The Cat: (showing his car) Here she is, the Super Luxurious Omnidirectional Whatchamajigger, or S-L-O-W for short.
Sally: S-L-O-W?
The Cat: Yeah, S.L.O.W. It's better than the last thing we had: Super Hydraulic Instantaneous Transporter?
Conrad: Oh, you mean...
The Cat: NO!
The Cat: Wow! This is just like the carnival, just without the abused animals and the drunken clowns with hepatitis.
The Cat: There is a third option!
[Vaudeville Keyboard music]
Sally: There is?
The Cat: Yes. It involves... MURDER!
[More vaudeville keyboard music]
The Cat: I'll get you, and I'll make it look like a bloody accident!
[after cutting his tail off with a meat cleaver]
The Cat: Son of a (beep)!
The Cat: [as the cook] Delicious cupcakes are just minutes away.
The Cat: [as a cooking show host] Did you say minutes away? that's impossible!
The Cat: [as the cook] You're not just wrong, you're stupid.
The Cat: [as a cooking Show host] now, wait just a minute...
The Cat: [as the cook] And you're ugly, just like your mum.
[to a hoe]
The Cat: Dirty Hoe... I'm sorry, I love you.
The Cat: Who, Me? Why I'm The Cat in the Hat, there's no doubt about that. I'm a super fundiferous feline, who's here to make sure that you're..."meline"..."key lime"..."turpentine". I got nothing! I'm not so good with the rhyming, not really, no. Look, I'm a cat that can talk that should be enough for you people!
