Health. Encephalitis made me a super fatigued zombie for all four years of HS ('99-'02). I needed a tutor to come to my house most of the time to help me complete my work because I was too exhausted to be attentive and alert for 8 hours at school. I've had trouble with anxiety, indecisiveness and short term memory since then.
I felt like the fog was starting to lift in regards to a lot of my problems around '06 or '07. I was finally starting to feel like my old self again... but the following year (TMI alert) a botched internal hemorrhoid banding procedure really messed things up for me. The doc said the rubber bands should take a day or two to squeeze them off. Five days of excruciating pain later they finally do, but my a-hole started healing up really tightly. Of course, the ass doc was zero help in admitting anything was wrong with me "you're just a little tight" (yeah f'n right). I started having trouble walking or sitting comfortably, a pretty bad aversion to heat where my brain feels like it wants to start shutting down when I'm just a few degrees overheated, numbness throughout my body especially when taking a warm bath or shower... a lot of symptoms of MS but I checked out okay for that thank goodness. Those problems have mostly subsided except for the aversion to heat.
My urologist of all people finally diagnosed what was wrong with me: pelvic floor damage. I started to a physical therapist to try and undo all the damage from that... I was showing pretty good improvement about 6 months into that when I started having a problem with intermittent torsion. I don't know if the way I lied on my side a lot of the time to do the PT caused it or what, but it became a nuisance very quickly and within a few months I could barely walk 10 minutes a day before it would get very uncomfortable. I went to the urologist begging basically if there was a surgical solution to my problem even though I really didn't want to go that route but felt I had no choice. Got an orchiopexy done on 2/14 this year to sew/lift/hold the testy in place and it's helped some but the area still gives me problems and I don't get around too well still. Had to give up the PT for the other problem. Because of the probs with my "front" and my "back" I spend most of a typical day in bed often uncomfortably so. I do want to get better so I walk however much I can until it gets too uncomfortable (which unfortunately is still not very much). Fapping is way less fun than it used to be. Takes a bit of the thrill out of it completing the task and then thinking "I wish I hadn't just done that."
To sum up, the past four years have kind of especially sucked... I just want to be able to walk, and run, and exercise, kayak, lift weights... be able to do things to live a healthy lifestyle but I just can't the way I'd like and it's pretty demoralizing and depressing.
Oh well
