So...new jobs and drug testing.

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tedtropy

$50/hour, but no kissing on the lips and colors must be pre-separated
So roughly two months ago I smoked my first and only joint. It was a great experience, but I suppose this thread isn't about that. This week I'll need to take an "extensive" drug test for a job offer that's been extended to me, and assuming it's the usual piss-in-a-cup test and coupled with my crazy metabolism I figure it'll be fine, but the paranoid part of me is worried that it'll be a hair test. How rare is the later, and what are my likely chances to passing this?

I'm posting this while buzzed, angry at the irony that me drinking a bottle of wine the day before won't matter, but a joint from two months ago might. Or maybe that's more coincidental than ironical. I dunno, LOL.
 
Since it was your first and only joint I think you'll be fince as you probably have metabolized what little THC was in your system.
 
What the hell job are you getting that they need to make sure no one there has touched a joint in over 2 months?
 
Nikashi said:
What the hell job are you getting that they need to make sure no one there has touched a joint in over 2 months?
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thisisamericadude.gif
 
Urine should be fine. I don't think they'll do a hair test, but if they did you would be screwed... I think.
edit - shave your head... and pubes
edit - edit - get a Brazilian wax :P
 
I just remember when a friend of mine started doing pot because of her then-boyfriend, right as she was going for a new job interview. There was a point where she was calling me a week later, walking through a old folk's home, with a bag urine between her legs, asking me for some advice.

That moment always kind stuck out to me as a reason to not do drugs. Avoiding all the side effects and costs, just having to cheat the system like that is not a way to go through life.
 
M3wThr33 said:
I just remember when a friend of mine started doing pot because of her then-boyfriend, right as she was going for a new job interview. There was a point where she was calling me a week later, walking through a old folk's home, with a bag urine between her legs, asking me for some advice.

That moment always kind stuck out to me as a reason to not do drugs. Avoiding all the side effects and costs, just having to cheat the system like that is not a way to go through life.
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The joint cost me nothing, I slept off the "side effects" that were awesome to begin with. Nothing about it impacted me from that night forward, yet I have to worry about how it might affect a job. There's something decidedly screwed up about that, but yes, I suppose that's the way things go...
 
Hair follicle tests are apparently expensive as fuck. Most companies are trying to cut costs now, so I wouldn't expect anything more than a urine test.
 
backflip10019 said:
Hair follicle tests are apparently expensive as fuck. Most companies are trying to cut costs now, so I wouldn't expect anything more than a urine test.
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Finally these difficult times are working in my favor!
 
You're cool if it's a piss test.

If it's a hair test, you might be in a bit of trouble. If so, just shave off all your body hair. Srsly.
 
Lost Fragment said:
You're cool if it's a piss test.

If it's a hair test, you might be in a bit of trouble. If so, just shave off all your body hair. Srsly.
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Eh, they'll just pluck it from my butthole or eyebrow if that's the case anyways. I can't give up my luxurious hippie mane.
 
Lost Fragment said:
You're cool if it's a piss test.

If it's a hair test, you might be in a bit of trouble. If so, just shave off all your body hair. Srsly.
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They wont check for hair.. but then again they might.. so who knows :(
 
tedtropy said:
The joint cost me nothing, I slept off the "side effects" that were awesome to begin with. Nothing about it impacted me from that night forward, yet I have to worry about how it might affect a job. There's something decidedly screwed up about that, but yes, I suppose that's the way things go...
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Man.....seriously if you had ANY inkling whatsoever 2 months ago when you smoked that stuff, that you would be in the market for a job shortly thereafter then I dont know what to say. Did it slip your mind?
 
It does my head in that a country founded on principles of civil liberty allows drug testing by employers.
 
Puncture said:
Man.....seriously if you had ANY inkling whatsoever 2 months ago when you smoked that stuff, that you would be in the market for a job shortly thereafter then I dont know what to say. Did it slip your mind?
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I don't deny it was a poor decision.
 
Grug said:
It does my head in that a country founded on principles of civil liberty allows drug testing by employers.
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The stupid thing is that if weed either a) wasn't tested for or b) made legal then drug tests would come up negative so often because every other drug they test for in those things stays in your system for a day to a few days and the companies wouldn't even bother at that point.

So, one of the least harmful "drugs" out there is the one that stays in your system the longest and is therefore most likely to show up on a test. Sad.
 
M3wThr33 said:
I just remember when a friend of mine started doing pot because of her then-boyfriend, right as she was going for a new job interview. There was a point where she was calling me a week later, walking through a old folk's home, with a bag urine between her legs, asking me for some advice.

That moment always kind stuck out to me as a reason to not do drugs. Avoiding all the side effects and costs, just having to cheat the system like that is not a way to go through life.
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I think it shows more how fucked up the laws against cannabis are. Seriously drug tests should check for everything, nicotine and alcohol included. Honestly going high to a job would be better than going drunk.
 
1. You'll be fine if its a piss test.

2. Fuck this bullshit drug testing. It only ever finds marijuana, and never any of the hard-drugs. So I could have a long weekend, completely abuse the fuck out of coke, heroin, meth, etc and pass a drug test just fine, but I can't smoke a joint a month before. It's a misguided policy that is doing no one any good, except for the drug testing companies.
 
If they do a hair test, and you fail, dispute and offer to retest, and show up balder than a hairless cat. But bring a hair from someone else, and tell them you were able to save one for them.
 
What type of company is it for and how large are they? Federal government and military aside, i can't see many organizations footing the bill for a hair or swab test unless they really felt the position warranted it. The "extensive" part of the "extensive drug test" leads me to believe it's more than a piss test, but you never know.
 
aoi tsuki said:
What type of company is it for and how large are they? Federal government and military aside, i can't see many organizations footing the bill for a hair or swab test unless they really felt the position warranted it. The "extensive" part of the "extensive drug test" leads me to believe it's more than a piss test, but you never know.
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It's not such a high-paying or high-end position that I think they'd go to that extreme, and chances are I'm just being paranoid.
 
fistfulofmetal said:
how bout not doing drugs? that would probably of been the best move.
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<Clicks on tag> Yeah, I'll get right on that...
 
You might want to worry about them doing a saliva test. Cheaper than a hair test, and goes farther back than a urine test.
 
What job are you actually applying for?

Two of my friends already have jobs lined up after college, one getting paid 60k and the other 58k for some accounting and IT firms. They are the biggest stoners I know, like, they smoke so much weed it's actually kind of hilarious. Both of their multimillion dollar accounting firms (One of them being Ernst & Young) made them take a piss test which they both passed with flying colors. So unless you're applying to NASA or some shit, you'll be fine, stop worrying over "drug use" when you smoked 1 joint two months ago.
 
It's not going to be a hair test, and you are well outside the danger zone for a piss test. The consensus with marijuana seems to be that a month of being clean will ensure pretty much everyone passes, even most of the "multiple times a day, every day" smokers.

Grug said:
It does my head in that a country founded on principles of civil liberty allows drug testing by employers.
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This, pretty much. How much longer until we have to submit DNA samples, hair, urine, and a running tally of our personal activities to be checked against a company-approved list? I'm fine with businesses expecting a standard of performance, but my job isn't my life. I very much prefer to keep the former out of the latter.
 
Grug said:
It does my head in that a country founded on principles of civil liberty allows drug testing by employers.
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What does liberty have to do with a private company's hiring practices? If you don't like that a company drug tests you don't have to work there and be paid a salary by them. With that said I also support full legalization of all drugs, I just think that in turn companies have the right to decide how to treat their employees who may or may not be using drugs.
 
TxdoHawk said:
It's not going to be a hair test, and you are well outside the danger zone for a piss test. The consensus with marijuana seems to be that a month of being clean will ensure pretty much everyone passes, even most of the "multiple times a day, every day" smokers.



This, pretty much. How much longer until we have to submit DNA samples, hair, urine, and a running tally of our personal activities to be checked against a company-approved list? I'm fine with businesses expecting a standard of performance, but my job isn't my life. I very much prefer to keep the former out of the latter.
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It's a relief to hear that, and I agree with you completely. As long as I show up, and do my job well, what business is it of theirs what I do outside of my paid time with them?
 
Acid08 said:
I think it shows more how fucked up the laws against cannabis are. Seriously drug tests should check for everything, nicotine and alcohol included. Honestly going high to a job would be better than going drunk.
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Right, but.
It is what it is. It's really the only reason I don't touch drugs. I don't need the additional hassles in my life.
 
I once interviewed at a steel mill in east Texas (lol) that did hair testing. Pretty much because it's east Texas and they're all cranked out on meth.
 
In future, only eat mushrooms and smoke DMT :lol They are essentially native to your body so will be undetectable just hours after ingestion.
 
Well thankfully it was just a urine test, so I'm hoping that'll go through fine. I should know in a day or so.

It's always fun trying to convince your body to piss into a tiny cup.
 
Puncture said:
Man.....seriously if you had ANY inkling whatsoever 2 months ago when you smoked that stuff, that you would be in the market for a job shortly thereafter then I dont know what to say. Did it slip your mind?
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At a construction company I used to work for, all new employees had to take a drug screening so we could maintain a safety certification the company had (existing employees had to take the same test once a year as well). There was some kid who was trying to get hired on as a grunt, basically, and called my boss every day for two weeks after he turned in his application to find out if they had looked at it. He finally gets an interview and calls everyday for a week asking if they had made a decision. They finally tell him that he can start as soon as he takes his drug test (which he had known about before submitting his application a month earlier since he was being referred by a current employee).

Of course, he fails the drug test, but because he tested positive for coke. Now, it's my understanding that it only takes about three days for cocaine to get completely out of your system and this moron still manages to fail the goddamn thing. I was glad it worked out that way, though, as he was annoying as hell.
 
tedtropy said:
Well thankfully it was just a urine test, so I'm hoping that'll go through fine. I should know in a day or so.

It's always fun trying to convince your body to piss into a tiny cup.
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You'll be absolutely fine. One joint over the course of 2 months won't show up at all.
 
"You have passed the Urine Test! But we have to do a hair test to!"

w1yc0g.gif
 
M3wThr33 said:
I just remember when a friend of mine started doing pot because of her then-boyfriend, right as she was going for a new job interview. There was a point where she was calling me a week later, walking through a old folk's home, with a bag urine between her legs, asking me for some advice.

That moment always kind stuck out to me as a reason to not do drugs. Avoiding all the side effects and costs, just having to cheat the system like that is not a way to go through life.
Click to expand...

Am I the only one not understanding what is wrong with this? Are you saying that doing pot makes you work with elderly or do you say that she... wtf wait

Fake edit: She stole the urine, right?
 
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