Amory
Member
The movie starts with the villain murdering Quasimodo's mom by running her over with his horse and then nearly throwing him (an infant at this point, mind you) down a fucking well. Then he decides to just lock him in solitary confinement for his entire life instead. So the poor guy has to make friends with gargoyles who he imagines have Jason Alexander's voice.
Every main character is trying to fuck Esmerelda. From the freak simp in the belltower to the handsome knight to the old Bible-thumping villain. All of them are competing for this chick. It's insane for a Disney movie.
Then the villain's biggest musical number is him literally singing either I'm gonna bang this lady or I'm gonna burn her alive at the stake. Then he goes and lights a house on fire with the family still inside, for no discernable reason whatsoever. He thought they were hiding Gypsies (guy HATES Gypsies) and it turns out they weren't but he lights up the house anyway. Guy literally goes around trying to murder people by burning them to death.
This is a weird old story for Disney to choose for a kid's movie. But it holds up in a strange way.
Every main character is trying to fuck Esmerelda. From the freak simp in the belltower to the handsome knight to the old Bible-thumping villain. All of them are competing for this chick. It's insane for a Disney movie.
Then the villain's biggest musical number is him literally singing either I'm gonna bang this lady or I'm gonna burn her alive at the stake. Then he goes and lights a house on fire with the family still inside, for no discernable reason whatsoever. He thought they were hiding Gypsies (guy HATES Gypsies) and it turns out they weren't but he lights up the house anyway. Guy literally goes around trying to murder people by burning them to death.
This is a weird old story for Disney to choose for a kid's movie. But it holds up in a strange way.
