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[Deleted member 1235]

Everyone must have some of these.

A long time ago I used our little label printer at work to write a sticky "hello" label. I forgot about it and it found it in my coat pocket later while I was taking a dump on my works reception/conference room floor, so i stuck the label on the toilet roll dispenser at work in such a way that you would only notice it while taking a dump.

This floors toilets are only really used for visitors/people in conference and by me (it's my safe haven) and it amuses me that I say "hello" to 50% of the visitors that needs to take a crap (2 toilets), the label has been there for 6+ months, someone has picked at the corner of it, but I like to think to myself that they were amused by my idea as well and chose not to remove it.

I have no idea why that amuses me, I suspect it just breaks up the monotony of a working day.

 

[temp]

YOU



Also I used to lie to some people, like the dentist or something, for no reason really. It was funny to me because I thought of George Costanza while I did it.

 

[ronito]

As long as we're telling stupid amusement stories, whenever I go to a new dentist and the dentist asks me how much I brush I always reply with a straight face, "Well they say you're supposed to brush 2 minutes twice each day. But I don't have the kind of time everyday, so instead I brush once every 10 days for 40 minutes. Sure, it's a long hour, but gotta keep those teeth clean." The looks on their faces are great. I should bring a camera next time.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

:lol

We have some interesting (read - not interesting) calls at my tech support job. For some reason every morning 1 of the receptionists power cords is unplugged from her PC, we are pretty sure it's the cleaner knocking it out because it's floor standing, but it keeps happening so we started inventing reasons. My workmate told her that when you put a computer on the floor, sometimes the electrons that are negatively charged (which i think is either all or none of them... anyway) can gather together and cause a small explosion which will "fire the cord out of the back of the computer", but don't worry, it's only dangerous if you are near it when it happens, and since it only can happen when its dark..........

 

[spliced]

I'll sometimes use a phoney name when talking to people where my name is of no importance, like emailing a company or something.

I also like to lead people on with fake stories. Say someone hears a news report incorrectly or something, I'll build off of what they think they heard.

 

[citrus lump]

GAF

 

[Aruarian Reflection]

Whenever I go to a restaurant that takes your name for reservations, I like trying out a different name each time, just to see what it feels like to be called another name.

 

[temp]

Whenever I go to a restaurant that takes your name for reservations, I like trying out a different name each time, just to see what it feels like to be called another name.

"Mr. Kutcher, your table is ready."


"Hell yeah! This is awesome!"

 

[Tarazet]

When I have friends over, I like playing Mozart sonatas with one hand transposed up a half-step and watching them cringe.

 

[Bluecondor]

After a long night of drinking, I love to lay on my couch and eat Pringles.

I can't tell you how many times I've passed out and then woken up the next morning with a couch full of crushed Pringles.

I love doing this, and have absolutely no desire to stop this behavior.

 

[Mupepe]

Whenever I go to a restaurant that takes your name for reservations, I like trying out a different name each time, just to see what it feels like to be called another name.

Well as long as you don't go to a restaurant with a bar while you wait, you should be fine. You don't want to forget the name you chose!

I used to go to Funcoland and ask the people there "So, when is the new SimSandwich coming out? I heard you you can get three types of Mayo.... THREE!" Sometimes they would actually look in the computer for it. =(

 

[GhaleonEB]

Darwin Awards and Demotivators.

 

[Companion Cube]

I always think it's funny when people talk about their friends or anyone like everybody knows them.

Examples:
A: So do you know where you're going to go to school?
B: I think I'm going to go to SFU
A: OH! John B. just finished his photography major there!
B: Riiight...

1: This game is great.
2: Matt C. is the best at this! You can't even understand!
1: K...

A: I'm thinking about getting whitening strips
B: Lizzie said those are bad for your teeth.
A: Who bitch?!

It's not even like 'Chris, this guy I know, he...' its straight out 'THAT IS CLASSIC CHRIS, HUH?!' Okay, so it pisses me off more than it amuses me. Too bad!

 

[Lemurnator]

When I have friends over, I like playing Mozart sonatas with one hand transposed up a half-step and watching them cringe.

That's fucking badass. You should join a gang.

Whenever a telemarketer calls I ask if they can hold and while they're waiting I turn on the stereo on the smooth jazz station and put the phone next to it. If I don't have access to a stereo when I pick up the phone I sing and stop every so often to say "Your call is important to us, please stay on the line. Then I continue singing, and when I stop if they're still there I start asking them personal questions or say "You have a really cute voice." regardless of their gender.

Shit like that ect.

One time a carpet cleaning place called and when they got done reading from their script I said. "OH GOD! OH GOD THANK YOU. HOW FAST CAN YOU BE HERE? OH GOD CAN YOU GET OUT BLOOD STAINS?"

 

[RaymondCarver]

What amuses me is thinking of funny, absurd instances (generally while I’m busy doing something like washing dishes) and then sharing these glaring moments of insanity with my friends and loved ones. I also create spoonerisms and think of often of a single word’s etymology. I share this also with my peoples.

Doing this entertains me to no end.

I wish for my girlfriend to get in on the games in my head. Most of my close friends do. We find different, weird things to freak out to.

 

[cubanb]

Everyone must have some of these.

found it in my coat pocket later while I was taking a dump on my works reception/conference room floor

Things like taking a dump on your work's conference room floor amuse me! :lol :lol

 

[Phoenix]

 

[ToxicAdam]

When friends are talking about a movie, I'll pretend I have seen it so i can join in on the conversation. Meanwhile, I am hoping that they don't ask me specific questions. I get real nervous that they will "bust me". I have no idea why I do it.


Photoshopped pictures of Jesus make me laugh every single time. I love all of them.

 

[FiRez]

Whenever I go to a restaurant that takes your name for reservations, I like trying out a different name each time, just to see what it feels like to be called another name.

That's very original

:thumbs up

 

[tt_deeb]

Well, you guys have actually interesting things. I have real stupid, little things. For instance if I'm walking on a side walk I like trying to step directly in the middle or only have one foot touch each square. A better example would be if I'm in a car I bite or grind my teeth when I'm in between two driveways, or fences, or in the shade, or whatever else might frequently show up on the road.

I can relate to some of the other stories such as pretending I saw a movie, making up stories, giving a false name or false information.

 

[ronito]

When I have friends over, I like playing Mozart sonatas with one hand transposed up a half-step and watching them cringe.

Or you could just play some Elliot Carter and get the same effect. (I keed, I keed)