We need to get rid of abstinence-only sex education, and instead employ a much more comprehensive and intelligent system. No bullshit, and especially no religious doctrine crap. Just give people the facts, and let them make their own decisions. Tommy and Jane, a 15-year old hypothetical couple, are going to have sex if they want to, so it'd be best to make sure that they make good choices.
So we'd have:
"You're right, Tommy. Condoms are inconvenient and may even 'reduce sensations'. But are you ready, at age 15, to be a father? Are you aware of the diseases you may be infected with as a result of unprotected sex? Sex is OK, just make sure that you use protection."
instead of...
"Jane, listen. You wait until marriage to have sex. Sex is something incredibly special that should only be shared with your life partner! Your virginity is a gift, and no man wants a girl that's already given hers away."
OR EVEN WORSE...
"Jane, Tommy, listen. You will get AIDS if you have premaritial sex. You'll both go to hell after you die a sinner's death!" *
*based on things actually taught to kids
The key point is that it's fine to have sex while you're young, and it's fine to wait until you're in your early 20's. If you have sex at a young age, you should use protection, and you should be ready to deal with possible emotional consequences. If that's something you want to do, then go for it, and have fun! And if you take the "only for very serious relationships" standpoint, that's cool too.
I read this Jessica Alba interview a while back where she was talking about how she didn't have a problem with wanting casual sex. It was interesting, because other people that read that were like, "OMFG SHE'S TEH SLUT!1111!". Who the hell cares? She's hot, young, and thus has the ability to sleep with lots of hot celebrity guys. She's chosen to use her "God-given" advantage, and has had a lot of fun. If she's using protection and there's no "emotional trauma" involved, that's totally fine by me. What's the problem? It's her choice.
People just need to chill out about sex. To some people, like Jessica Alba, sex is a pleasurable activity, and they take part in it when they can. That's fine! To others, it carries a much more emotional context, and is thus more "special". That's fine too!
I'm sick and tired of casual sex enthusiasts being like, "Shit man, ____ needs to get laid!" when they're judging "sex is special" people. And when "sex is special" people are like, "___ is a slut!", that's just as bad. Don't enforce your goddamned beliefs on others.
Then on one hand we have parents (some with Bibles in hand) screeching about waiting until marriage. On the other hand are movies like American Pie that basically give youngsters the impression that virginity is something to be ashamed of.
Just relax, folks. You don't need to wait until marriage if you don't want to. And you don't have to worry if you're older and haven't chosen to have sex yet. IT'S OKAY. Enough of this "wait until marriage or else!" and "that's fucked up that you haven't gotten laid by age 21" crap.
Give people the facts, stress that they need to be responsible, let them make their own decisions, and don't be judgmental about the choices they make.
At my elementary school, I remember this clip from one of the sex ed videos. It was really simple- it said, "Some boys masturbate- AND THAT'S OK! Some boys don't masturbate- AND THAT'S OK TOO!"
The fact that the video was honest and didn't try to be like, "ALL boys masturbate!" or "you'll get hairy palms and go blind if you masturbate!" went a long ways. I remember thinking that it was really cool that they just gave you the truth instead of biased information, in addition to making it quite clear that whatever choice you made, IT WAS OK!
I think we need to see more of that approach.
So we'd have:
"You're right, Tommy. Condoms are inconvenient and may even 'reduce sensations'. But are you ready, at age 15, to be a father? Are you aware of the diseases you may be infected with as a result of unprotected sex? Sex is OK, just make sure that you use protection."
instead of...
"Jane, listen. You wait until marriage to have sex. Sex is something incredibly special that should only be shared with your life partner! Your virginity is a gift, and no man wants a girl that's already given hers away."
OR EVEN WORSE...
"Jane, Tommy, listen. You will get AIDS if you have premaritial sex. You'll both go to hell after you die a sinner's death!" *
*based on things actually taught to kids
The key point is that it's fine to have sex while you're young, and it's fine to wait until you're in your early 20's. If you have sex at a young age, you should use protection, and you should be ready to deal with possible emotional consequences. If that's something you want to do, then go for it, and have fun! And if you take the "only for very serious relationships" standpoint, that's cool too.
I read this Jessica Alba interview a while back where she was talking about how she didn't have a problem with wanting casual sex. It was interesting, because other people that read that were like, "OMFG SHE'S TEH SLUT!1111!". Who the hell cares? She's hot, young, and thus has the ability to sleep with lots of hot celebrity guys. She's chosen to use her "God-given" advantage, and has had a lot of fun. If she's using protection and there's no "emotional trauma" involved, that's totally fine by me. What's the problem? It's her choice.
People just need to chill out about sex. To some people, like Jessica Alba, sex is a pleasurable activity, and they take part in it when they can. That's fine! To others, it carries a much more emotional context, and is thus more "special". That's fine too!
I'm sick and tired of casual sex enthusiasts being like, "Shit man, ____ needs to get laid!" when they're judging "sex is special" people. And when "sex is special" people are like, "___ is a slut!", that's just as bad. Don't enforce your goddamned beliefs on others.
Then on one hand we have parents (some with Bibles in hand) screeching about waiting until marriage. On the other hand are movies like American Pie that basically give youngsters the impression that virginity is something to be ashamed of.
Just relax, folks. You don't need to wait until marriage if you don't want to. And you don't have to worry if you're older and haven't chosen to have sex yet. IT'S OKAY. Enough of this "wait until marriage or else!" and "that's fucked up that you haven't gotten laid by age 21" crap.
Give people the facts, stress that they need to be responsible, let them make their own decisions, and don't be judgmental about the choices they make.
At my elementary school, I remember this clip from one of the sex ed videos. It was really simple- it said, "Some boys masturbate- AND THAT'S OK! Some boys don't masturbate- AND THAT'S OK TOO!"
The fact that the video was honest and didn't try to be like, "ALL boys masturbate!" or "you'll get hairy palms and go blind if you masturbate!" went a long ways. I remember thinking that it was really cool that they just gave you the truth instead of biased information, in addition to making it quite clear that whatever choice you made, IT WAS OK!
I think we need to see more of that approach.