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[WARCOCK]

List your series of unfortunate accidents, injuries or excruciatingly painful experiences.




I HATE BURNS

 

[Pedigree Chum]

Burned a part of my arm on a popcorn machine, TWICE. The price I pay for a shitty job, left a mark too, about 3 inches in total. Kinda looks like an exclamation mark. Bah.

 

[White Man]

I thought this thread was going to be about the pain series. I'm disappointed.

 

[kumanoki]

List your series of unfortunate accidents, injuries or excruciatingly painful experiences.

The Christmas break of my twentieth year, I came down with a case of viral pneumonia in my left lung. I was bedridden for a day, while my mom fed me advil. The next day I began to turn green, so we went to the family physician. He took one look at me and immediately called the hospital to ready a room. I was hours from death. Apparently, the advil was building in my system, causing severe liver and kidney damage, on top of the pneumonia. I spent a hellacious week in the hospital, including the 97-98 New Year. I was given morphine once for the pain in my legs, since I hadn't moved them since I took to bed. I was only able to walk a few yards my second to last day in the hospital, and my final day, I made it down to the garden outside. I made a full recovery, but my left lung is weak and I have to be careful with my alcohol intake.

 

[Brannon]

I don't like it when the red water comes out...

On a serious note, whenever I stub my toe or bump my knee, there is no pain for at least five seconds, then a blazing pain followed by a super-rush of feel-good giddiness that goes all the way to my heart. Basically...

*stub*

oh no I just stubbed my toe, here it comes...

*5 seconds later*

GAH FUCK IT!

*5 seconds later*

......oh yeeeeeah.......*sigh*

I wonder if those are the fabled endorphins, cuz if they are, they rock.

 

[Matlock]

1. Second degree burns, upper torso. Was out at the beach, no sunblock, floated about in the water for about four hours. Two days later, I was able to peel a layer of skin from my shoulder to my hand without breaking off once.

Felt really good. Also how I met my first girlfriend.

2. Ingrown toenail, pus coming out. Running across campus when I tripped and rammed that foot straight into the concrete. Enough blood to fill the bottom of my sandal. :|

3. Surgical removal of front two teeth--novocaine didn't work.

4. Dropped candle, caught fluid with hand. Saved carpet, now have a painful burn on my left hand.

 

[xsarien]

I was runni---er, walking fast up the subway stairs, I tripped, fell, and fell full force onto my bent knee right on the corner edge of the stair, then capped the maneuver off by doing a quick face plant on the edge of a stair further up.

You know that Family Guy clip where Peter's just sitting on the sidewalk, holding his leg, and going "ooooooh, ow; oooooh, ow; ooooooh, ow......" for, like, 10 minutes?

Yeah.

The good news is that I can walk today, whereas I was hobbling yesterday. Nice red mark under my eye, too.

 

[rs7k]

Must be the time I got my knuckle rebroken because it wasn't healing properly from a previous fracture.

Or the time my good friend dared me to step on a nail when I was on acid. I did it, and a few hours later decided to run my friend over with his own car. We're still friends.

 

[The_Sorrow]

I tore an ankle ligament on like the first defensive series in our only scrimmage for our team(high school football) about a year ago. It hurt REALLY bad. And kept me out 6 of our 10 game CIF regular season.

 

[Star Power]

YOU SHOULD SEE MY SCARS.

 

[MrSingh]

Getting kneed in the groin during karate sparring practice.

 

[dog$]

Two quick stories:

I work at a FedEx, and I was loading a truck up with stuff. I was in one of the trucks that had the ribbed metal frames every 5 feet or so... and I was busy filling the top of one wall with loose, light stuff that I can just toss up there. I pick up a cardboard tube, toss it up, and the tube bounces perfectly off of the metal rib and plugs me right back in the mouth. Some blood came from the mouth, but otherwise I was ok.

A few years ago, at my old house, the upstairs and downstairs flights were right next to each other and only seperated by a wall. I was going to bed and turned all the lights off, and was feeling around for the corner of the wall to go upstairs. Instead, I found the middle dividing wall, took one step forward, and promptly face-planted downstairs in a quick instant.

 

[android]

-Cut my finger open on a piece of metal. Scarred and aches every once in a while
-Broke the radial head in my arm, when I held it out to break my fall. The tendons still click and pop over it sometimes, when I rotate my forearm.
-Wisdom teeth. Four big ones. Took forever to heal over the holes they left.

 

[xsarien]

-Broke the radial head in my arm, when I held it out to break my fall. The tendons still click and pop over it sometimes, when I rotate my forearm.

Ditto. I was running on a field (I worked at a day camp at the time), and slipped on a baseball bat that was left out. Bang zoom, "Hey, I didn't know my hand could bend that far back!"

Hurt like a bitch, still pops 'n' clicks to this day, and on top of all the God damned masturbation jokes from fellow counselors, the damned cast was purple. PURPLE. That was a textbook example of How To Completely Humiliate a 15-year-old in 5 Easy Steps.

 

[bjork]

I dropped the toiletseat on my dick once.

I vomited up skin when I had strep throat.

Other than that, all emotional.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

never had any broken bones or anything too serious. The worst pain i've ever felt is getting kicked in the nads.

 

[AniHawk]

My bone with through my skin before once. I didn't know until about 2 hours later at the hospital that I had pushed it back into the skin and was holding it there the entire time.

 

[jiggle]

Heels, toes, ankle, knee, pelvis, lower/mid back, shoulders, collar bones, and jaw pain for the past 4 months. Only recently started to feel better.

 

[yoshifumi]

once fell face first from a fence onto a guard rail, had to get 21 stitches on my forehead. i swore i could see my skull when i looked at it (although i was probably just panicking)...gave me a minor concussion too. another time i got bit by a moray eel on my index finger and had to get 7 stitches. that one hurt the worst because of all the nerve endings in the fingertips.

i've also given myself a concussion by kneeing myself in the face when i overrotated a front 1 and 3/4 on floor when i did gymnastics in high school. that didn't hurt a lot; when i got up i couldn't feel my face at all though.

 

[Brannon]

Heels, toes, ankle, knee, pelvis, lower/mid back, shoulders, collar bones, and jaw pain for the past 4 months. Only recently started to feel better.

Dude what the fuck. You just don't say all that and leave us hanging!

 

[guess]

I got the tip of my middle finger caugth in a door. It ripped the tip of my finger open and I could see my bone, which was fractured.

I broke my nose playing basketball, but the worst part was having to go through all the pain again getting my nose set.

A few days ago, I sprained my ankle playing basketball. Usually thats not to painful, but this time it was terrible.

my nasty swollen ankle

 

[ZombieSupaStar]

fucking gave myself a concussion trying to attempt a "perfect standing dropkick" (thanks curt!) complete with 2 days memory loss

 

[Deleted member 1159]

I was riding a snowmobile a few weeks ago and took a turn rather quickly, causing it to start to tip. I put my left leg out to stabalize myself a bit and as I kept driving I was kind of "running" my left leg along. Unfortunately when I brought i back up, I smacked my shin (bone part) against a solid piece of metal on the machine.

I came to a stop, put my head on the handle bars and simply tried not to look too girly. It hurt like HELL. My leg swelled up pretty bad and I had a pretty deep cut. I still have some fluid in it but the cut's nearly gone.

 

[jenov4]

Wow, 23 replies and no mention of this guy:

Fractured my leg in grade 7, that was some intense pain. I've also injured legs, arms, head, knees while snowboarding. Some of that shit really knocks the wind out of ya.

None of this stuff compares to the pain of giving birth or passing a kidney stone though.

 

[Darias]

Had someone once open my back up with a fencing sabre from shoulder to waist... through four layers...


that one took two boxes of butterflies to close.

uhm... took most of the skin off my left hand after putting it down on a stove - literally had to pry the hand up with a spatula at the time... it was very cartoonish...

 

[B'z-chan]

Fighting cancer its been a bitch. The drugs they've given me and radio treatments have hurt me a lot.

but its just one of the most unfortunate things i've had to go through in my life.

About two years ago i was making some food with this really hot and spicey dressing some ranch mixed with this special hotter than hot sauce (death sauce 80 bucks) and i droped some on my hands washed it off and though i was ok.

I then went and had fun with myself burned my dick off literally. I went to wipe my eyes of the tears and got whatever in my eyes. Here i am burning in pain in both my eyes and my dick. Lasted almost 3 hours. Then came the shit, oh boy let me not get into that.

 

[Joe]

not really painful but this may be the only time i can tell this story.

like 6 or 7 years ago me and some friends were playing manhunt on a friends block. my hiding spot was between some guys house and his garage. well someone found me but they werent gonna get me without a fucking chase. so i started running between the house and garage and this guy had all random bricks laying around so i had to make sure to not trip on them then there was this big stick that i couldnt make it past. so i ended up tripping on the stick and my face landed on one of the bricks which broke an entire half of one of my front teeth. man that fucking sucked and just thinking about it freaks me out.

 

[NLB2]

I've been punched a lot, but that's never really hurt too bad. Kicked or kneed in the balls numerous timesBroken a few bones and those hurt really bad, but nothing that I've experienced comes close to hurting as badly as salt on a cold sore.

 

[Aruarian Reflection]

Dislocated my shoulder sometime when I was under 10 years old.

Had a bad fall in basketball about 7 years ago that resulted in a bad hip/lower back. I still don't know what the exact injury was, but it's healed over the years.

Got pretty beat up in taekwondo sparring a couple months ago. It's nothing too serious, but worth mentioning because it was recent. My leg was bruised all over for an entire week and I could barely swing myself out of bed.

EDIT: Oh, just thought of one that I completely forgot. When I was 7, I had one of those bikes that braked by pedaling backwards (or trying to. If you tried to pedal backwards, the tires would lock and it essentially acted as a brake). Well, I loved to go really fast and then jam backwards on the pedals to leave cool skid effects. One day, I was flying around a corner, lost temporary control, and panicked by jamming backwards on the pedals. I flew over the handlebars of the bike and landed in a garden of rose bushes.

I'm sure there's more, just can't think of any at the moment. I'm a very active kid, so I got into all sorts of accidents.

 

[Brannon]

Good grief, reading all these makes me feel lucky that all I've worried about was a stubbed toe. Building up way too much karma backlash here...

 

[Wendo]

Cluster headaches. The nastiest motherfucking headaches you can get. Migraines are pussies.

Here's a good description:

"It’s somewhere between 11:00 P.M. and 3:00 A.M., and I wake terrified, hopeful that I’m dreaming, and knowing that I’m not. I move quickly out of bed while my lovely wife of fifteen years, the only one who truly tries to understand, watches helpless; as there is nothing that she can do, she hurts too. I am careful not to wake the children as I make my way down the stairs. If they were to witness my nightly cluster ritual, they would never see me the same way again. Their father, fearless protector, diligent provider, crawling about in tears, beating his head on the hard wood floor.

The pain is so intense I want to scream, but I never do. I go down three flights of stairs where I can't be heard, and drop to my knees. I place my hands on the back of my neck, and lock my fingers together. I bind my head between my arms and squeeze as hard as I can in an attempt to crush my scull. I begin to roll around, banging my head on the floor, silently groaning. I stand up and begin to pace, pressing my left eye with full force of my palm. I often wonder how it is that my eye isn't damaged. I search for the telephone that has always been my weapon of choice for creating a diversion, and I beat my left temple with the hand piece. I create a rhythm as I strike my scull, cursing the demon with each blow. I reach a point of distraction from the cluster, and then I start the whole process over; roll and squeeze, crawl and bang, find the telephone.

Eventually, the cluster, whatever it is, drains from me. I can feel it passing through my temple, and behind my ear where it seems to run out of my skull like water passing down a pipe. Tonight it took two hours, yesterday was thirty minutes. Tomorrow only God knows."

 

[Drozmight]

I use to try and stand up on my bike as a kid while speeding down hill (I lived on a STEEP hill). Once I stood up, fell backwards off the bike and fucked myself up something fierce. As if that didn't screw me up enough, I got up and began to run downhill towards my house in pain. Gravity took hold, slammed me face first into the sidewalk (oh how it felt great having open flesh wounds slide accross rough cement). I felt like I had been forced through a fine wire mesh.

 

[milanbaros]

I have never really experienced that much physical pain. I obviously have a lot of injuries from playing 'soccer'.

Quite a funny instance comes to mind while just playing 'soccer' on the school playground. For some reason when I went to raise my hand my thumb got caught in my pocket and a whole lot of crap was ripped (and i don't mean my trouser pocket). I say funny, more like excruciating pain, but the situation looked quite funny.

I've had the crap beaten out of me a few times, mainly because of a friend that doesn't take shit from people too lightly and I always seem to get involved. But that pain isnt immediate really, more like a dragged out pain afterwards when your just lying on the floor coughing up blood.

 

[Rei_Toei]

Damn, I never heard of Cluster headaches, sounds nasty :/. I once almost sawed off a finger (the saw hit something in the wood) when I was 15, the scar's still here seven years later. Other then that, nothing serious, once almost broke both wrists with volleyball, that kinda hurted.

 

[psycho_snake]

Has anyone here ever torn their cartlidge in heir knee. I did it playing soccer and it fucking hurts alot.

A funny story of my painful experiences would be when I got hit by a hockey stick. The stupid retard didnt know how to play the game and swung his hockeystick like a golf club, Unfortunately, I was the closest thing next to the hockey stick and it hit me right on the head.

 

[Drexon]

Once moved a pot of water with hot dogs I had just boiled into my room when I slipped and got some of the water on my hand. Daaaamn that hurt.

Crashed my moped into a car, flied over it, landed on my shoulder popping it out of it's socket. The syntethic morphine made it worth it though.

Pulled 4 wisdom teeth, love the pain you get after the initial shots were off and you RUN for the additional pills you get.

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

Burned a part of my arm on a popcorn machine, TWICE. The price I pay for a shitty job, left a mark too, about 3 inches in total. Kinda looks like an exclamation mark. Bah.

Haha, I have a nasty burn near my elbow from jostling the popcorn around to get the shit to fall to the bottom while the machine apparently was still on. My arm came into contact with the fuck pot for like half a second, and the first layer of skin was immediately ownt.

 

[ksinghsf]

Kidney stone ... so painful I threw up then passed out.

 

[jiggle]

Dude what the fuck. You just don't say all that and leave us hanging!

My doctor said it's arthritis(not the old people kind). A week before the Incredibles came out, I started having pain in all those areas all of a sudden. Simply standing up/sitting down, and walking caused the most excruciating pain ever. Couldn't sleep on my sides because the shoulders hurt(can't lift nothing either), and sleeping on my back wasn't pleasant either. Had trouble opening my mouth when I eat, and had to chew really slowly to alleviate the pain. Excercise was obviously out of question(luckily I couldn't eat much at that time anyway). Pain medicine didn't do much, and the arthritis pills weren't very strong (it has the least possible side effects).
Not a pleasant experience :/

 

[hooded pitohui]

For the love of all that is holy, keep your mouth shut while on a trampoline.

It wasn't the stitches so much as the syringe of novocaine that got me. There's still a bump on my tongue, and this was over 10 years ago.