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[tedtropy]

I see commercials for this splattered all over late-night TV. User testimonies from normal folk like you and I to professional athletes claiming how it CHANGED THEIR LIVES. The commercial then informs me how many payments I can make to own my very own while telling me nothing about what the hell it's supposed to do. Does it slowly leak adamantium into my body? Does its magnetic powers pull blood towards more vital organs? Is it just pure bullshit? I must know! So I consult their website, thinking 'surely that FAQ link will reveal all'. Nope, although I did learn a few important 'do and do nots' involving it...

What should or shouldn't I do with the product?
DO try to wear your Q-Ray® all the time - especially while sleeping or exercising.
DO NOT wear the bracelet if you have an electronic or medical device such as a pacemaker.
DO NOT wear the Natural Finish bracelet if you are allergic to bare (non-plated) metal.
DO NOT continue to wear the bracelet if any type of discomfort occurs after the bracelet is worn.
DO NOT wear while using electric blankets, magnetic products, or tanning beds.
DO NOT wear any other metals or a watch ON THE SAME WRIST as Q-Ray. Rings may be worn on the same wrist as Q-Ray.
DO NOT wear the bracelet in salt water or chlorine (hot tubs, pools) as this may affect the plating. You may wear the bracelet during bathing.
DO NOT allow the ends of the bracelet to come in contact with one another.

Apparently this product is the solution to all my life's woes...but...why?

 

[Coin Return]

I saw a commercial for these, and it left me puzzled. They don't tell you what the damn thing does, just people praising it, and a part where they tell you how they manufactured it.

 

[impirius]

The question you should be asking is, "What the hell DOESN'T it do?"

 

[Hitokage]

 

[demon]

&%!#@ LINK DOESN'T WORK!

 

[Matlock]

 

[itschris]

http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/PhonyAds/qray.html

The Bottom Line

The Q-Ray bracelet is a line of costume jewelry that has been claimed to relieve pain and to provide various health benefits. It is claimed to work by balancing "energy" that cannot be measured with scientific instrumentation. Its supposed mechanism of "ionic" action is preposterous. The only published scientific study of the device found that it had no special effect against pain. Its marketing claims were greatly toned down by a private consumer protection lawsuit filed in California, but I believe that the manufacturer still exaggerates what the bracelet can do. The Balance Bracelet has been marketed with claims that were equally false.

 

[thomaser]

My brother used to sell something similar to that. He travelled around to people's homes and demonstrated these things. Not only bracelets either, but also magnetic soles, magnetic pillows and so on. They were supposedly good for just about everything. I dunno. He didn't work with it for a long time, but he did manage to sell quite a few things to a horse-owner who had sick horses. The horses got well shortly after, but if the cause was the effect of the magical magnetic thingies, I will never know.

 

[impirius]

My brother used to sell something similar to that. He travelled around to people's homes and demonstrated these things. Not only bracelets either, but also magnetic soles, magnetic pillows and so on. They were supposedly good for just about everything. I dunno. He didn't work with it for a long time, but he did manage to sell quite a few things to a horse-owner who had sick horses. The horses got well shortly after, but if the cause was the effect of the magical magnetic thingies, I will never know.

That was a good episode.

 

[Bregor]

It separates gullible people from their money.

 

[Jim Bowie]

 

[LakeEarth]

How bout that one informercial where the guy has a book of "Home Remedies that the government doesn't want you to know about?" That thing pisses me the fuck off. He says you can cure cancer by making your body 'alkyline' instead of acidic, but the 'drug companies know how to cure cancer but dont want to". Nevermind it's bullshittiness, what the fuck does it mean make your body 'alkyline' mean? Your stomach has a different pH then your blood, then your brain, then your colon, etc etc.

I don't know how TV companies let that kind of shit through.

 

[thomaser]

That was a good episode.

Yes, of course it's bullshit But there was an episode with horses, and if nothing else, the owner thought it worked.

He sold products from a company called Nikken (www.nikken.com). The whole thing seemed to be a get-rich-quick-scheme more than anything else, with the sellers placed in a pyramid-like organization. The guy ranked above my brother was persuasive enough to get fairly rich after several years. His method was to get into a home, and then talk and talk and talk for hours until the people in there were fed up enough to BUY him out of there. I saw it done with my parents. He wanted into my place too later, but I was mysteriously somewhere else that day.

 

[tedtropy]

Hah, both accurate to the topic AND a cool CD cover...

 

[enjoy bell woods]

How bout that one informercial where the guy has a book of "Home Remedies that the government doesn't want you to know about?" That thing pisses me the fuck off. He says you can cure cancer by making your body 'alkyline' instead of acidic, but the 'drug companies know how to cure cancer but dont want to". Nevermind it's bullshittiness, what the fuck does it mean make your body 'alkyline' mean? Your stomach has a different pH then your blood, then your brain, then your colon, etc etc.

I don't know how TV companies let that kind of shit through.

I've seen that. He seems mildly insane.

 

[Powdered Toastman]

BioStabil 2000 > Q-Ray bracelet!

http://www.biostabil.net/?link=en

 

[xsarien]

The Q-Ray Ionized Bracelet. What the HELL does it do?

It's guaranteed to drain money from your bank account, that's about it.

 

[COCKLES]

It's Berman & Bragga's post Star Trek money spinner.

 

[Orin GA]

How bout that one informercial where the guy has a book of "Home Remedies that the government doesn't want you to know about?" That thing pisses me the fuck off. He says you can cure cancer by making your body 'alkyline' instead of acidic, but the 'drug companies know how to cure cancer but dont want to". Nevermind it's bullshittiness, what the fuck does it mean make your body 'alkyline' mean? Your stomach has a different pH then your blood, then your brain, then your colon, etc etc.

I don't know how TV companies let that kind of shit through.

Analysis of Kevin Trudeau's
"Natural Cures" Infomercial (2004)
Stephen Barrett, M.D.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In September 2004, after having been charged repeatedly with false advertising, infomercial marketer Kevin Trudeau became bound by an FTC consent agreement under which he agreed to pay a $2 million penalty and be banned from appearing in, producing, or disseminating future infomercials that advertise any type of product, service, or program to the public, except for "truthful infomercials for books, newsletters, and other informational publications." An FTC official stated that the ban was "meant to shut down an infomercial empire that has misled American consumers for years."

Around the time that the consent order was signed, Trudeau began flooding the airwaves with a 30-minute infomercial for a book called Natural Cures “They” Don’t Want You to Know About. Although the infomercial suggests that the book will make specific recommendations for specific problems, it actually does not do this.

 

[LakeEarth]

Thanks for the info. That's freaking hilarious. "Suggests"? He blatantly says 'this book tells you how to cure cancer"!

 

[Hitokage]

Thanks for the info. That's freaking hilarious. "Suggests"? He blatantly says 'this book tells you how to cure cancer"!

What's funnier is that he started crying conspiracy after the FTC smacked previous bogus products of his down, and he makes references to them in the show... including the patch that'll "cure pain FOREVER". Another one he's tried to peddle is this miracle memory system that'll even give mentally retarded people a photographic memory in a day or two.

...and he also neglects to mention how this american conspiracy has been supressing the entire world. Everyone knows the dangerous risks those Canadians take!

 

[LakeEarth]

What's funnier is that he started crying conspiracy after the FTC smacked previous bogus products of his down, and he makes references to them in the show... including the patch that'll "cure pain FOREVER". Another one he's tried to peddle is this miracle memory system that'll even give mentally retarded people a photographic memory in a day or two.

...and he also neglects to mention how this american conspiracy has been supressing the entire world. Everyone knows the dangerous risks those Canadians take!

Damn good points. Just listening to his logic with his scientific explanations are hilarious, especially to someone with a scientific background.

I love how people believe his claims, and how that 'they' won't cure cancer because they make too much money on cancer. You don't think having the patent on a cure for cancer won't make you a billionare instantly?

 

[Hitokage]

Damn good points. Just listening to his logic with his scientific explanations are hilarious, especially to someone with a scientific background.

You mean pseudoscientific.

I love how people believe his claims, and how that 'they' won't cure cancer because they make too much money on cancer. You don't think having the patent on a cure for cancer won't make you a billionare instantly?

Not to mention PR to die for and a spot in the history books. That translates to additional money down the road.

 

[Mermandala]

Not all "cures" are patentable.

I'm not defending Trudeau or magic magnet doodads. I laff at Alex Chiu and clap at Penn and Teller. Vitamins, herbs, exercise and such things can have profound impact on many diseases, however. I have a dog that developed fibrosarcoma in and on her muzzle. This was diagnosed at the NCSU College of Veterinary Medicine with the only advised action to do nothing. Reason being that her age and the type/location put a 50% chance of blindness and death during the procedure. Furthermore, if maxium success was achieved then they projected a life expectancy of 4-6 months. Bad odds.

So I started researching the infinity of "alternative cancer cures" just for the hell of it. Most of it is garbage peddled by con artists of course. I decided that I would try some things if I could cross-reference the claims in science/medical journals and if what was called for was cheap, easily-attainable, and common/safe. Nothing cohesive jumped out but I did begin to add fresh garlic, parsley, and extra virgin olive oil to her food daily. The individual ingredients were in my kitchen anyway. Her tumors, since appearing, had slowly and steadily grown for about 5 months so that each one was roughly the size and firmness of a golf ball. After 6 days of the added items the tumors had both gone soft and completely shrunk. This condition remained for about 4 months and then they began to return. This - metastasis - is very common in conventional treatment as well. This was all almost two years ago with some aggressive growth in the last few months. Since then some other natural things have been tried but I won't go into that here.

Suffice it to say, I don't believe this was a placebo effect as the dog had no notion of the changes I had made. I don't recommend replacing doctors with book-sellers nor amateur internet rersearch. I remain highly skeptical at any alternative claim but this experience explains my seemingly foolish statement that not all "cures" are patentable.

At least not mine. BTW cures is in quotes because I obviously did not cure cancer - anymore than radiation, chemo or surgery would have.

 

[LakeEarth]

Not all "cures" are patentable.

If it's some sort of chemical, you sure can, as well as the process to make it and intermediate forms of the cure in that process.

 

[Mermandala]

If it's some sort of chemical, you sure can, as well as the process to make it and intermediate forms of the cure in that process.

Yo, no reason to patent parsley dawg! Polyacetylenes are the primary chemical being studied in parsley. Will these chemicals be isolated, extracted, synthesized and patented some day? Most likely. Did that help me any? Not a bit. Parsley is cheap. Word!

 

[LakeEarth]

Well in the lab I work at, they discovered that a certain chemical out of the spider lily that can cause cancer cells to go through apoptosis (cell suicide), but for some reason, not normal growing cells. Eating spider lily's won't cure cancer (it takes something like 50 acres of lilys to extract a few milligrams of it, and the organic chemists we got on it haven't figured how to make the stuff artificially yet). Now chances are SOMETHING will turn up during pre-clinical/clinical to make it not good for treating cancer that we haven't figured out yet, but damn right he's trying to patent the substance right now.

 

[Mermandala]

That is great! I'm no enemy of science - I thought that was made clear in my post. Go Team! If you detect antagonism on my part it's a result of my posting style and not my thoughts on future patents. You're part of important work. As I also stated, research on future solutions doesn't help patients now. There are actually dozens of potential chemicals being studied that cause apoptosis in cancer cells. Some of them are consumable. Green tea, red raspberries, and parsley to name just a few. Will these folk remedies be replaced with more precise treatments? Yes. Was it worth it to me to make the decisions I did despite my own severe reservations? Yes.