Lionel Mandrake
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Live from a hole in the ground!
It's the NeoGAF OT Thread of the Year Awards spectacular!
With your host-- Lionel Mandrake!
Featuring special guest appearances by:
Scullibundo!
EightBitNate!
And a random confused grandmother trying to figure out why her cable bill went up by three dollars this month!
Featuring a live musical performance by Axl Rose...
Brought to you by Mandrake Air! Try our new Express Landings.
Also brought to you by spaghetti!
Now here's your host! Lionel Mandrake!
Yeah, there's no Hugh Jackman. I don't why the hell you would have expected him to be here. Like... Just use common sense. There was no Neil Patrick Harris last year, and there's no Hugh Jackman this year. Set some reasonable expectations.
I wanted to start off by thanking the guys we hired to make our title banner this year. That was definitely not a waste of $4000, Lionel said sarcastically. You didn't even crop it correctly. There's like half a foot of white space below... You know what, it's done. Let's just move on.
Oh, and I don't want anyone giving me shit about this thread being a week early. I got stuff to do this week so I figured we'd do it when we weren't busy with holiday stuff. Don't worry, I checked with the mods and it's cool.
But, just as, like, a suggestion... You know, it'd be really cool if, as a favor to me, everybody just stopped making threads for a week. So... You know. We don't have to edit anything. I don't think that's asking for much.
2014. The Chinese call it the Year of the Porpoise.... That's actually a lie. I just wanted to sound cultured. I don't what the fuck they call it. Probably something in Chinese. Anyway, a lot of things happened this year. Both in real life and our little enclave of crazy called NeoGAF. We've heard a lot, seen too much, and maybe even learned a little something about ourselves... Nope.
As the year draws to a close, it's important to reflect how we got to this point. What did we accomplish? What mistakes did we make? How can we make those mistakes even harder? So, let's look back... at Threads of the Year.
A Tale of 'Merica and Milk I just walked out and abandoned a job interview. FML. (Summary)
Poor Thacker just wanted some reassurance that he'd made the right call when he walked away from a lucrative job opportunity because they made him wait too long. Too bad pretty much everyone disagreed with him. But Thacker continued to insist that he did the right thing and everyone else in the world is crazy. The back-and-forth led to a full-on breakdown and Thacker suggesting that GAF was in a "Merica" mindset because of... milk. Yeah. It got weird. But after a short ban, Thacker's still posting, so... No hard feelings?
GAF, I really respect you guys. Whopped by Molly and desperately need some advice.(Summary)
When Tomasooie and his friends partied a little hard, he tried to share his experience with GAF. Unfortunately, that experience didn't really translate very well to text, image, or any type of rational thought. The result was a bizarre stream of consciousness that would better be adapted into a Terrance Mallick film.
Wife discovers husband is a reddit troll; issues ultimatum(Summary) (Additional summary)
When a news story about internet trolling got GAFs attention, it was guaranteed to get a few pages of posts and an argument or two. But what wasn't guaranteed was a user by the name of Mr.Wreckless bragging about collecting nude pictures of women against their will for his own amusement. His revelation led to high tensions, users pointing fingers, delving into post histories, and a lot of people being banned. Pretty much the OT at its ugliest.
I broke up with my girlfriend...(Summary Pt. 1) (Summary Pt. 2)
Everyone was enjoying the schadenfreude when fatigues_gasolini told us about his long-time girlfriend's furry-related infidelity. But as the thread went on and more details were revealed, things actually started to get pretty depressing. Thankfully, the thread does have a last minute happy ending.
I thought my headphones were plugged in but they weren't (Summary)
Behold the tale of EightBitNate. This thread's not much one for twists, turns, and the like, but it certainly is amusing. Plus it serves as a reminder to all of us to be careful when we masturbate in front of our sisters.
Friend's husband on Grindr (believe me or believe not) + Grindr tutorial post #518 (Summary)
So soon after the "headphones" incident, nobody could have guessed that Nate would return with another insane thread. This time, however, Nate wasn't the one at fault. The story actually got fairly sad, and ended with Nate making a difficult decision for the greater good.... But he'll still always be pervert Spider-Man to us.
I just walked in on my sister in law butt ass naked in the bathroom (Summary)
It's a pretty simple situation. A man walks in on his sister-in-law while she's in the buff. Things only get stranger from there, until leading into a fairly humorous anti-climax.
So a 38 Year Old Woman Asked Me to Put a Bed Together Tomorrow, Sex?(Summary)
With a ludicrous title like that, you probably wouldn't expect much to come from this story, outside of some good-natured ribbing from NeoGAF. But you may be surprised, as the story continues to unfold in ways none of us expected.
I like one woman that doesn't seem to like me. Her coworker seems to like me. Ribbit.(Summary)
Oh dokish... dokish, dokish, dokish... The thread started cringeworthy, but innocent enough as dokish described his flirtatious love triangle in a pizza restaurant. The expected mocking occurred but he continued to insist that we just weren't understanding the situation. But then, new evidence came to light which put the whole thing in a much creepier perspective. All capped off with what may be SunnhiLegend's masterpiece.
Time Cube Redux: Space Moors, Freemasons, black means white, there was no slavery(Summary)
Never has a discussion on etymology gone so far off the rails. It all started with an attempt to find a firm definition of "American." It ended with... well, you can read the edited title. This thread's so crazy it gives Penta-God a run for his money.
My Shopping Adventure, a blame space joint, produced by blame space, starring TV (Summary)
The legend of blame space's TV.
And there you have it. Did I miss any? Are there any hidden gems out there? Let's share and discuss the year in NeoGAF.
Live from a hole in the ground!
It's the NeoGAF OT Thread of the Year Awards spectacular!
With your host-- Lionel Mandrake!
Featuring special guest appearances by:
Scullibundo!
EightBitNate!
And a random confused grandmother trying to figure out why her cable bill went up by three dollars this month!
Featuring a live musical performance by Axl Rose...
Brought to you by Mandrake Air! Try our new Express Landings.
Also brought to you by spaghetti!
Now here's your host! Lionel Mandrake!
Yeah, there's no Hugh Jackman. I don't why the hell you would have expected him to be here. Like... Just use common sense. There was no Neil Patrick Harris last year, and there's no Hugh Jackman this year. Set some reasonable expectations.
I wanted to start off by thanking the guys we hired to make our title banner this year. That was definitely not a waste of $4000, Lionel said sarcastically. You didn't even crop it correctly. There's like half a foot of white space below... You know what, it's done. Let's just move on.
Oh, and I don't want anyone giving me shit about this thread being a week early. I got stuff to do this week so I figured we'd do it when we weren't busy with holiday stuff. Don't worry, I checked with the mods and it's cool.
But, just as, like, a suggestion... You know, it'd be really cool if, as a favor to me, everybody just stopped making threads for a week. So... You know. We don't have to edit anything. I don't think that's asking for much.
2014. The Chinese call it the Year of the Porpoise.... That's actually a lie. I just wanted to sound cultured. I don't what the fuck they call it. Probably something in Chinese. Anyway, a lot of things happened this year. Both in real life and our little enclave of crazy called NeoGAF. We've heard a lot, seen too much, and maybe even learned a little something about ourselves... Nope.
As the year draws to a close, it's important to reflect how we got to this point. What did we accomplish? What mistakes did we make? How can we make those mistakes even harder? So, let's look back... at Threads of the Year.
A Tale of 'Merica and Milk I just walked out and abandoned a job interview. FML. (Summary)
Poor Thacker just wanted some reassurance that he'd made the right call when he walked away from a lucrative job opportunity because they made him wait too long. Too bad pretty much everyone disagreed with him. But Thacker continued to insist that he did the right thing and everyone else in the world is crazy. The back-and-forth led to a full-on breakdown and Thacker suggesting that GAF was in a "Merica" mindset because of... milk. Yeah. It got weird. But after a short ban, Thacker's still posting, so... No hard feelings?
GAF, I really respect you guys. Whopped by Molly and desperately need some advice.(Summary)
When Tomasooie and his friends partied a little hard, he tried to share his experience with GAF. Unfortunately, that experience didn't really translate very well to text, image, or any type of rational thought. The result was a bizarre stream of consciousness that would better be adapted into a Terrance Mallick film.
Wife discovers husband is a reddit troll; issues ultimatum(Summary) (Additional summary)
When a news story about internet trolling got GAFs attention, it was guaranteed to get a few pages of posts and an argument or two. But what wasn't guaranteed was a user by the name of Mr.Wreckless bragging about collecting nude pictures of women against their will for his own amusement. His revelation led to high tensions, users pointing fingers, delving into post histories, and a lot of people being banned. Pretty much the OT at its ugliest.
I broke up with my girlfriend...(Summary Pt. 1) (Summary Pt. 2)
Everyone was enjoying the schadenfreude when fatigues_gasolini told us about his long-time girlfriend's furry-related infidelity. But as the thread went on and more details were revealed, things actually started to get pretty depressing. Thankfully, the thread does have a last minute happy ending.
I thought my headphones were plugged in but they weren't (Summary)
Behold the tale of EightBitNate. This thread's not much one for twists, turns, and the like, but it certainly is amusing. Plus it serves as a reminder to all of us to be careful when we masturbate in front of our sisters.
Friend's husband on Grindr (believe me or believe not) + Grindr tutorial post #518 (Summary)
So soon after the "headphones" incident, nobody could have guessed that Nate would return with another insane thread. This time, however, Nate wasn't the one at fault. The story actually got fairly sad, and ended with Nate making a difficult decision for the greater good.... But he'll still always be pervert Spider-Man to us.
I just walked in on my sister in law butt ass naked in the bathroom (Summary)
It's a pretty simple situation. A man walks in on his sister-in-law while she's in the buff. Things only get stranger from there, until leading into a fairly humorous anti-climax.
So a 38 Year Old Woman Asked Me to Put a Bed Together Tomorrow, Sex?(Summary)
With a ludicrous title like that, you probably wouldn't expect much to come from this story, outside of some good-natured ribbing from NeoGAF. But you may be surprised, as the story continues to unfold in ways none of us expected.
I like one woman that doesn't seem to like me. Her coworker seems to like me. Ribbit.(Summary)
Oh dokish... dokish, dokish, dokish... The thread started cringeworthy, but innocent enough as dokish described his flirtatious love triangle in a pizza restaurant. The expected mocking occurred but he continued to insist that we just weren't understanding the situation. But then, new evidence came to light which put the whole thing in a much creepier perspective. All capped off with what may be SunnhiLegend's masterpiece.
Time Cube Redux: Space Moors, Freemasons, black means white, there was no slavery(Summary)
Never has a discussion on etymology gone so far off the rails. It all started with an attempt to find a firm definition of "American." It ended with... well, you can read the edited title. This thread's so crazy it gives Penta-God a run for his money.
My Shopping Adventure, a blame space joint, produced by blame space, starring TV (Summary)
The legend of blame space's TV.
And there you have it. Did I miss any? Are there any hidden gems out there? Let's share and discuss the year in NeoGAF.
