OH GOD if I ever got the drive to do the work required to become a warder, I'd probably be marked for death for my actions. If my prison is for murderers, they'd get the basics, and ONLY the basics. TV? No, you get USA Today and the Wall Street Journal and if you can't read then you better learn damn quick or have somebody read it to you. Snacks? Fuck you, you get healthy food with the daily recommended amout of calories; there will be no sweets. Gym equipment? ARE YOU INSANE? Then when your term is up you come out of prison more physically fit than ever before and now a larger number of people are weak against you. No. No gym equipment for you. Push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, running around the courtyard; all are good enough for you.
There would be educational and life development programs, all of which are up to the prisoner to pursue. Because that's the only entertainment outside of acting like prisoners they'll ever get from me. If they want to ignore the opportunities and just sit there and rot, fine by me. And if they want to riot about it and negotiate better terms, I'd crank up the heat to 98 and turn off all other power and water.
And if anyone ever questions me about it, I'd tell them "can his victim watch TV right now? can his victim eat a chocolate cake right now? run a treadmill, ride a bike, play Manhunt, live? They should be happy they have the basic right to life because when you take away a person's right to live for your own pleasure, you deserve to lose almost all of yours." They'd better be happy with what they have given their actions. Even a lifer has a small inkling of a chance at getting out if he's been on his best behavior, is very old, and in a very crowded prison. There's a 99% chance it'll never happen, but that 1% at a normal life is an infinitely better odd than the victim's. It really is more than they deserve.
...went on longer than I though. In short, fuck 'em. No games for the wicked. They can't play patty-cake?
