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[The Infectious Paradox]

Closest I've come is I was riding a skateboard once while holding onto a friend's Taho going down the road. I am NOT a skateboarder by any means, but I tripped and my head landed right in front of the wheel but I jerked back quick enough to prevent a bad ending.

Now, that's nothing, but I bet some of you have some wild ones. Share them if you're comfortable with it and make us all happy we're here to see another day.

 

[Platinumstorm]

I was putting in a new fence in the pasture with my dad. Historically we always use a bucket on a tractor to press the poles into the ground; it's way easier and faster, pretty safe.

I was on a hill and he was below me in a pasture he was renting. We put the post in without issue, but he didn't really think about the physics about what was going to happen when he pulled backwards. Thankfully I did. I dove to the ground as he started reversing and he failed to crush me.

I had a pretty bad medical issue in my early 20s; ER physician didn't believe me and I had to explain my rationale the next night, which proved myself right. I spent a little less than a week in the hospital before it was safe to operate on me.

I've had a few rattlesnake encounters that were a little riskier than the majority I have.

Face to face confrontations with various moose.

I had a patient call in death threats on me; not sure that really counts.

I had a guy come after me with a metal pipe after being really shady on a trail. I had to chase him away; was ... easier than expected.

 

[nush]

Head on collision with an SUV just two cars in front of us, if we had been traveling a little faster, made a turn a little quicker then that would have been us. Actually I'd been taking photos while we were driving and reviewed them afterwards and I can see the white car in front of us just minutes before they got hit.

 

[Happosai]

Hospitalized in 2016 for a rare type of Leukemia. It was progressive and apparently nearly zeroed out my white and red blood cells.

My wife was crying after the doctor gave her my blood results on day 2 in the hospital. She also started making phone calls. Some calls were to family and one to a top hemotologist from Texas.

The blood doc stated the source for cure (I had not been diagnosed which is why everyone's depression was a mystery to me at that time). He performed a bone marrow extraction and found the cause. By the way, bone marrow extraction they literally have to shove a giant needle into the pelvis.

I was put through a treatment and after 2-weeks was allowed to return home. My wife then told me that the first doctor upon not discovering what was rapidly killing of my blood cells had stated, "he'll die within a few days or a few hours."

 

[Meicyn]

Whitewater rafting on the Ocoee River in Tennessee. Fell off at one point and got sucked into the current and was stuck underwater. Kept trying to kick off the ground to give me momentum to resurface, but the current was too strong. Was close to panicking and I went down as low as I could go, did the equivalent of a frog jump with all the strength I had left. It was enough.

The Ocoee River was host to a canoeing event during the 1996 olympics. Probably not the best choice on my part for a novice. There have been plenty of folks who have drowned, being unable to resurface. I almost joined the statistics that day.

The rafting was fun as hell though, nearly dying aside.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Wasn’t serious, but in grade 3 I was riding my bike and my neighbour backed out the car and smack me right off the bike. I don’t think I ever told anyone.

But on a more serious note, I almost drowned in my friends pool. If his big brother wasnt home to fish me out I would been dead at age 7.

 

[ahtlas7]

Fell through ice while walking on a frozen pond. My brother was able to get me out and saved me from drowning. I was like 12 and had just a few months prior survived bacterial Meningitis.

 

[Doom85]

Tire blew while driving in the heavy rain on the freeway. Was going below the speed limit but still caused my car to spin out of control. Might not have been a near death experience but those few seconds of spinning felt legit perilous yet it caused a bizarre peace inside me. Guess it might be reassuring that when I do die someday, hopefully at an old age, I can be at peace with it.

Years later, got slammed into by a semi. This did cause me pure terror because he turned straight into my car door and I thought I was going to get totally crushed but thankfully he realized his mistake in time and got back in his lane. I had just entered the freeway and I guess he must have missed seeing me enter because merely being in his blind spot for a second caused him to assume he was okay to get in the right lane. Luckily I was unhurt and my insurance fully covered the door repair.

Had a tornado get dangerously close to the house. Ended up with some roof damage, but luckily it was all fixed within a week, however a few people mere blocks always either had their home damaged beyond repair or required far more extensive repairs. The people right next to me had to get a garage door replaced as the wind was so strong it hurled their nearly full trash can straight into the door.

 

[The Infectious Paradox]

I had a patient call in death threats on me; not sure that really counts.

Please tell me about the context of the patient calling in death threats on you. That sounds wilddd.

 

[Platinumstorm]

I wish it was interesting.

It was just a person going off about the covid vaccine conspiracies, telling the people answering the phones that I needed to leave the state, built up to a nonspecific threat that someone was going to kill me.

I never heard any of the calls.

These calls weren't uncommon for healthcare providers.

 

[IDKFA]

I once had a routine operation to blast away some kidney stones. Unfortunately, the operation went wrong and they damaged my kidney.

However, they didn't know this when the operation was over. After the operation, I was uncontrollably pissing blood, which the hospital didn't seem to be concerned with. The next day I went back into hospital with pain that was even worse than kidney stones.

After leaving me in agony for a day and watching my stomach expand and bloat, they finally did an x-ray after my wife begged them to do something quicker. Theyfound I was leaking blood and kidney fluid into my bladder and I had sepsis. I needed an emergency operation and was in hospital for two weeks after that.

If my wife hadn't begged them to take urgent action I'm pretty sure I'd be dead.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

I almost od'd last summer.

 

[Warnen]

I was turning at a light when an old lady in a tank (old ass caddy) ran the light and tboned me. If I didn’t slam on the gas would have killed me for sure. Thankfully most of the impact hit the rear of the car and I got off with a neck injury and broken thumb…. Oh my mustang was totaled too.

 

[Maestr0]

None, so far.

 

[Kurotri]

I was crossing the road with headphones on and was pretty zoned out. Somehow I didn't see a large truck driving towards me from my left. At that point I was still oblivious (don't ask me how) and just had a feeling that I should stop for a second, so I do. All of a sudden I see a large truck drive by right in front of my face and I'm like "lol almost died. whatever".

Something similar happened, again while I have headphones, only this time it's a car. I cross the road, cars are still driving but I calculate that I'd be fast enough to get over (I'm bad at math btw) before one actually hits me. Then it hits me. I roll over and thankfully the crash wasn't hard or anything, but it felt very weird. One second you are fine the other you suddenly see the world turning upside down. Mind you this was on a wider road with like 2 lanes and I was just lying there. Some more bad luck and... yeah. The guy steps out and didn't even seem that fazed for some reason, but still offered me to drive to the hospital. I declined (???) and just walked it off.

Reading this you might think I'm retarded but have no fear, it's been about 10+ years and I have matured a bit.

 

[Happosai]

I was putting in a new fence in the pasture with my dad. Historically we always use a bucket on a tractor to press the poles into the ground; it's way easier and faster, pretty safe.

I was on a hill and he was below me in a pasture he was renting. We put the post in without issue, but he didn't really think about the physics about what was going to happen when he pulled backwards. Thankfully I did. I dove to the ground as he started reversing and he failed to crush me.

I had a pretty bad medical issue in my early 20s; ER physician didn't believe me and I had to explain my rationale the next night, which proved myself right. I spent a little less than a week in the hospital before it was safe to operate on me.

I've had a few rattlesnake encounters that were a little riskier than the majority I have.

Face to face confrontations with various moose.

I had a patient call in death threats on me; not sure that really counts.

I had a guy come after me with a metal pipe after being really shady on a trail. I had to chase him away; was ... easier than expected.

Farm accident? That's familiar...

My Dad's a real estate owner and founder of a large agricultural business. I started working part-time at age 12 and well on into my teens in the field with grain farmers. My Grandfather started the business and was about 70 when I was 16-years old. He'd been told by his doctors to retire a couple years prior but he refused. I was on the back of a seed truck and just finished refilling the planter. My grandfather was running the tractor with the planter attached. I haven't been on a farm in years but the planters back then commonly had these long mantid like disc markers. Powered and only held up by hydraulics and triggered by a simply switch in the cab. The discs were like 60" in diameter and the weight of each arm about 300 lbs.

He was pulling away from the truck as I was turning to tie the seed back down. All of the sudden I see something come flying behind be just behind my head and slam full force into the back of the truck. My grandfather accidentally released the right side marker and the disc passed within inches of my head. Had the disc made contact...I would have been partially or completely decapitated. On the bright side, if I was marked for death then...I likely would have never known what hit me.

 

[Putonahappyface]

I had kick back on a chainsaw once while doing a bore cut and it went straight into my left leg. If it wasn't for my P.P.E Husqvarna chainsaw trousers, there is a good chance I would have either amputated my leg or bleed out to death.

 

[eddie4]

Fleeing a war-torn country, hiking through forests, and ending up in the US.

 

[AlteredForms]

I was once attacked by a German Shepard as the scumbag owners looked on. I was around 14/15 at the time, it came in front of me barking and pounced. I was screaming like a little bitch as it ravaged my back, but fortunately the whole ordeal lasted like 10-15 seconds and I ran away as a result. What's most disturbing is that the owners were kids, no doubt that dog was mistreated and the children raised to hate everybody around them.

 

[F0rneus]

I had delirium tremens once and was at 50% chance of living. Really strong hallucinations and incredible pain.

 

[mitch1971]

I was once attacked by a German Shepard as the scumbag owners looked on. I was around 14/15 at the time, it came in front of me barking and pounced. I was screaming like a little bitch as it ravaged my back, but fortunately the whole ordeal lasted like 10-15 seconds and I ran away as a result. What's most disturbing is that the owners were kids, no doubt that dog was mistreated and the children raised to hate everybody around them.

I was riding my bike when I was really young and on crossing the road with my mother a car whizzed past and nearly ran me over. My mother, who I would say was a bit mental when she was younger, noticed the car turning into a pub carpark. She ran into the pub scream along the lines of get that bitch out from behind the bar (she was the owner). She wouldnt come out so my mother went round the back of the pub to try the backdoor. The woman came out of the back door with her German Shepard in tow. Next thing I knew the dog lept at me and bit right into my stomach. Let's just say my mother went full on psycho.

After a shift at work, a couple of friends and I shared a blackcab (uk taxi) home. I sat on the pull down seat behind the driver. I was the first to alite the taxi which then went on it's way. The next day in work I heard my friends say that a few minutes after leaving them, a car rammed into the side of the taxi, crushing the door and the seat I was sat in moments ago.

My mother went to meet one of her sisters at a place she was working that had industrial mangles for ironing large quantities of cloth etc. Me being tiny, around 4 or 5, and inquisitive, I slipped out of my mothers sight as she was talking, walked over to a large mangle, facinated by the hot rolling bars and....stuck my hands on the roller. The heat glued my hands to the roller. I screamed and my mother ran over and ripped my hands from the machine, leaving a nice pair of hand shaped skin on the rollers. The guy in charge used somekind of yellowish jelly substance to cool down my bubbling palms. My life would of been a lot different if I was left for a few seconds more on that roller.

 

[Dynasty8]

Going to the beach with friends years ago. Being the dumb 21 year old I was back then, went a bit too far out swimming and winds started going crazy. Strong waves hitting me back and forth and keeping me down spiriling under water for nearly a minute without any way to get back up. It was by complete luck that the wind changed its course towards the beach... I was spinning so much that I nearly blacked out while I was underwater before I was able to gasp a few seconds of air to regain my strength. I've never been more scared in my life and it was definitely a wake up call for me.

 

[AlteredForms]

I was riding my bike when I was really young and on crossing the road with my mother a car whizzed past and nearly ran me over. My mother, who I would say was a bit mental when she was younger, noticed the car turning into a pub carpark. She ran into the pub scream along the lines of get that bitch out from behind the bar (she was the owner). She wouldnt come out so my mother went round the back of the pub to try the backdoor. The woman came out of the back door with her German Shepard in tow. Next thing I knew the dog lept at me and bit right into my stomach. Let's just say my mother went full on psycho.

That's the type of stuff that people lose their lives over. Cut somebody off on the highway and occasionally a crazy bastard will follow you in order to get payback. Hope that dog didn't take too much of a bite of you. Should have just walked away as sometimes things can go real bad without you knowing.

 

[Bragr]

Fell through ice while walking on a frozen pond.

This happened to me too, when I was around 10. Luckily, I got a grip on the edge of the ice and someone got my hand and pulled me up. I remember feeling I couldn't hold on, I was very close to getting sucked under.

It's odd because I didn't think too much of it back then, but when you get older, you think about the call my parents would have gotten, about their kid going under the ice. That's the fucked up part.

 

[Bragr]

Going to the beach with friends years ago. Being the dumb 21 year old I was back then, went a bit too far out swimming and winds started going crazy. Strong waves hitting me back and forth and keeping me down spiriling under water for nearly a minute without any way to get back up. It was by complete luck that the wind changed its course towards the beach... I was spinning to much that I nearly blacked out while I was underwater before I was able to gasp a few seconds of air to regain my strength. I've never been more scared in my life and it was definitely a wake up call for me.

Yeah, the ocean is scary, it's easy to forget that it's hundreds of tons of liquid around you, and if it starts moving, you can't do a fucking thing.

 

[The Infectious Paradox]

I wish it was interesting.

It was just a person going off about the covid vaccine conspiracies, telling the people answering the phones that I needed to leave the state, built up to a nonspecific threat that someone was going to kill me.

I never heard any of the calls.

These calls weren't uncommon for healthcare providers.

Mad respect for Healthcare workers during covid time

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Fell through ice while walking on a frozen pond. My brother was able to get me out and saved me from drowning. I was like 12 and had just a few months prior survived bacterial Meningitis.

I would never do that if it was a deep pond.

All I remember is watching Gorky Park and remembering that ice scene (I think it was that movie?).

 

[TheInfamousKira]

Mine are (relatively) tame.

I had a stroke at age 27. Didn't go to the hospital for two days. Went to work. Got fired. Walked three miles home, passed out. Woke up nine hours later and got a friend to take me to the hospital, where I stayed for a week.

Last year, I also had a week stay for pulmonary embolisms.

My blood is funky.

 

[Hawking Radiation]

Incident 1:

Me, my sisters and my dad were on our way to pick up our mom from the airport.

We were driving in a Toyota van that we just recently bought and on the highway to the airport where my dad decided to overtake an 18 wheeler truck on a long bend. After moving over into the oncoming lane to overtake, another 18 wheeler appeared out of nowhere in the distance and our van was struggling for power to get past the truck we were trying to overtake.

So the two trucks (realizing there's no room to allow this van through) start moving half onto the shoulder and road in both lanes and I go blank. Everyone goes quiet as all I'm seeing are these huge truck wheels flashing through the windows on either side of the van.

The whole way to the airport no one says nothing. Its dead quiet in our van. I cried when i saw my mom at the airport arrivals gate because had those trucks not moved over, we for sure would have died.

----------

Incident 2:

I'm from South Africa and most know that crime is quite high in our country.
Was playing a game of cricket with friends on a nearby school field in a gang neibourghood where i grew up.

Two cars come speeding around a corner and In the corner of my eye i see someone's arm out the window of one of the cars start shooting at the car in front and everyone of my friends start throwing themselves to flat to the ground (myself included) cause we can hear the bullets wizzing over our heads.

Took me a while to get back up off the ground even after the cars had already passed by. Never went back to that cricket pitch again after that but I still visit my family in that area and occasionally still hear gunshots going off from time to time as gangs fight for control or territory. Yes sometimes people get hit in the crossfire and that's always on my mind when visiting there. So I always stay in doors when I'm in that area.

 

[TerribleAtThisGame]

Had a glass door explode in front of me on a job site many years back. Ripped up my forearm, lost two fingertips and many glass chunks all over my upper body. Also had some hearing damage in one ear. I almost bled out but gladly I'm still here to shitpost on NeoGAF!

 

[DGrayson]

Nothing too serious. But I did dive head first into a pretty shallow pool, prob about 4 feet-ish. I was trying to do a shallow dive, I have done that thousands of times. This time I was too steep and hit my head pretty hard on the bottom. Nothing serious but I sometimes think if it was a couple degrees steeper I might have broken my neck like you read about.

NO DIVING IN SHALLOW WATER.

 

[AlteredForms]

Had a glass door explode in front of me on a job site many years back. Ripped up my forearm, lost two fingertips and many glass chunks all over my upper body. Also had some hearing damage in one ear. I almost bled out but gladly I'm still here to shitpost on NeoGAF!

Man that's some metal shit. Just like in the movies.

 

[BadBurger]

I grew up in the southern US. I'm not saying we're all dumb hillbilly's but the southern life seems to invite danger:

• I almost drowned at least three times while surfing and being struck by other surfers. Also used to leap off the nearby pier during hurricanes just to catch the best waves
• While hunting out in Shenandoah Valley another hunter took two shots at me. The first was like "was that a gun shot?", and then after the second I was like "Stop shooting you idiot I am a human!". Or something. I forget exactly what I yelled only that I was terrified obviously
• We have a lot of train trestles around for some reason, and as teenagers we often lept off of them into adjacent bodies of water. Obviously not a good idea and we often landed on floating objects in the water that we couldn't see in the dark while drunk
• I've been in the midst of three or four gunfights, mostly in the neighborhoods I grew up in. I was never a banger or anything, just growing up poor in the south and all

 

[The Infectious Paradox]

Mine are (relatively) tame.

I had a stroke at age 27. Didn't go to the hospital for two days. Went to work. Got fired. Walked three miles home, passed out. Woke up nine hours later and got a friend to take me to the hospital, where I stayed for a week.

Last year, I also had a week stay for pulmonary embolisms.

My blood is funky.

Daaamn man. Some people's bodies are just ticking time bombs for no reason. Sorry to hear that. Hope you're well now. Also whyd they fire you??

Incident 1:

Me, my sisters and my dad were on our way to pick up our mom from the airport.

We were driving in a Toyota van that we just recently bought and on the highway to the airport where my dad decided to overtake an 18 wheeler truck on a long bend. After moving over into the oncoming lane to overtake, another 18 wheeler appeared out of nowhere in the distance and our van was struggling for power to get past the truck we were trying to overtake.

So the two trucks (realizing there's no room to allow this van through) start moving half onto the shoulder and road in both lanes and I go blank. Everyone goes quiet as all I'm seeing are these huge truck wheels flashing through the windows on either side of the van.

The whole way to the airport no one says nothing. Its dead quiet in our van. I cried when i saw my mom at the airport arrivals gate because had those trucks not moved over, we for sure would have died.

----------

Incident 2:

I'm from South Africa and most know that crime is quite high in our country.
Was playing a game of cricket with friends on a nearby school field in a gang neibourghood where i grew up.

Two cars come speeding around a corner and In the corner of my eye i see someone's arm out the window of one of the cars start shooting at the car in front and everyone of my friends start throwing themselves to flat to the ground (myself included) cause we can hear the bullets wizzing over our heads.

Took me a while to get back up off the ground even after the cars had already passed by. Never went back to that cricket pitch again after that but I still visit my family in that area and occasionally still hear gunshots going off from time to time as gangs fight for control or territory. Yes sometimes people get hit in the crossfire and that's always on my mind when visiting there. So I always stay in doors when I'm in that area.

That sounds so terrifying. I've never bean held up or around that kind of gunfire. I can't even imagine what that was like

 

[StreetsofBeige]

I grew up in the southern US. I'm not saying we're all dumb hillbilly's but the southern life seems to invite danger:

• I almost drowned at least three times while surfing and being struck by other surfers. Also used to leap off the nearby pier during hurricanes just to catch the best waves
• While hunting out in Shenandoah Valley another hunter took two shots at me. The first was like "was that a gun shot?", and then after the second I was like "Stop shooting you idiot I am a human!". Or something. I forget exactly what I yelled only that I was terrified obviously
• We have a lot of train trestles around for some reason, and as teenagers we often lept off of them into adjacent bodies of water. Obviously not a good idea and we often landed on floating objects in the water that we couldn't see in the dark while drunk
• I've been in the midst of three or four gunfights, mostly in the neighborhoods I grew up in. I was never a banger or anything, just growing up poor in the south and all

I dont know anything about surfing. And the only time I see it is if a sports channel is showing surfing competitions where it's one guy at a time doing it.

But who knew surfers bang into other surfers. As a non-surfer, I would had thought a sport like that people keep their distance as some kind of unofficial law of surfing among surfers (water etiquette kind of thng).

 

[TheInfamousKira]

Daaamn man. Some people's bodies are just ticking time bombs for no reason. Sorry to hear that. Hope you're well now. Also whyd they fire you??

Haha, yeah, it was at a point in time when I wasn't really taking care of myself well, it just didn't dawn on me that people my age even HAD strokes, so I was convinced I just had pneumonia or something and was going to wait it out.

I got fired, hahaha, because I was working in a kitchen at the time, and I'm not a braggart, but I can work my way around a kitchen pretty quickly. Well, that day, I was literally just standing there in one spot, not doing anything. My employer confronted me about it, but by that point, I had aphasia BAD. So he'd ask me why I wasn't doing anything, and I'd tell him "I don't know, something is wrong with me," but it would come out in a sentence like "I can't have the work I have sickness," or some shit that was RIGHT on the cusp of what I was trying to sat, but my brain just picked the wrong words to speak, while I was consciously clearly aware that I was speaking total bullshit. Like...your mind, that little inner voice in your head, mine was completely on point, firing on all cylinders, but I just COULDN'T make myself speak correctly. So tl;dr: dude canned me because he thought I was on crack. He later learned his error and corrected it, but it was kinda lulzy when it happened.

And yes, thank you! I'm doing much much better now. As far as strokes go, I was blessed with the recovery and the amount of lasting damage. Basically, I get tongue tied a bit more often, sometimes when I type, I leave a word or two out of a sentence accidentally, and I have some numbness/nerve damage to the right side of my body, mostly manifests in a tingly/ice cold right hand/foot, but again, thank the gods, I'm left handed, so all in all, can't and won't complain.

 

[The Infectious Paradox]

Haha, yeah, it was at a point in time when I wasn't really taking care of myself well, it just didn't dawn on me that people my age even HAD strokes, so I was convinced I just had pneumonia or something and was going to wait it out.

I got fired, hahaha, because I was working in a kitchen at the time, and I'm not a braggart, but I can work my way around a kitchen pretty quickly. Well, that day, I was literally just standing there in one spot, not doing anything. My employer confronted me about it, but by that point, I had aphasia BAD. So he'd ask me why I wasn't doing anything, and I'd tell him "I don't know, something is wrong with me," but it would come out in a sentence like "I can't have the work I have sickness," or some shit that was RIGHT on the cusp of what I was trying to sat, but my brain just picked the wrong words to speak, while I was consciously clearly aware that I was speaking total bullshit. Like...your mind, that little inner voice in your head, mine was completely on point, firing on all cylinders, but I just COULDN'T make myself speak correctly. So tl;dr: dude canned me because he thought I was on crack. He later learned his error and corrected it, but it was kinda lulzy when it happened.

And yes, thank you! I'm doing much much better now. As far as strokes go, I was blessed with the recovery and the amount of lasting damage. Basically, I get tongue tied a bit more often, sometimes when I type, I leave a word or two out of a sentence accidentally, and I have some numbness/nerve damage to the right side of my body, mostly manifests in a tingly/ice cold right hand/foot, but again, thank the gods, I'm left handed, so all in all, can't and won't complain.

Dude that is so wild. I work with a lot of people that had strokes, so I cam definitely empathize with your plight. I'm so glad your boss was understanding of the situation. I'm glad you're doing better. Just please always take care of yourself. People that had strokes are always prone to have more. But I'm rooting for you buddy.

 

[01011001]

I had none...

thank you very much for coming to my Ted talk!

 

[jshackles]

I've got several

Most serious one - I was 16 and fucking around in a parking lot with my friends outside my usual hangout spot after some late night Magic: The Gathering. We're all sitting on the back of one of my friend's car, and I guess he got all pissy and stormed off in a huff, quickly started the engine, and sped off. There were three of us on the back trunk - and I was in the middle. My friends on either side of me were able to jump off in time, but I wasn't. I was able to hold on a bit, while he apparently thought it was funny and fishtailed across the parking lot taking a wide turn which threw me off the car (he was an asshole, obviously) and on to the pavement at about 30mph. I don't remember any of this, because I had a massive concussion. Thankfully, this happened only about 3 blocks from the EMS depot - my friends were able to run and get help quickly, and I was taken to the hospital post-haste. The guy in the car sped off and didn't even help. I slipped in and out of consciousness for nearly three weeks, and only had short-term memory. They thought it might be permanent. I finally came around and was able to start forming long-term memories (longer than 10-15 minutes) after around a month. Still have a masssssive scar where my face split open, it's one of the reasons I keep my beard grown out even now, like 30 some-odd years later.

Less serious stuff includes such hits as the time some people were camped outside my apartment building with a rifle and I overheard them talking about killing my neighbor. I called the cops and tried to flee the scene, but they caught sight of me and started chasing me down. Thankfully the cops were fuckin quick and pulled up in time for them to not hurt or kill me.

I was also in a gang-related shootout once. Not nearly as fun or exciting as they make it out to be in the movies.

As a kid, I encountered a crazy person in the wood behind our house. He had an axe and started chasing me, but I was faster than he was. He looked like Charles Mansion with no shirt on, crazy tattoos, etc. Probably methed out. I was small but agile, and outran him. Called the cops when I got home, they found and arrested him.

Was at a concert once where there was a random crowd shooting. Three people died, thankfully I wasn't one of them.

There are also indirect, but damn close calls I've had. My best friend was killed when I was 20 - we both worked at the same factory and usually went to lunch together with "the crew". This particular day, I didn't feel like eating out, so I stayed behind and munched some chocolate donuts from the vending machine. On their way back to the factory, they were in a car accident that killed my friend (who was also my roommate at the time). The other guys were hurt, but lived. It's like - the one fuckin' day I don't go along with them for lunch, that happens. Could have easily gone the other way, and that could have been me that he buried instead.

 

[Hawking Radiation]

Daaamn man. Some people's bodies are just ticking time bombs for no reason. Sorry to hear that. Hope you're well now. Also whyd they fire you??
That sounds so terrifying. I've never bean held up or around that kind of gunfire. I can't even imagine what that was like

You can hear the bullets zipping by overhead. It was the first and only time in my life that I was ever near or around live gunfire. Its a horrible sound.

At that stage i just went blank. Didn't think, wasn't in the moment, just wasn't at all present. Just threw myself down and stayed down until my friends helped me up. I guess the shock of what's happening around me numbed me completely.

After that I did witness many times kids using firearms against each other because the gang leaders in that area often hire kids to do their dirty work by selling drugs and taking out other gangsters.
Thankfully nowadays i was told by my family living in that area that things have calmed down a bit since one of the main gang leaders got arrested and his business was effectively shut down. But you know with these things that another gang will move in or something to try and claim territory. Just the way things are.

 

[poodaddy]

Got in a wreck when I was younger and my head bashed out the windshield completely. The cop said I was lucky, as if my head fine through it instead of knocking it out, it would have slit my throat, so in a sense the concussion saved my life.

Got chased by a 300 pound pig after I scared it, and honestly I deserved that one. It was fuckin terrifying though seriously. Pigs have fuck off sharp teeth, and he was screaming while chasing me. Chased me down two flights of stairs and tried to bash down a door that I locked myself behind. It was straight up horrifying man, but whenever I tell the story it makes people laugh hard enough to draw tears lol. Guess it's one that's funny to hear about, not funny to experience. I have a whole new respect for pigs now....and their distaste for being jump scared.

Got alcohol poisoning when I was younger. Very fucking unfun, 0/10, I highly recommend avoiding, fuck that forever I thought I was gonna die. I was swallowing my tongue, couldn't walk or talk, and had to be watched after being dragged to bed as I couldn't stop projectile vomiting for over an hour. Binge drinking is fucking asinine, never again. Fun fact: if you eat nothing but Halloween Peeps and get alcohol poisoning, all your throw up will be dark purple, causing your friends to both freak out and laugh at you really hard. Food for thought.

Had an idiot skateboarder pull a knife on me in Gatlinburg TN, but the knife visually wobbled man lol. So not sure that counts, particularly because I laughed at him and had two friends with me, and he did nothing more than talk. Sticks to my mind as a funny one though.

 

[TheInfamousKira]

Got in a wreck when I was younger and my head bashed out the windshield completely. The cop said I was lucky, as if my head fine through it instead of knocking it out, it would have slit my throat, so in a sense the concussion saved my life.

Got chased by a 300 pound pig after I scared it, and honestly I deserved that one. It was fuckin terrifying though seriously. Pigs have fuck off sharp teeth, and he was screaming while chasing me. Chased me down two flights of stairs and tried to bash down a door that I locked myself behind. It was straight up horrifying man, but whenever I tell the story it makes people laugh hard enough to draw tears lol. Guess it's one that's funny to hear about, not funny to experience. I have a whole new respect for pigs now....and their distaste for being jump scared.

Got alcohol poisoning when I was younger. Very fucking unfun, 0/10, I highly recommend avoiding, fuck that forever I thought I was gonna die. I was swallowing my tongue, couldn't walk or talk, and had to be watched after being dragged to bed as I couldn't stop projectile vomiting for over an hour. Binge drinking is fucking asinine, never again. Fun fact: if you eat nothing but Halloween Peeps and get alcohol poisoning, all your throw up will be dark purple, causing your friends to both freak out and laugh at you really hard. Food for thought.

Had an idiot skateboarder pull a knife on me in Gatlinburg TN, but the knife visually wobbled man lol. So not sure that counts, particularly because I laughed at him and had two friends with me, and he did nothing more than talk. Sticks to my mind as a funny one though.

Dude, I was terrified vicariously until the two flights of stairs bit. Were you jump scaring a pig in an apartment complex? Are you making a sequel to Postal or something?

 

[The Infectious Paradox]

Got chased by a 300 pound pig after I scared it, and honestly I deserved that one. It was fuckin terrifying though seriously. Pigs have fuck off sharp teeth, and he was screaming while chasing me. Chased me down two flights of stairs and tried to bash down a door that I locked myself behind. It was straight up horrifying man, but whenever I tell the story it makes people laugh hard enough to draw tears lol. Guess it's one that's funny to hear about, not funny to experience. I have a whole new respect for pigs now....and their distaste for being jump scared

Holy shit.. please give me more details on this one. That sounds straight out of a horror movie. Are you just estimating 300 lbs? Where were you and how the FUCK did that thing manage stairs??

 

[The Infectious Paradox]

I've got several

Most serious one - I was 16 and fucking around in a parking lot with my friends outside my usual hangout spot after some late night Magic: The Gathering. We're all sitting on the back of one of my friend's car, and I guess he got all pissy and stormed off in a huff, quickly started the engine, and sped off. There were three of us on the back trunk - and I was in the middle. My friends on either side of me were able to jump off in time, but I wasn't. I was able to hold on a bit, while he apparently thought it was funny and fishtailed across the parking lot taking a wide turn which threw me off the car (he was an asshole, obviously) and on to the pavement at about 30mph. I don't remember any of this, because I had a massive concussion. Thankfully, this happened only about 3 blocks from the EMS depot - my friends were able to run and get help quickly, and I was taken to the hospital post-haste. The guy in the car sped off and didn't even help. I slipped in and out of consciousness for nearly three weeks, and only had short-term memory. They thought it might be permanent. I finally came around and was able to start forming long-term memories (longer than 10-15 minutes) after around a month. Still have a masssssive scar where my face split open, it's one of the reasons I keep my beard grown out even now, like 30 some-odd years later.

Less serious stuff includes such hits as the time some people were camped outside my apartment building with a rifle and I overheard them talking about killing my neighbor. I called the cops and tried to flee the scene, but they caught sight of me and started chasing me down. Thankfully the cops were fuckin quick and pulled up in time for them to not hurt or kill me.

I was also in a gang-related shootout once. Not nearly as fun or exciting as they make it out to be in the movies.

As a kid, I encountered a crazy person in the wood behind our house. He had an axe and started chasing me, but I was faster than he was. He looked like Charles Mansion with no shirt on, crazy tattoos, etc. Probably methed out. I was small but agile, and outran him. Called the cops when I got home, they found and arrested him.

Was at a concert once where there was a random crowd shooting. Three people died, thankfully I wasn't one of them.

There are also indirect, but damn close calls I've had. My best friend was killed when I was 20 - we both worked at the same factory and usually went to lunch together with "the crew". This particular day, I didn't feel like eating out, so I stayed behind and munched some chocolate donuts from the vending machine. On their way back to the factory, they were in a car accident that killed my friend (who was also my roommate at the time). The other guys were hurt, but lived. It's like - the one fuckin' day I don't go along with them for lunch, that happens. Could have easily gone the other way, and that could have been me that he buried instead.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Also, did the guy that flung you from the truck ever get in trouble?

 

[poodaddy]

Dude, I was terrified vicariously until the two flights of stairs bit. Were you jump scaring a pig in an apartment complex? Are you making a sequel to Postal or something?

Holy shit.. please give me more details on this one. That sounds straight out of a horror movie. Are you just estimating 300 lbs? Where were you and how the FUCK did that thing manage stairs??

Hahaha. Completely true story but that first response damn near made me piss myself.

So I grew up in Maryville TN, and my buddy's mom was a lawyer in a poor-ish area, and his dad was an electrician. Long story short, they had what I'd call a "rich, white trash house", in that it was fairly large, but only because it was arbitrarily three floors. Not like New England homes, like where I live now, which are just big because they're big; no no, this was an east TN home that was TRYING to seem big, but wasn't. The living room, which was small, was up two flights of stairs, and down the two flights of stairs was a small den area and my buddy's room.

I'll walk ya through it, and you'll see I deserved it. I was bored, and I noticed that Wilbur, (the pig's very stereotypical name), was getting quite sleepy, and he's irritable when he's sleepy. I had my other buddy lure him around the couch up stairs with tis chocolate candy that he definitely wasn't supposed to be eating, and I hid behind the leather couch in front of the window. My friend eventually got him directly in front of the couch, I stood on the back of the couch, and I jumped off and landed directly behind Wilbur and screamed.

He jumped HARD and squealed, turned around, snorted exactly three times while staring at me and slowly approaching with a gradually increasing pace, and then screamed, and I mean full blown screamed at me dude. It sounded fuckin awful seriously. I knew he was truly fuckin pissed, so I immediately blast down the narrow flights of stairs in this hillbilly palace, and shoot right into my buddy's room, closed the door, locked it, and the door immediately damn near opened as Wilbur smashed into it from outside the door, still screaming all the while. I held the door shut and listened, I heard him back up slowly across the room, and he ran towards the door and hit it again. Damn near took me off my feet man.

Not gonna lie, at this point, I jumped up in my buddy's top bunk, and straight up started screaming for my friends to help me. They thought it was hilarious, but understood that Wilbur was gonna take the fuckin door down for sure, so they helped calm Wilbur down, and then proceeded to laugh at me for quite a while.

Wilbur never liked me much after that, but it did make the next time I tasted bacon almost a holy experience for me.

As for how I knew he was 300 pounds, I don't actually know, but he was huge and my buddy's dad always claimed he was "over three hundred pounds", so I assumed he was right. Probably one of the scariest moments of my life, but it is hilarious in retrospect.

Oh, and pigs can go down flights of stairs real fuckin fast guys.....just so ya know.

 

[jshackles]

Sorry to hear about your friend. Also, did the guy that flung you from the truck ever get in trouble?

Thanks man. And, nope, nothing. It was the 80s and the South so... "boys will be boys!"

 

[Radioskugga]

Twelve years ago I had a 8cm large malignant tumor in my right kidney, all went well with surgery. As kidney and lung are next to eachother and you don't want that. Just a fluke it was found on x-ray while checking two broken ribs.
Three years ago I got a heat stroke while mountain biking in the woods, was found quickly (again fluke).
Had critical kidney failure (my remaining one) as a result but managed to get well from that too. The doctor said it was a miraculous recovery.

Sometimes the thought of what would happen If I didn't had that kind of luck.

 

[bajouras]

Ain’t much but it could have been terrible. A few months back I decided it was a good idea, to get a ladder and store my old iron on a top shelf of my closet.
Fast foward to last week that I needed something from my closet, like every other day, but this time, as soon as I open the door, I feel something swoop right next to my head and make a huge bang on my floor. It actually broke my wooden floor… At least it wasn’t my head.

 

[Dev1lXYZ]

I stopped breathing on the regular while I slept due to what I later found out was severe sleep apnea. I stopped breathing one night for what the hospital clocked at about 3-5 minutes. I died, saw my deceased father and a Native American….and the largest bear I have ever seen was with us. We trekked up a mountain, some by car, some by foot. We made camp and the bear watched me through the fire. It scared me a few times, and it made the Native American man laugh. When it was time for me to leave, they knew I was going back, but I knew where to meet up with them at next time. I came up gasping for air, my wife was hysterical, and I remembered it all. I later spoke about it to my Medican Man (My grandmother was a Creek Matriarch) and he laughed and told me about why. Let’s just say I believe in spirit totems now.

 

[The Infectious Paradox]

I stopped breathing on the regular while I slept due to what I later found out was severe sleep apnea. I stopped breathing one night for what the hospital clocked at about 3-5 minutes. I died, saw my deceased father and a Native American….and the largest bear I have ever seen was with us. We trekked up a mountain, some by car, some by foot. We made camp and the bear watched me through the fire. It scared me a few times, and it made the Native American man laugh. When it was time for me to leave, they knew I was going back, but I knew where to meet up with them at next time. I came up gasping for air, my wife was hysterical, and I remembered it all. I later spoke about it to my Medican Man (My grandmother was a Creek Matriarch) and he laughed and told me about why. Let’s just say I believe in spirit totems now.

Can you elaborate on those last 2 sentences? Such an interesting story I'd love to hear more