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[lost_insaniti]

My weirdest dream: I was walking around at my local mall, except it was a mix of the
mall and a castle. Drew Carey was with me talking about shooting midgets.
Suddenly a bunch of what appeared to be hairdressers jumped out with light sabers.
We started fighting them with our own sabers, which came out of nowhere. Then one of the hairdressers turned into Godzilla. Abraham Lincoln was nearby eating pizza rolls and used his magical abilities to free Godzilla from slavery. I turned around and....
was pushing my grandmother in her wheel chair.


After I had this dream I wrote it down because I knew I would
be repeating it one day on some internet forum.

 

[Litigation Manuel]

Mine has a punchline (kinda):

It was in this old, castle-like structure. We knew the zombies would be coming soon. A couple friends and I were hiding in the dining room. Above the dining area was a small ledge you could hide on, which I did. After a bit of waiting, these big green, creatures burst through the door, the first one shouting "feel the pain!". I get pulled down by a zombie, but escaped, and my friends were almost getting eaten. Finally, right when one is about to die, he shouts out what would be a confession, so he never kept anything from us. He shouts out, "I'M GAY!" and all the zombies stop what they're doing. The leader of them turns around, points his finger at my friend, and shouts, "Now THAT'S morality!" and they immediately leave, smiling and chuckling to themselves. In my dream, this makes perfect sense. Zombies are dead and walking, the opposite of us, so their views of morality would be opposite of most people's as well.

 

[karasu]

This isn't my weirdest dream, but it's the weirdest one that iw rote down last month.

I don't remember all of it, but me and two friends won some kind of contest and got to hang out with Johnny Depp for a day. For some reason he kept calling me bubba, maybe becauise he's from kentucky. :/ He was all wacky like he was in Secret Window, all skittish and what not. Then at one part we were walking down the street at night and he walked over to a 7-11 and took a leak in the corner and it started to snow and he looked over at us while still peeing and said "Johnny Depp!" with a big toothy smile. Then sometime later he set up this fight between me and a Muay Thai friend of his, to be held at the guys gym, but when we got there we couldn't get in. There was this bald hefty albino fellow in the gym window pointing at us and laughing, he was constantly mooning us. Then the albino gave the thumbs up, and I woke up. :/ WTF was that?!

 

[Ollie Pooch]

i was running through some houses in a weird neighbourhood, and my recently-departed cat was poitning me the way.. she was lifting her paw and going 'mooww' and directing me through all these weird tuscan-style houses (but they were in the middle of suburbia). there was a helicopter chasing me, and i ran into the backyard and all these kids were in a pool and they SCREAMED when they saw me as a stranger in their backyard. so i said quick! can i hide in the pool? there is a helicopter after me.. and i got in, was hiding underwater periodically poking my head out looking for the helicopter.. and i saw it landing next to the pool, and i saw it had giant flippers on it, and some weird fat italian lady got out of it, pulled out a massive shotgun, which was bent in all weird shapes... she then aimed the gun at my head and pulled the trigger.. i woke up holding my forehead!! very odd

 

[rs7k]

I had a *very* vivid, lucid dream about doing acid last night. I've never done it, but if it's anything like my dream, sign me up for it.

 

[DopeyFish]

just recently i was having a weird dream

It was like i was in battlestar galactica and the cylons look like humans

I referred to them as cylons too. But I was wherever the hell i was with 2 other people. I kept telling one person the other person was a cylon and i had proof that she was. But of course the stupid character i keep telling ends up going over to the cylon bitch and then she kill us both.

Oh wait it doesn't end there! It's like it's happening groundhog day style! So i restart over! I have to be creative and figure out ways to tell her... you know... that whore over there is a cylon... damnit we need to get her.

I eventually got sick of this boring mind game when the cylon ended up scissoring me with her arms (cutting me in half!) and seeing the dumb person that kept saying that giving the look "oh now i believe you"

so i woke up and said "You dumb bitch. SHE IS A CYLON"

Oh the fun dreams I have. Oscar worthy I might add!

 

[The Take Out Bandit]

The most bizarre dream I've had recently involved me and my penis.

Which happened to be removeable.

So what's the first thing I do with it?

Suck myself off. =_=

Wait it gets worse!

After sucking myself off, I spent some time trying to poke myself in the browneye with it.

Thank god I woke up. @_@

The best dreams I used to have were as a kid. It was totally shota dojin.

I was this little were-kid and this super hot safari babe that looking like a young Sybil Danning in safari gear was stalking me on her estate. :q

 

[Jotaro]

I am quite certain many of my recent weird/scary dreams were because of Mike Works' avatar, for his meleted Hitler avatar was often the last picture I saw before I shut down the PC and went to bed.

 

[Lambtron]

This was a couple years ago:

In my dream, I was in a semi driven by an acquaintance of mine who was affectionately nicknamed Chode. Riding with us were a mutual friend, AJ, and GAF's very own bobbyconover. We were driving on the highway, north of Fargo, heading in a southbound direction. I knew that we were hauling a load of imported Swedish laserdiscs. Just as we were about to get to Fargo, Chode yells out "HOLY SHIT!" and a giant seagull swoops down and smashes into the windshield of the semi. We swerve off the road, and end up in the ditch. We all get out and looked at our wrecked semi. I realize that I'd better check on the LDs. So I jump into the trailer, and there's two boxes of laserdiscs, and everything looks okay. I jump out of the trailer to let them know that everything is okay, but when my mouth opens, no sound comes out. This is what comes out:

<Zack> The laserdiscs are fine, guys!

Like, that block of IRC-esque text. It just slid out of my mouth, like that's what was supposed to happen. We then proceeded to stand around while it started raining, all of us talked in this IRC-fashion. After we "said" something it would hang over our head until the next thing was "spoken."

I woke up and realized that I was far too big of a geek, and that I really, really needed to cut down my IRC usage.

 

[yoshifumi]

for some reason, i was on a tour of oprah's house with my mom and my younger sister, which is weird because they don't give a shit about oprah. on the tour, i snuck away from the group and went through her stuff, jumped on her trampolines (there was a room with an all trampoline floor), and probably broke a lot of stuff. about midway through this mayhem i got caught, and oprah sent her son to "take care of me" (i have no idea if she has a son). the dream ended with me beating her son to death on their front lawn in front of a crowd of cheering bystanders.

 

[DopeyFish]

for some reason, i was on a tour of oprah's house with my mom and my younger sister, which is weird because they don't give a shit about oprah.

uh oh! we found a closet oprah fan!

 

[FortNinety]

In mine, I was Arsenio Hall.

 

[God's Hand]

I drove a school bus full of children off a cliff. Weird dream.

 

[Tarazet]

I was a snow leopard cub, walking along with my mother and several siblings, then I tripped and froze, and I got left behind while the others all ditched me. One of the very few dreams that I can actually recall...

 

[Xenon]

I dreamt I didn’t sleep and spent the whole night watching infomercials. It took my body an hour to convince my mind that it was rested.

 

[Chony]

Most recent weird one:

I was outside in my backyard, wakling around looking at the sky. It was getting warmer, and warmer. The sun seemed to grow larger, the brightnes intensifying, the grass getting harder, crunchier, yellow. Heat waves distorted the world around me, the heat got to my head, and I collapsed to the ground.

As I lay on the ground for a moment, I noticed it began to cool down, but at an alarming pace. The ground began to harden even more, into ice. The world around me turned to a bluish hue. To stay warm I began running toward my house to get out of the cold, as it began to warm back up. I collapsed again as the heat returned, and got back up as it cooled down. I finally made it inside and shut the door. I decided we (my whole family and some friends are here) needed to get out of the town for some reason. We ran outside, and me and some random hot red head got in a convertible, while the rest of my family and friends got into an SUV. We drove off onto the highway when our tires popped. My family drove past us, and I tried to fix the car when I noticed the trees moving, very slowly. The trees had uprooted and were slowly tip toeing towards the highway. You wouldn't have noticed unless you looked really hard.

I thought screw the car, so we ran into the woods (me and the redhead), through a trail. I realized the world was ending, so I grabbed the redhead and we fucked on a park bench in the forest. My parents ran up to us and told us we had to get to the river. So I followed them, and left the redhead naked on the bench.

I don't remember the rest.

 

[hobbitx]

I once had a dream that Apple and the KKK merged into one company, it seemed like an 80's dream. The racists and the normal workers were fighting in front of the main building, despite me being a black non-racist, I thought their new logo looked pretty cool. That dream felt too real though, when I looked at the sign I could really feel the light hurting my eyes.

 

[Wendo]

I had a dream that lasted for quite a while where I was just in love with non alcoholic Samuel Adams beer. (Although, they don't actually have a non-alcoholic beer in real life). I would tell various people in my dream things like, "I love this Samuel Adams beer!", "It's fantastic!", and "It really has that nice, rich and fulfilling flavor!". And I drank copious amounts of it, in fact- I think I was drinking the entire duration of the dream.

And I could even taste it. It was like a cross between Kombocha and ginger ale.

Disturbing. I was turned into a dream-marketer of a product that doesn't exist.

 

[demon]

My weirdest dream was also the most disturbing, and one of the few I can recall that was identifiably influenced by my real life. I even named it, hehe: The Mexican House of Dead Babies.

My sister had been going through some tough times with her boyfriend, went through an abortion, and then got knocked up again. She decided to keep it because it (at barely 17) because essentially it would fill a void in her life. Fucking brilliant plan if you ask me. Anyways, she woke up one day and discovered she had a miscarriage overnight. It was later that day that she told me about this second pregnancy and everything surrounding it, and it kind of disturbed me. And having supported her through her abortion the previous summer, it wasn't easy knowing that a potential nephew of mine was killed off. (notice I said "potential"....pr0-cho1ce fo L1FE W00T!!!11")

Anyways, that night I had a really fucked up dream that still kind of disturbs me. I was walking one afternoon around this urban, kinda run-down town in Mexico (I just knew it was Mexico) with buildings and shops and houses/apartments lined up right next to each other all over the place. I walked into this one house, and soon realized that there were horribly mutilated and mangled babies all over the house....several per room....on the floor, on tables, on chairs. It was a truly disturbing sight, and it felt pretty real. And they weren't just fetuses either; I think they were for the most party full-grown babies. At that point I woke up thinking WHAT THE FUCK?

 

[Suerte]

One time angry badgers attacked my town.

 

[The Take Out Bandit]

Anyways, that night I had a really fucked up dream that still kind of disturbs me. I was walking one afternoon around this urban, kinda run-down town in Mexico (I just knew it was Mexico) with buildings and shops and houses/apartments lined up right next to each other all over the place. I walked into this one house, and soon realized that there were horribly mutilated and mangled babies all over the house....several per room....on the floor, on tables, on chairs. It was a truly disturbing sight, and it felt pretty real. And they weren't just fetuses either; I think they were for the most party full-grown babies. At that point I woke up thinking WHAT THE FUCK?

ROX!

Dead babies = Awesome creep factor.

Which reminds me of a dream I had while in Chicago. Personally, it didn't creep me out because I'm a horror fan.

I dreamt I was in this dingy city, all shades of grey and black. Like everything was covered in ash. On one of the city streets was this garbage heap of babies. Sort of like a Frazetta painting, with the heap coming to a peak in the center; and there was this groggy toddler wandering around on top of it.

Man, now I'm in the mood to read some Bentley Little novels.