I rarely watch the local news, as I'm never home, and there's rarely anything newsworthy. The last time I did was because my uncle didn't show up for court (he had kited ~$90k in checks), and I kind of hoped that my family would be horribly embarassed. Alas, no go. It was all over the paper though! Anyway, there's like, 4 newscasts here, and they're all equally horrible.
But one anchor stands above the rest (QUITE LITERALLY!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!).
This man.
"Too Tall" Tom Szymanski. 6'10" of pure Satan. In addition to being the local weatherman, he's also quite the alcoholic, and if my sources are correct, also a coke head (which wouldn't surprise me, at all). He loves the cold weather. He refers to temperatures of 0º as "the doughnut!" And seeing as it's pretty much less than or equal to 0º for about 4 months out of the year, this gets on your nerves. He also refers to temperatures of 5º as "a nickel" or 10º as "a dime." And on very special nights, we get the Daily Double: "It's a nickel beloooooooow the doughnut tonight!" He's so hyperkinetic and obnxious. He's always sticking his bulbous melon RIGHT into the camera, and flailing his bear paw-esque hands everywhere. If you're ever in Fargo, ND, turn on the channel 11 news for a real treat.
But one anchor stands above the rest (QUITE LITERALLY!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!).
This man.
"Too Tall" Tom Szymanski. 6'10" of pure Satan. In addition to being the local weatherman, he's also quite the alcoholic, and if my sources are correct, also a coke head (which wouldn't surprise me, at all). He loves the cold weather. He refers to temperatures of 0º as "the doughnut!" And seeing as it's pretty much less than or equal to 0º for about 4 months out of the year, this gets on your nerves. He also refers to temperatures of 5º as "a nickel" or 10º as "a dime." And on very special nights, we get the Daily Double: "It's a nickel beloooooooow the doughnut tonight!" He's so hyperkinetic and obnxious. He's always sticking his bulbous melon RIGHT into the camera, and flailing his bear paw-esque hands everywhere. If you're ever in Fargo, ND, turn on the channel 11 news for a real treat.
