limit for your online games.

Like 1 hour per day or something.

Respect your schedule and eventually you will be able to balance what you enjoy and what you want to play.

I am also an E7 player, in this one in particularly, just use the normal stamina, ignore everything else, don't go after whales and "the meta", farm while you do other activities (like reading or even working if possible), just enjoy the game casually.

E7 is a great game for casuals and hell for hardcore gamers (I was one and I regret it).

 

[Moogle11]

If you’re putting in a ton of hours and not having fun, that’s a problem as it’s an indication of addiction.

If you’re putting in a ton of hours, having a lot of fun but neglecting work, chores, family and friends it’s a problem as its a siGM of addiction as even having fun isn’t ideal if it means neglecting responsibilities and/or losing friends etc.

If you’re playing a ton, having fun and not neglecting responsibilities/family/friends, who cares? There’s no need to have FOMO about not playing other games or watching all the movies or shows that interest you or that your friends are talking about.

Hobbies are meant to be fun. Some like me take more of a “variety is the spice of life” approach and do a lot of things. Others are just really into one hobby and maybe just one or a few games of gaming is that hobby. Nothing wrong with either approach as long as one is having fun and nOT neglecting more important things in life.

If you aren’t having fun and/or are neglecting other things, take a break from gaming and sort out priorities and reflect on what you really enjoy.

 

[JOEVIAL]

 

[Athreous]

Thank you so much for all the replies!
I don't think that I'm addicted, because I can stop playing online games without any problem at all. I just don't know if I should.
Meeting people online encouraged me learning English, Korean, Japanese, german as well as learning more about their culture, so I'm glad I started playing online.
The grind in these games that make me feel a bit bad sometimes, but it's something needed in the game in order to reach high level skills and areas...
I read a lot too, watch movies, learn new recipes to cook for my family and friends, etc.
There are just a ton of offline games that I bought and barely touched... But if I play them, I won't progress in the online ones hehehe.

 

[CAB_Life]

Nothing wrong with online games, unless you’re talking about a gacha addiction. Epic Seven is top of its class for a mobile game; has a ton of content, gorgeous graphics and you can play it barely spending a dime. I used to think I was “wasting time” missing out on these AAA experiences, but the truth is, most of them are $70+DLC and you play them for an average of 10-20h, so the value just isn’t there for me. I always end up back at ESO or something similar in the end anyway—the systems and “living world” hooks are just far more interesting to me than static games. Give me a persistent online world with continually evolving events and features in a genre and atmosphere I like and that’s all I need.

Too many people have this “grass is greener” mentality. If you’re having fun and enjoy these games there’s no need for an existential crisis.

Newsflash: all video games are technically a waste of time and escapism from life. That’s the point. And so long as you have a healthy balance of reality vs. fantasy time whatever genre you play is irrelevant.