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[FoneBone]

But, as usual, it's funny.

Nation's Poor Win Election for Nation's Rich

What Do You Think?

Bush Promises To Unite Nation For Real This Time
WASHINGTON, DC—A week after winning a narrow victory over Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, President Bush promised to "unite the divided nation, but for real this time." "Just as I pledged in 2000, I promise to bring the two halves of this nation together—only this time I'm really gonna do it," Bush said Tuesday. "I'll work hard to put an end to partisan politics. Seriously, though. This term, I will." Bush then requested the support of all Americans for his agenda of cutting taxes and extending America's presence in Iraq.

Liberals Return To Sodomy, Welfare Fraud
BERKELEY, CA—No longer occupied by the 2004 election, liberals across the country have returned to the activities they enjoy most: anal sex and cheating the welfare system. "I've been so busy canvassing for the Democratic Party, I haven't had a single moment for suckling at the government's teat or no-holds-barred ass ramming," said Jason Carvelli, an unemployed pro-hemp activist. "Now, my friends and I can finally get back to warming our hands over burning American flags and turning kids gay." Carvelli added that his "number-one priority" is undermining the efforts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere.

Political Blogger Mass Suicide To Be Discovered In Several Weeks
BOSTON—By examining web-traffic data for left-leaning DailyKos.com, researchers have predicted that the mass suicide of 14 political bloggers will likely be discovered sometime in mid-December. "After months of doing nothing but sit alone in our rooms at our computers, trying to get our message to the people, we lost the election anyway," read the still-unread suicide pact posted Nov. 3. "We'd rather be dead than live in a country as fucked up as this one." The bodies will most likely be found by property managers, long-estranged parents, or neighbors returning copies of Joe Trippi's The Revolution Will Not Be Televised.

 

[The Shadow]

Nation's Poor Win Election for Nation's Rich

I don't have to read the article. I love it based on the headline alone.

 

[videogamer]

Liberals Return To Sodomy, Welfare Fraud
BERKELEY, CA—No longer occupied by the 2004 election, liberals across the country have returned to the activities they enjoy most: anal sex and cheating the welfare system. "I've been so busy canvassing for the Democratic Party, I haven't had a single moment for suckling at the government's teat or no-holds-barred ass ramming," said Jason Carvelli, an unemployed pro-hemp activist. "Now, my friends and I can finally get back to warming our hands over burning American flags and turning kids gay." Carvelli added that his "number-one priority" is undermining the efforts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere.

Not exactly true. I met quite a few guys while canvassing.

 

[Jak140]

"Kerry Captures Bin Laden One Week Too Late"

:lol

 

[DarienA]

"Kerry Captures Bin Laden One Week Too Late"

:lol

LOL

 

[SteveMeister]

"Kerry Captures Bin Laden One Week Too Late"

:lol

Yeah, that one's a riot

 

[Pochacco]

"Kerry Captures Bin Laden One Week Too Late"

:lol

hahaha...so funny.

 

[Phoenix]

"Kerry Captures Bin Laden One Week Too Late"

:lol

OMG I'm in tears :lol