Tool said:
Again, why should it be an issue for homosexual people if it's not an issue for heterosexual people? It's as if by telling him ahead of time you are admitting that something is wrong with your sexual preference and if he doesn't like it he can find another roommate.
The straight man doesn't need to tell you he's straight because it's
implied. Everyone had already assumed this guy's roomate will be (though he may not be). It's not an admission that you're doing something wrong, but he DOES have a choice of whether he wants to live with you (or anyone else) for ANY reason. He CAN find another roomate, and if he has an issue with this, right or wrong, he should!
Why should it be an issue? Because it IS an issue, whether you'd like to think it isn't or not. People have insecurities. Like it or not, some they can't help, but they're there anyway. It's not homophobic, it's just life. It would be a completely different issue if this involved sharing an apartment, because then both people have their own private space, but I assume this is a dorm room. Two guys sharing a 12' by 10' room isn't going to be a good situation no matter what. Some guys just might find it a little more uncomfortable knowing their roomate, say, is having sexual fantasies about them while they're getting dressed. Do you ever plan to have a guy over and cuddle watching a movie? Probably. Maybe kiss? Probably. I can tell you this much, your roomate expects to do those things in his room with the person of his choice. Better to tell the potential roomate now and just avoid the potential akward situation completely. It's not wrong if he's not comfortable with it. You can find a roomate that is, and isn't that really the better situation anyway? Worse yet, what if he IS homophobic? Hell, what if he'd be downright disgusted by it? Do you want to be living with him in that situation? Telling him in advance is potentially a good thing for both of you.
To qualify all this, let me tell you that I myself roomed with a guy who was very flamboyantly gay. He never once admitted it to me, despite the fact that it was obvious. In fact, he hid it from me (denying it when brought up, calling his lover a "good friend"). I would have certainly appreciated it if, sometime early on, he had said "Hey Seth, before I move in, I want you to know I'm gay, and I hope you're cool with that." I would have said it was fine, and that would have been that. Instead we spent four months of him hiding it, and me feeling a little betrayed because the person I shared a 10' by 12' space with wasn't even being honest with me. Let me also say that it isn't going to be easy for a straight guy sharing a room with a gay guy in a mens dorm. The entire world isn't okay with homosexuality. There will be enough guys in the dorm that aren't to make things a pain for the straight guy. Rarely a day went by that someone didn't (jokingly or not) ask me if Andrew had "had me up the ass." "Are you sure? Maybe you just don't remember it. Have you been having headaches? He could have chloroformed you." Haha...yeah, funny. It's not RIGHT, but it will happen, and it's not something just you will have to deal with. If anyone suspects you of being gay, your roomate will deal with it, too.
On the whole, I think it was a good learning experience for me. I think he deserves to choose for himself though.