Star Power
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Question for gayming agers.
- Thread starter Star Power
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kitchenmotors
Banned
uhm, 4th grade is when I sort of knew the term gay and what it meant, and I also was aware of my feelings towards boys, especially when I was around my best friend.
Why, are you confused?
Why, are you confused?
Star Power
Member
kitchenmotors said:
Very. I'm on the verge of a breakdown right now.
Mama Smurf
My penis is still intact.
Well do you look at guys and want to fuck them, or do you look at girls and want to fuck them?
If both, that's okay too.
They should really hire me for a phone support line, I'd be great.
If both, that's okay too.
They should really hire me for a phone support line, I'd be great.
kitchenmotors
Banned
Star Power said:
How old are you, if you don't mine me asking?
Star Power
Member
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Spiritreaver
Member
I first started really taking notice of my feelings towards guys in the 7th grade. During my geography class I had to sit with this really nice looking guy, popular kid and soccer player, but he was always really nice to me and would talk to me every day and we became nice friends. But I really started to develop stronger feelings for the guy. He was always on my mind it seemed, I was head over heels for him. I didn't quite realize that till afterwards, especailly during the next school year. I really wanted to get closer with him, you know? Longed for something more than just a friendship.
I honestly never really had an, "I"m gay." moment. It was just something that I accepted from myself at the get go of these feelings. Even before 8th grade I had always noticed how I would never look at the women in soft porn, always the men I kept my attention on. I just never thought to really label it then. The thing is, these feelings got stronger, it didn't end at all. It ended up having these feelings for other guys, not just that one I met. All through high school, the start mainly anyways, I had a bunch of conflicting thoughts in my head. I tried to get myself to like the girls in my school, but I just couldn't keep my mind off men. To the point where they were all that were on my mind and I honestly jsut didn't feel anything for women anymore. I think then I really accepted it as something that was me that just won't change.
Anyways, to wrap this up, for me it's rather sketchy. I had feelings that I hadn't noticed for guys very early on, 4th-5th grade. But they really didn't start to take a noticeable impact until the 7th grade, and even then I wasn't sure if it was just a phase until it became a major part of myself in high school where I finally decided to just accept myself as how I am, and move on.
I honestly never really had an, "I"m gay." moment. It was just something that I accepted from myself at the get go of these feelings. Even before 8th grade I had always noticed how I would never look at the women in soft porn, always the men I kept my attention on. I just never thought to really label it then. The thing is, these feelings got stronger, it didn't end at all. It ended up having these feelings for other guys, not just that one I met. All through high school, the start mainly anyways, I had a bunch of conflicting thoughts in my head. I tried to get myself to like the girls in my school, but I just couldn't keep my mind off men. To the point where they were all that were on my mind and I honestly jsut didn't feel anything for women anymore. I think then I really accepted it as something that was me that just won't change.
Anyways, to wrap this up, for me it's rather sketchy. I had feelings that I hadn't noticed for guys very early on, 4th-5th grade. But they really didn't start to take a noticeable impact until the 7th grade, and even then I wasn't sure if it was just a phase until it became a major part of myself in high school where I finally decided to just accept myself as how I am, and move on.
kitchenmotors
Banned
Star Power said:
You still have time to sort of think about things, but at 16 you're pretty much done with puberty, your hormones are raging and what you feel is sort of what you get. I would just sort of go with the flow if you're really on the line between girls and boys, but if you like boys but are scared because of the social and personal implications of being gay, that's a whole different ball game.
Spiritreaver
Member
Mama Smurf said:
Meh, I honestly don't think sexual attraction makes up for all of it. Some guys will fuck anything, and it honestly doens't make a difference. But some people would spend a nice passionate relationship with someone of the same sex, and I think that's a whole different world of "gay" than just wanting to have sex with another man.
And you're 16, Star Power? I think that what you feel is you will come to you soon. You may not turn out gay, but it also depends on how strong your feelings are for other guys. Are they all you're attracted to? Do you swing between guys and girls? Lots of things.
I know this is hard, I've been there myself, but you did something I didn't and that was seek some help.
I let it fester inside me and I think it had some rather harsh implications on my life in high school. Just try and hang in there for the ride, and however you turn out... learn to accept it. Worry about yourself first, if you turn out gay it's something you're going to have to live with. Try not to jump to the thoughts about others and how they'll take it. if you can, though I know it's nearly impossible at times.Intimations came around age 11 or so, and that lead to several confusing years. By the time I was 14, I pretty much knew but refused to let myself believe it. By 16, I had experiences with guys, and I was still sort of denying it. I guess I accepted it before the end of high school, but I wasn't particularly happy about it. I'm still not. It's not an easy life. I'm still offput and uninterested in gay culture. Luckily, I now live in an area where there's gay indie kids all over the place.
I think, chances are, if you're asking this question at age 16, you're at the very least not heterosexual. How deeply you're bi/gay. . .you could probably answer yourself at this point, since I can safely say that the amorous desires you're having now are set for life. I hope you don't have as many problems coming to terms with this as I did.
These are wise words. I, unfortunately, did not live in an environment conducive to speaking about these things, and I was just too ashamed to bring this stuff up online. I may have screwed myself up.
I think, chances are, if you're asking this question at age 16, you're at the very least not heterosexual. How deeply you're bi/gay. . .you could probably answer yourself at this point, since I can safely say that the amorous desires you're having now are set for life. I hope you don't have as many problems coming to terms with this as I did.
These are wise words. I, unfortunately, did not live in an environment conducive to speaking about these things, and I was just too ashamed to bring this stuff up online. I may have screwed myself up.
Spiritreaver
Member
White Man said:
Heh, I completely understand. I came out earlier this year actually, that's when I finally got the nerve to tell my friends. That was only because I was leaving and it was basically a, "I'm gay, don't like it? Fuck you." kind of thing. I had no regrets as I wasn't going to be seeing them every again.
Since though, I did come out to my mom, she ran into some sites I had been to and asked me about it and I didn't deny it. Honestly, after finally coming out to my friends, I think that made me go about it as less of a major thing. Something I can just shrug and say, "Yeah, I'm gay." it's not a big deal. I wish I had realized this much earlier on in life. I'm actually still quiet about it offline, but if you ask I'll respond truthfully, I'm no longer ashamed. Online is another story, a lot of people don't like me because of this, but I'm very open about it now, I've tried to encourage myself to be to people I really don't know. Why? Because I wish I could have done that offline. I wish I had someone there to talk to about it with, to have those silly boy discussions, to help me realize that me being gay is me and it's not that big of a deal.
DarthWufei said:
Move to Scotland
I'd like to add, you'll probably become more "aware" of yourself if you go to college or university, I don't think I'd be as "out" as I am if it wasn't for people that I met through Uni, it seems everyone is totally cool with it and are great to talk to.
I was doing stuff through the second half of high school, but I never actually came out until I did the ol' college reinvention. Luckily, when you're a liberal arts student, it's practically assumed anyways.
I apparently came out to my mom after I was in a car crash. I don't remember it or the circumstances. I had a serious concussion and about 2 weeks of my life are missing. The crash was on August 26th, 2001. I don't remember September 11.
As far as being out, I'm not particularly vocal about it online or off. I'll tell my friends only when it comes up. I don't like the gay 'scene.' It's just tacky to me, and it just makes me uncomfortable. Being gay should be the least interesting thing about me, and the thought of a scene that glorifies this one aspect of the person is insulting. Of all the interesting personalities, quirks, likes, and dislikes, these people choose to live their lives around something as base as sexuality. They're selling themselves short.
As it stands, I'm more of a loner. Sex and relationships don't mean a whole lot to me. I'm more attracted to a person's ideas than anything. Nothing gets me going more than a guy babbling passionately about literature or art or philosophy.
Sometimes, it seems like I struggle every day with this stuff.
I apparently came out to my mom after I was in a car crash. I don't remember it or the circumstances. I had a serious concussion and about 2 weeks of my life are missing. The crash was on August 26th, 2001. I don't remember September 11.
As far as being out, I'm not particularly vocal about it online or off. I'll tell my friends only when it comes up. I don't like the gay 'scene.' It's just tacky to me, and it just makes me uncomfortable. Being gay should be the least interesting thing about me, and the thought of a scene that glorifies this one aspect of the person is insulting. Of all the interesting personalities, quirks, likes, and dislikes, these people choose to live their lives around something as base as sexuality. They're selling themselves short.
As it stands, I'm more of a loner. Sex and relationships don't mean a whole lot to me. I'm more attracted to a person's ideas than anything. Nothing gets me going more than a guy babbling passionately about literature or art or philosophy.
Sometimes, it seems like I struggle every day with this stuff.
I'm not a fan of "the scene" either, I know that the type of person I'm looking for dosen't go to those type of bars or clubs either, so I don't bother going. Not that I go out just to find someone but you know what I mean anyway. They need to make a bar for indie/alternative gay guys, or at least one that dosen't assume you like Kylie/Cher because you're gay. Yes, it's true, we can actually listen to GOOD music *shock horror* I just end up going to "straight" indie bars/clubs nowadays. I don't think my friends appreciate how lucky they are to go to these places and know that the vast majority of them are the same sexual orientation as them and that they don't have to "guess" who isn't part of the vast majority, if there are any at all in the place GAH.
GAH.Oh, I didn't know this was directed at me. I was just pointing out that it's cool to live in an environment where gay indie kids actually do exist. I didn't mean to make it sound like a big association. Music is just one of the few things I could speak clearly about, and it's cool to have people that appreciate a lot of the same things I do. Most normal guys get turned off around hour number 2 of my "Diamond Dogs was the biggest letdown ever" rant.
Freestyler
Member
I first had gay thoughts when I was 10 or so, with a boy on my soccer team (maybe soccer made me gay) who was drop dead gorgeous. Then the feelings got stronger as I got older, and I came out to everyone at high school when I was 15. Everyone accepted it, it was fab. Came out to my parents earlier this year, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done (I was/am 18). They pretty much said "yea we were gonna tell you that soon", so it wasn't a big shock for them. I'm even closer with my stepmum now (she lives with us) that I'm out, and things are sweet with my dad too.
I guess it comes down to what you fantasise about, and I'm not just talking sexual fantasies. When you picture yourself in ten years time, are you dating a guy or a girl? For me it was always a guy.
I guess it comes down to what you fantasise about, and I'm not just talking sexual fantasies. When you picture yourself in ten years time, are you dating a guy or a girl? For me it was always a guy.
I guess I was always a bit off, but I didn't realize it till I was 11. And when I did I pretty much went into a denial stage. Looking back now everyone should have had questions about my sexuality. 75% of my friends in elementary were girls, I despised 80% of the games in recess and would rather sit and talk with my girl friends, heck I wanted to become a FIGURE SKATER! If that didn't scream out GAY to my parents and siblings I don't know what its going to take. Now don't get me wrong I'm not flaming gay, but I thinks its pretty obvious once people get to know me.
By the time I realized a mans body turned me on I had already had 2 huge crushes on 2 girls so I fooled myself into thinking that I was straight, it meant nothing. The two years that followed were so confusing. I slowly realized no woman had ever turned me on and the thought of sex with women was a bit repulsive, but at the same time having a meaningful relationship with a guy was a turn off. What was I to do? I wanted to someday have a relationship with a woman, I wanted to someday have a wife and kids, but women didn't turn me on. And at the same time I wanted a big muscled up man, but I just wanted his body, not love. I came to the conclusion that I must be bi and straight went out the window. I imagined myself 20 years in the future married...doing a guy in the side. I believed that would be my future for about a year and then things got more confusing. My mind finally asked Whats so wrong about loving a man? The only answer I could come to was It's just not right. That brought up why and slowly and then gradually all my preconceived notions relating to anything gay withered away. So Bi went out and Gay was in. Meanwhile I got another crush on a girl, but I now knew that I was gay, but this girl was driving me crazy(still no hard on though). So after all that confusion I came to the realization that labels are stupid. Sexuality IMO is not something as simple cut as Straight, Bi, Gay. I now see it as some sort of meter with 1 being 100% into girls with no thoughts of ever doing a guy and 10 being totally into guys with no thoughts of girls. I see myself in between an 8 and a 9.
By the time I realized a mans body turned me on I had already had 2 huge crushes on 2 girls so I fooled myself into thinking that I was straight, it meant nothing. The two years that followed were so confusing. I slowly realized no woman had ever turned me on and the thought of sex with women was a bit repulsive, but at the same time having a meaningful relationship with a guy was a turn off. What was I to do? I wanted to someday have a relationship with a woman, I wanted to someday have a wife and kids, but women didn't turn me on. And at the same time I wanted a big muscled up man, but I just wanted his body, not love. I came to the conclusion that I must be bi and straight went out the window. I imagined myself 20 years in the future married...doing a guy in the side. I believed that would be my future for about a year and then things got more confusing. My mind finally asked Whats so wrong about loving a man? The only answer I could come to was It's just not right. That brought up why and slowly and then gradually all my preconceived notions relating to anything gay withered away. So Bi went out and Gay was in. Meanwhile I got another crush on a girl, but I now knew that I was gay, but this girl was driving me crazy(still no hard on though). So after all that confusion I came to the realization that labels are stupid. Sexuality IMO is not something as simple cut as Straight, Bi, Gay. I now see it as some sort of meter with 1 being 100% into girls with no thoughts of ever doing a guy and 10 being totally into guys with no thoughts of girls. I see myself in between an 8 and a 9.
samus4ever
Banned
most of my friends in elemetary school at first were girls, but i'm not gay. I guess I was just a P.I.M.P in grade school.
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
I think even straight guys go through this phase, if it is a phase of course. Lots of straight guys won't admit it, but they most likely had some questions about their sexuality. I've wondered sometimes... I remember the first time I got attention from a gay guy. My first impulse was to freak out and act all macho in front of my friends, but then I had to think about what was happening and calmed down. I just said "Ha, nah I'm straight" and moved on. I'm glad to get attention, male or female. At least that way you know you're doing something right.
I had to wake up and realize that being around gay culture doesn't make you gay. A friend of mine didn't tell me he was gay, maybe because he thought I would freak out. But I'm glad that I found out about it and told him it really wasn't a big deal.
It must be tough being gay in high school. Those are years that are confusing even when you're straight...my friend was telling me how a guy that he made out with at a party started telling people that it never happen. He really liked that guy and then the douche goes and does something shady like that.
I had to wake up and realize that being around gay culture doesn't make you gay. A friend of mine didn't tell me he was gay, maybe because he thought I would freak out. But I'm glad that I found out about it and told him it really wasn't a big deal.
It must be tough being gay in high school. Those are years that are confusing even when you're straight...my friend was telling me how a guy that he made out with at a party started telling people that it never happen. He really liked that guy and then the douche goes and does something shady like that.
Mercury Fred
Banned
I had a sense that I was different very early on, around age six or so. By seventh grade, I was definitely attracted to other boys and it all started to make sense to me. I came out to close friends when I was 16, although I was 18 before I even messed around with another guy.
The best advice that I can give you is that you can be whoever you want to be. Being gay doesn't mean that you now have a gay script that you need to follow. I felt very alienated when I realized that I was gay. It was because when I regarded gay stereotypes, I didn't see myself reflected back, nor did I want to. If you want to be a guy who likes guys and is into anime, monster trucks, Marxism and the color orange, you can be that. It's still your life and if you are gay, that's simply one component, not the whole thing. I think one of the problems with mainstream images of gayness is that they're quite limited. I like indie rock and criticial theory, and getting into a mosh pit and writing and DJing. I'm also kind of a slob. The Queer Eye stuff doesn't need to be you. If it speaks to you, great, it's there to work with; however, you're certainly under no obligation to live up to some standard of gayness.
Sometimes life needs you to be a little honest and a little brave. You might be in a scary place right now, but there's so much good stuff waiting for you regardless of who you end up being. Don't let fear keep you back from finding out.
EDIT
The "I've never questioned my sexuality and I feel a need to put that in this thread" posts are derailing what's been a fairly interesting and hopefully helpful thread.
The best advice that I can give you is that you can be whoever you want to be. Being gay doesn't mean that you now have a gay script that you need to follow. I felt very alienated when I realized that I was gay. It was because when I regarded gay stereotypes, I didn't see myself reflected back, nor did I want to. If you want to be a guy who likes guys and is into anime, monster trucks, Marxism and the color orange, you can be that. It's still your life and if you are gay, that's simply one component, not the whole thing. I think one of the problems with mainstream images of gayness is that they're quite limited. I like indie rock and criticial theory, and getting into a mosh pit and writing and DJing. I'm also kind of a slob. The Queer Eye stuff doesn't need to be you. If it speaks to you, great, it's there to work with; however, you're certainly under no obligation to live up to some standard of gayness.
Sometimes life needs you to be a little honest and a little brave. You might be in a scary place right now, but there's so much good stuff waiting for you regardless of who you end up being. Don't let fear keep you back from finding out.
EDIT
The "I've never questioned my sexuality and I feel a need to put that in this thread" posts are derailing what's been a fairly interesting and hopefully helpful thread.
Semjaza Azazel
Member
miyuru said:
Yeah, it honestly hasn't happened. I'll admit if a guy looks good, but I've never been consciously interested in any males. I've not questioned that at all. It's always been girls.
Anyway, the whole "gay scene" thing mentioned in here caught my attention. It's a shame that it has to be dealt with by gay people... I imagine it can do more harm than good in many cases. I don't think about someone being gay beyond simply what it is: them being interested in other guys. I don't get why it should really affect anything else.
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
miyuru said:
Mr. Macho, woof. :lol
Warm Machine
Member
Whatever happens, don't adopt the accent!
videogamer
Banned
DarthWufei said:
Pretty much the same thing happened to me. I had like 3 guy crushes, but I didnt' know that they were crushes.... it just seemed to be like some kind of "friendship" where my heart would beat harder and I just wanted to get to know them better.
Also:
1. like other posters have said, I just knew I was "different" from a young age.
2. My 2nd year in college, I met a "friend". We became really close and one day he told me that he had feelings for me (which I shared). After thinking for quite a while, I figured out that all those guy "friends" I met... they were really guys that I "liked". It was like the catalyst that got me to think about my past and what I thought about others.
3. I'm still in the closet, but I've been told that I'm a flamer. That totally sucks because that's the opposite of what I want to be... but it's so weird that I somehow developed this personality.
Ditto on that no. I've never for more than....2 and a half seconds in my life given any thought to the possibility that I may be homosexual instead of heterosexual. I think it's just something some gay people like to think, as well as the whole "1 in 3 people are gay!" horse shit.miyuru said:
Spiritreaver
Member
miyuru said:
I agree with you to an extent, but only that not all straight guys go through this. That's true of course, I know of straight guys who have always been into girls. But it is NOT uncommon for a straight guy to go through a phase, even slightly. In fact I find it to be more common than not, but only by a small margin not that a vast majority do. I cannot count how many guys have come up to me talking about said feelings about said guy and asking me if they were gay. It happens to me every week just about. Usually the case is that these guys will end up straight.
At the same time, you're not going to find very many straight guys who will admit. So it doesn't seem common at all. Like I said though, it's common, very common, but not much of a majority.
Manabanana
Member
I've questioned myself before. It was just a phase for me. I can tell really easily whether or not I think a male is attractive, but I have a harder time saying a female is attractive. Not that I don't find them attractive, it's just that I'm more comfortable saying so with males. I know what I want to look like, and what features I find attractive in men so I can judge that more easily. I have control over myself, and I can dress a certain way or get a different haircut or whatever to look how I want to look. Since I'm not female, I have a harder time picking specific desireable traits. Makes more sense to me, but I'm not a typical guy
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
I went through a phase. I didn't find men sexually attractive, but I just wondered if I would end up gay. I don't know, I've always wondered if their was like a trigger or something. I guess I just questioned myself because I wasn't freaked out by homosexuals as much as most of the guys I hung out with. That kinda made me wonder if that was some deep urge to be gay.
And I remember by 8t grade science teacher saying something really weird. During sex ed, she said that any guy that asks a girl to have anal sex must be in the closet. That statement just never seemed right to me, and was another reason for me to wonder sometimes. I've had anal sex with a girl...was that another secret urge that I hadn't yet dealt with?
I'm not worried these days, something would have clicked by now. I didn't know so many of you guys found out so young. I expected age ranges like 17 and 18, interesting stuff.
And I remember by 8t grade science teacher saying something really weird. During sex ed, she said that any guy that asks a girl to have anal sex must be in the closet. That statement just never seemed right to me, and was another reason for me to wonder sometimes. I've had anal sex with a girl...was that another secret urge that I hadn't yet dealt with?
I'm not worried these days, something would have clicked by now. I didn't know so many of you guys found out so young. I expected age ranges like 17 and 18, interesting stuff.
Star Power said:
i know i did, but i cant say im straight either. i know im "not gay". but i was never sure that im 100% straight...so dont worry the rest of you macho men! your sexuality is intact!
i wish this other sexuality was more well defined and accepted.
"hi there, im not gay, nice to meet you!".
Manabanana
Member
Grizzlyjin said:
Hah, yeah maybe I should have clarified. I was never sexually attracted men, but then again I'm not really sexually attracted to women without being in the mood. I wouldn't think it's healthy to leave the house everyday looking to spread your seed.
norinrad21
Banned
What if you found someone really attractive and you later found out that person used to be a He. Does that make you gay?
CajoleJuice
Member
What kind of friends did you have?etiolate said:
Scrow said:
Exaclty -- often times homosexuality is associated with the more dramatic members of the group
I mean, after all, they are the most vocal. ^_^ You'd be amazed at how many gay guys would never register under you radar because they don't fit into what's stereotypically gay.
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