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Staying positive: little things that get you through the day?
- Thread starter Slo
- Start date
- Status
Wellington
BAAAALLLINNN'
When I get depressed... I uh... Well it's no secret, I drink a lot. :lol
Found out something horrid about a loved one Thursday night and I'm really beating myself up about it. Went to the bar last night with co-workers, and I don't think I've ever drank more, and faster, in my life. Even the waitress was saying to chillout since I looked depressed. It's a temp fix at best though.
I try not to let anything shake me up. I'm 21, good job, healthy, world is basically at my fingertips. But when I do get down I just indulge in the stuff I love. Football being in season has made it so easy, for example. I go to NFL.com 6-7 times a day now. I love just getting lost in the stats, the matchups, all that stuff. I'll just relax with a good videogame sometimes, as well. Unfortunately I've lost a lot of friends recently, so my nightlife is slowing down a bit, but going out and hitting a bar or a club and meeting new people is always fun... though I dunno how that'd work for a married man.
Found out something horrid about a loved one Thursday night and I'm really beating myself up about it. Went to the bar last night with co-workers, and I don't think I've ever drank more, and faster, in my life. Even the waitress was saying to chillout since I looked depressed. It's a temp fix at best though.
I try not to let anything shake me up. I'm 21, good job, healthy, world is basically at my fingertips. But when I do get down I just indulge in the stuff I love. Football being in season has made it so easy, for example. I go to NFL.com 6-7 times a day now. I love just getting lost in the stats, the matchups, all that stuff. I'll just relax with a good videogame sometimes, as well. Unfortunately I've lost a lot of friends recently, so my nightlife is slowing down a bit, but going out and hitting a bar or a club and meeting new people is always fun... though I dunno how that'd work for a married man.
RaymondCarver
Member
Slo, I took your advice in the past when I needed direction, and I totally appreciate your attention then and now. I hope I can be of some assistance because you, Mitiphane, Greg, Xevion, Woo, et. al. are some of my best friends to talk to online. We're all busy with life and stuff, and I don't see and talk to you guys as much as I would like to, but I still think fondly about you and the guys from Next-Gen and Gameassault all the time.
Four years ago I envisioned the town you were living in, the place you wanted to maybe move to, the job you might take at the time, your house as the typical white-washed country-house, scenes of leaves blowing, and your bride's brunette, or what I guessed as brunette hair blowing in the wind, the kids warm and happy inside on a cool day, and all kinds of happy family stuff that I wanted then and that I still want now. I always thought wow; Slo's really got his stuff together and things going well for him. You've got what I want, man, you really do. I think to myself how lucky you are.
I'm in a similar rut right now, and I'm about to give out or I wait for fear of failure to kick in and motivate me. Often it motivates me too late, so I try to trick myself into staying a day ahead. Also, I think on the things that I'm supposed to do and all the extra time and debt it'll take to do things the right way the second time.... And then a friend of mine and I had discussions yesterday and today about how talking endlessly about something is not actually working toward a result. Todays conversation and an article in last month's Edge magazine told me something: To just go do what it is I want to do and not think too much about it so as not to over analyze it. My friend and I spoke about this girl were friends with who talks all the time, endlessly, neurotically about changes she wants to make in herself and never does. She then makes up some new stupid rule or declaration that she thinksll change her life, only to go on and contradict herself the next day, week, etc. My friend and I determined that this girl needs some sort of structure and less jibba jabba. The editorial in Edge magazine was about a guy wanting to learn how to surf. He said he read surfing books, websites, and talked actual surfers about every facet of surfing. What that guy concluded is that he should have done what he eventually did in the first place: just go buy a board and get down to it. His point is that he overanalyzed his new interest until some of the magic was gone. He said the same thing can be applied to a game experience in that some of the magic goes away when we try to vicariously understand aspects before just jumping right into the deed. I do this sooo much, thinking and overanalyzing something ad nausium before I get down to doing whatever it is I wish to do. Maybe I want to be jaded about everything, or maybe its just negative energy that manifests itself and then asks for company whenever I feel washed up even before I get in the surf.
Theres a certain psychology to it, and Im no expert. But, I did take a class in Educational Psychology that taught me to make small, reasonable and realistic goals. To this day I have problems with doing so, or I wouldnt speak this much to the point. Still, I make unreasonable expectations like lying to myself that Ill work on that assignment all tomorrow, that Ill read those two chapters on concepts before I do the task, and eating my morning cereal and believing that Ill only go back to bed for another hour and that Ill get up on time. My day runner last week is empty. Even if I write things in there, a plan is what I dont have down pat. The day runner itself sometimes feel like a sham. I let all the things I should and need to do pile up, and Ill even make unreasonable lists that I know I cant accomplish all in one day/week. I even say to myself that Ill go back to last weeks list and do all those things I didnt do, only to never do them. A whole semester will go by, and Ill have never ordered that one thing, or Ill never have made it to that group I was interested in. (Thinks.) What girl wants a guy like that anyway? If I dont have my shit together perfectly, will I ever be able to find love? Happiness? See, I let this craziness manifest itself in things goals that Ill never possibly get to because they are so varied and off the wall. However, I do have optimism in that some girl is going to want me someday just as much as I want her. And, shes going to love me for me despite my faults. She, wherever she is, will compliment and help me with my life just as much as Im sure to add and benefit hers. Im not really nutty and hopeless, and not all is lost. I take steps back when Im overwhelmed, and I think of the positive things. I think how much I love life and the very essence of all that is good itself, and that my problems are not all there is to the world. My problems become all there is in my world, and I fail to think that there is happiness and love waiting for me just around the corner. I dont have to travel far to find people that love me for me, but Ill be damned if I can get out of my own head sometimes. I see everything pouring down on me, like being stuck in the swamp in The Never-Ending Story, but it only sinks me if I let it. Its really all in my head, the negative energy needing attention from outside, poison seeking more people and more of myself to poison.
Its hard, and I fight it. It fights back and I loose a day or two, and then I question why I let it get me. Why does it get me? Why does the same feeling get so many people? Be it human tendency or supernatural, I let this one guy help me out for thirty minutes at a time. His names Joel Osteen, and hes on nationally broadcast from Houston. After he talks for thirty minutes I feel at home and tranquil in my head. I feel like the man gives me hope. He is positive energy and love as much as a person can be. If you cant catch him on Sundays, hes on at other odd times and has a website. Theres even a book of his called Your Best Life Now which I wish I had a copy of. I dont have time, and I dont have money, but in thirty minutes this man speaking makes me love life again. Slo, I suggest you watch the man speak sometime.
My friend with which I conversed yesterday and today (see above) has been dragging me to the gym. Man, I dont ever want to go, but as soon as I get back I feel like nothing can bother me. One thing that bothers me at this moment is that some may try downplaying religion and exercises by saying they only produce chemicals that make you feel alright. Thats partially right, but to call it only that is a fallacy. The brain always works in electricity and chemicals. It can poison itself. It can heal itself. A simple hopeful message from Osteen and some exercise are the two healthiest things I can do so my mind and body rid themselves of the poison I tend to make.
In the past I had my stint with clinical depression. When I hit bottom and street drugs didnt do it, I went to a psychologist and let it all out. Cognitive (talk) therapy plus pills helped me fell better and finally normal. It was had to learn and accept that something medically was wrong with me. Maybe its from the polluted ground water I drank as a child, or maybe its something left from inheriting addiction. Apparently it skipped a generation because my parents are normal. It was my grandparents drinking too much. I cant point to the source. The solution that I practice daily is living life the right way trying to do whats healthy for my body and mind. I still suck at it, and I was coming here today to post something to that effect.
Slo, I feel ya. Its hard to think about anything but the immediate and how trapped I feel, and Im even surprised when get lost in a movie or something. When I actually forget where I am and enjoy something (book,movie,music,game) I almost cant believe that I lost the here and now for a while. If I can figure out how to do this on a regular basis, people will probably talk about my success or at least my happiness after I get it all in order. Were both about to get out of these ruts we feel that were in. Just remember. Thats the thing. We only think and feel were being held underwater. Jump in, surf, just do it, and just believe that things will be better. Think there is optimism, find the good things and try to believe there is hope, and then hope finds you. Im not saying it fills and overflows you, but it finds you and shows you light. I know it will because I have faith that it will. This works. Circular logic labels aside, this is the one place it works. It really is all in our heads. There are positive activities that help us to believe that life is once again good, and adjusting the perception starts with activities like exercise or instructed faith.
-gate
Four years ago I envisioned the town you were living in, the place you wanted to maybe move to, the job you might take at the time, your house as the typical white-washed country-house, scenes of leaves blowing, and your bride's brunette, or what I guessed as brunette hair blowing in the wind, the kids warm and happy inside on a cool day, and all kinds of happy family stuff that I wanted then and that I still want now. I always thought wow; Slo's really got his stuff together and things going well for him. You've got what I want, man, you really do. I think to myself how lucky you are.
I'm in a similar rut right now, and I'm about to give out or I wait for fear of failure to kick in and motivate me. Often it motivates me too late, so I try to trick myself into staying a day ahead. Also, I think on the things that I'm supposed to do and all the extra time and debt it'll take to do things the right way the second time.... And then a friend of mine and I had discussions yesterday and today about how talking endlessly about something is not actually working toward a result. Todays conversation and an article in last month's Edge magazine told me something: To just go do what it is I want to do and not think too much about it so as not to over analyze it. My friend and I spoke about this girl were friends with who talks all the time, endlessly, neurotically about changes she wants to make in herself and never does. She then makes up some new stupid rule or declaration that she thinksll change her life, only to go on and contradict herself the next day, week, etc. My friend and I determined that this girl needs some sort of structure and less jibba jabba. The editorial in Edge magazine was about a guy wanting to learn how to surf. He said he read surfing books, websites, and talked actual surfers about every facet of surfing. What that guy concluded is that he should have done what he eventually did in the first place: just go buy a board and get down to it. His point is that he overanalyzed his new interest until some of the magic was gone. He said the same thing can be applied to a game experience in that some of the magic goes away when we try to vicariously understand aspects before just jumping right into the deed. I do this sooo much, thinking and overanalyzing something ad nausium before I get down to doing whatever it is I wish to do. Maybe I want to be jaded about everything, or maybe its just negative energy that manifests itself and then asks for company whenever I feel washed up even before I get in the surf.
Theres a certain psychology to it, and Im no expert. But, I did take a class in Educational Psychology that taught me to make small, reasonable and realistic goals. To this day I have problems with doing so, or I wouldnt speak this much to the point. Still, I make unreasonable expectations like lying to myself that Ill work on that assignment all tomorrow, that Ill read those two chapters on concepts before I do the task, and eating my morning cereal and believing that Ill only go back to bed for another hour and that Ill get up on time. My day runner last week is empty. Even if I write things in there, a plan is what I dont have down pat. The day runner itself sometimes feel like a sham. I let all the things I should and need to do pile up, and Ill even make unreasonable lists that I know I cant accomplish all in one day/week. I even say to myself that Ill go back to last weeks list and do all those things I didnt do, only to never do them. A whole semester will go by, and Ill have never ordered that one thing, or Ill never have made it to that group I was interested in. (Thinks.) What girl wants a guy like that anyway? If I dont have my shit together perfectly, will I ever be able to find love? Happiness? See, I let this craziness manifest itself in things goals that Ill never possibly get to because they are so varied and off the wall. However, I do have optimism in that some girl is going to want me someday just as much as I want her. And, shes going to love me for me despite my faults. She, wherever she is, will compliment and help me with my life just as much as Im sure to add and benefit hers. Im not really nutty and hopeless, and not all is lost. I take steps back when Im overwhelmed, and I think of the positive things. I think how much I love life and the very essence of all that is good itself, and that my problems are not all there is to the world. My problems become all there is in my world, and I fail to think that there is happiness and love waiting for me just around the corner. I dont have to travel far to find people that love me for me, but Ill be damned if I can get out of my own head sometimes. I see everything pouring down on me, like being stuck in the swamp in The Never-Ending Story, but it only sinks me if I let it. Its really all in my head, the negative energy needing attention from outside, poison seeking more people and more of myself to poison.
Its hard, and I fight it. It fights back and I loose a day or two, and then I question why I let it get me. Why does it get me? Why does the same feeling get so many people? Be it human tendency or supernatural, I let this one guy help me out for thirty minutes at a time. His names Joel Osteen, and hes on nationally broadcast from Houston. After he talks for thirty minutes I feel at home and tranquil in my head. I feel like the man gives me hope. He is positive energy and love as much as a person can be. If you cant catch him on Sundays, hes on at other odd times and has a website. Theres even a book of his called Your Best Life Now which I wish I had a copy of. I dont have time, and I dont have money, but in thirty minutes this man speaking makes me love life again. Slo, I suggest you watch the man speak sometime.
My friend with which I conversed yesterday and today (see above) has been dragging me to the gym. Man, I dont ever want to go, but as soon as I get back I feel like nothing can bother me. One thing that bothers me at this moment is that some may try downplaying religion and exercises by saying they only produce chemicals that make you feel alright. Thats partially right, but to call it only that is a fallacy. The brain always works in electricity and chemicals. It can poison itself. It can heal itself. A simple hopeful message from Osteen and some exercise are the two healthiest things I can do so my mind and body rid themselves of the poison I tend to make.
In the past I had my stint with clinical depression. When I hit bottom and street drugs didnt do it, I went to a psychologist and let it all out. Cognitive (talk) therapy plus pills helped me fell better and finally normal. It was had to learn and accept that something medically was wrong with me. Maybe its from the polluted ground water I drank as a child, or maybe its something left from inheriting addiction. Apparently it skipped a generation because my parents are normal. It was my grandparents drinking too much. I cant point to the source. The solution that I practice daily is living life the right way trying to do whats healthy for my body and mind. I still suck at it, and I was coming here today to post something to that effect.
Slo, I feel ya. Its hard to think about anything but the immediate and how trapped I feel, and Im even surprised when get lost in a movie or something. When I actually forget where I am and enjoy something (book,movie,music,game) I almost cant believe that I lost the here and now for a while. If I can figure out how to do this on a regular basis, people will probably talk about my success or at least my happiness after I get it all in order. Were both about to get out of these ruts we feel that were in. Just remember. Thats the thing. We only think and feel were being held underwater. Jump in, surf, just do it, and just believe that things will be better. Think there is optimism, find the good things and try to believe there is hope, and then hope finds you. Im not saying it fills and overflows you, but it finds you and shows you light. I know it will because I have faith that it will. This works. Circular logic labels aside, this is the one place it works. It really is all in our heads. There are positive activities that help us to believe that life is once again good, and adjusting the perception starts with activities like exercise or instructed faith.
-gate
Slo, if you're looking for something theraputic, simple, and very result based, I have the following advice:
Sit down somewhere, close your eyes, and breath through your nose for about 15 minutes. Try to keep your mind focused on the breath. You'll notice your mind wandering almost non-stop for the entire 15 minutes, but everytime you catch yourself thinking about other things like the shit going on in your life or a videogame or a chick, bring your mind back to the breath. If you make it a daily practice, you'll eventually be able to stay focused for the entire 15 minutes, and when you've finished you'll feel..ahhhh, calm, fresh, focused.
Trust me, this will help you out much more then caffeine or pot will (Although everything has its place
). It goes without saying that the more you do this the more obvious the effects will be. I practice every morning and evening for an hour, and it has (no joke) changed my life. Pulled me right out of a complete shitstorm.
If you have any questions, PM meh.
Sit down somewhere, close your eyes, and breath through your nose for about 15 minutes. Try to keep your mind focused on the breath. You'll notice your mind wandering almost non-stop for the entire 15 minutes, but everytime you catch yourself thinking about other things like the shit going on in your life or a videogame or a chick, bring your mind back to the breath. If you make it a daily practice, you'll eventually be able to stay focused for the entire 15 minutes, and when you've finished you'll feel..ahhhh, calm, fresh, focused.
Trust me, this will help you out much more then caffeine or pot will (Although everything has its place
). It goes without saying that the more you do this the more obvious the effects will be. I practice every morning and evening for an hour, and it has (no joke) changed my life. Pulled me right out of a complete shitstorm.If you have any questions, PM meh.
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