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theres a fucking bat in my basement

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Joe

Member
a fucking bat.

im sitting here on my computer chair im playing halo2 with some buddies. out of fucking nowhere a fucking bat starts circling in my basement and i fucking shit my pants. i had to duck the whole way up the stairs i thought it was gonna hit me. im back down here and i dont see shit i have no idea how it got here all the basement doors that lead outside are closed 100% of the time. how the fuck do i get rid of this thing. who the fuck do i call.
 
Matlock said:
Hey! A-Rod's missing a bat!

arod3.jpg

"5 1/2 inches of pure Puerto Rican lumber, baby!"
 

siege

Banned
Just wait until it lands some place and throw a blanket over it. Then bundle it up and throw it outside.
 

Brannon

Member
Have a small Bat fry at your place. Season with cilantro and garlic. If it turns in to Dracula, stake it immediately and change cooking plans to include succulent Long Pig.

A real gamer takes any opportunity to feast!
 

sc0la

Unconfirmed Member
build some small furniture for it and nail it to the ceiling, he is only flying around because there isn't a place for him to sit.
 

Blackace

if you see me in a fight with a bear, don't help me fool, help the bear!
great%20outdoors.gif


this movie should give you all the answers you seek
 

Jeffahn

Member
Bats are unique animals. Here are
some interesting facts about bats:


· There are nearly 1,000 species of bats in
the world. However, bats are basically
tropical animals and only about 40 kinds
of bats live in North America.

· Bats have been around a long time, since
the age of dinosaurs. Ancient bats
resembled those living today. Except for
the most extreme desert and polar
regions, bats today live in almost every
kind of habitat worldwide.

· Bats have some amazing abilities:
Mexican free-tailed bats can fly 10,000
feet high. Townsend’s-big eared bats
can pluck insects from foliage.
Hibernating little brown bats can stop
breathing for almost an hour during
hibernation to reduce their energy needs.
Fishing bats have an echolocation
system so sophisticated they can detect a
minnow’s fin as fine as a human hair.
The Honduran white bat, a colorful
snow-white bat with yellow nose and
ears, cuts large leaves to make “tents” to
protect its small colonies from drenching
jungle rains.

· Bats eat a variety of foods from flower
nectar to fish, small mammals, and
insects. Bats also come in an array of
colors and sizes and shapes. The spotted
bat, which lives in Texas, is black with
a white patch on each shoulder and the
rump. Other kinds of bats have patterns
so bright they are called butterfly bats.
Some bats have long angora-like fur
varying in color from red to black and
white. The bumblebee bat of Thailand
weighs less than a penny. Some of the
large bats known as flying foxes such as
those living in Indonesia have wingspans
up to 6 feet. Flying foxes live only in
tropical and subtropical areas including
Australia and eat primarily fruit and
nectar. Other species of bats are
carnivorous, preying on fish, frogs,
mice, and birds. The fabled vampire bats
feed on blood. There are only 3 kinds of
vampire bats and all live in Latin
America. However, most bats feed on
insects — 70% of all bats are
insectivorous. All bats living in the
United States and Canada eat insects,
except 3 species of nectar-feeding bats
living along the Texas-Arizona border.

· Because they consume quantities of
“bugs” such as mosquitoes, bats are a
natural form of insect control. For
instance, one little brown bat can catch
600 mosquitoes or more an hour.

· Many garden pests can hear bats and
will avoid areas where bats are looking
for a meal.

· Desert ecosystems rely on nectar-feeding
bats to pollinate giant cacti, including
the organ pipe and saguaro of Arizona.

· Agricultural plants from bananas to
cashews, dates, and figs rely on bats for
pollination and seed dispersal.

· Despite bats’ many benefits including
pollination and insect control, their
populations are declining nearly
everywhere. More than half of
American bats species are considered
endangered due to disturbance of
roosting bats in caves, loss of habitat
including forested areas, and
inappropriate use of pesticides.

· Loss of bats destabilizes ecosystems and
can cause people to increase their use of
chemicals to control insects. Excessive
use of chemicals can be harmful to
human health and harmful to wildlife.

http://www.wvu.edu/~agexten/wildlife/bats.pdf
 
D

Deleted member 1235

Unconfirmed Member
You don't need to call anyone, think about it, what can a bat do to you? You have to grab it with a jersey or something. If you don't do it, the bat wins. Don't let the bat win, it's just a bat.
 

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
ocelittle said:
^
That's bizzare.

(EDIT)
I am talking about the two guys posting about the same movie...obviously.

Tell me about it...that really is weird.
 

carpal

Member
This has happened to me, but in my living room. Playing Diablo 2 only to look up and see this thing dive bombing my ass. Fuuuuuck that. Good luck getting him out, I was fortunate enough to be able to open my front door and see the fucker flap his way to freedom.
 

Monk

Banned
If it was a fringed myotis, you should thank god for having one in your basement.

Foraging Ecology: Limited information is available on diet in M. thysanodes. In one study, the dominant prey item was beetles, and in another moths. Other taxa that have been found in the diet are phalangids (harvestmen), gryllids (crickets), tipulids (crane flies), araneids (spiders), and hemipterans (bugs). The presence of non‑flying taxa in the diet of the Oregon animals suggests a foraging style which relies at least partially on gleaning. Relatively long commuting distances (8 miles one‑way, 3050 feet elevation gain) have been documented for post‑lactating females between roost sites and foraging areas.


Edit I want one.
 

GhaleonEB

Member
My mom used to take down bats in our house when I was a kid with a tennis racket and a big knife. She would smack the bat out of the air with the racket, pin it to the ground using it and stab it to death with the knife through the openings between the strands in the racket. We had lots of bats in this big old house, so she had plenty of practice. Took out two bats in one night that way.
 

Tabris

Member
GhaleonEB said:
My mom used to take down bats in our house when I was a kid with a tennis racket and a big knife. She would smack the bat out of the air with the racket, pin it to the ground using it and stab it to death with the knife through the openings between the strands in the racket. We had lots of bats in this big old house, so she had plenty of practice. Took out two bats in one night that way.

Your mom is like crocodile dundee or something. You should be proud.
 

XMonkey

lacks enthusiasm.
GhaleonEB said:
My mom used to take down bats in our house when I was a kid with a tennis racket and a big knife. She would smack the bat out of the air with the racket, pin it to the ground using it and stab it to death with the knife through the openings between the strands in the racket. We had lots of bats in this big old house, so she had plenty of practice. Took out two bats in one night that way.

WTF? Your mom's hardcore.
 

Danj

Member
You could always try shining the bat-signal out of the window.

Oh wait, it's a basement, no windows...
 

Shinobi

Member
Ninja Scooter said:
Its a sign. You must make them fear you.

:lol







GhaleonEB said:
My mom used to take down bats in our house when I was a kid with a tennis racket and a big knife. She would smack the bat out of the air with the racket, pin it to the ground using it and stab it to death with the knife through the openings between the strands in the racket. We had lots of bats in this big old house, so she had plenty of practice. Took out two bats in one night that way.

That's so hot.
 

Diablos

Member
I had an encounter with a bat once. Luckily he was trapped inside of the fireplace so I sealed that shit off. He eventually flew out. But he pooped all over the place in there. :|
 
God, GAF is hilarious. First a thread on a spider in someone's house and now a bat. I'll make this simple. Squash the spider, and catch the bat and throw it outside. Use a towel. Christ, why are we so afraid of these little critters these days? Have all men lost their nuts or something? :)
 

Vitten

Member
I wouldn't mind having a bat in my basement. They're pretty harmless ( well.. apart from the vampire one of course :) )

If you want to get rid of it just open a small window or something. Its echolocation will immediately pick it up and it'll be gone in an instant.
 

Boogie9IGN

Member
Rofl, I showed the pictures to my mom and she said back when she was younger in Cuba, her cousins would get the bats, put them in a box, and since they were always sucking or something, they'd stick a cigar in its mouth. Thing kept smoking like crazy.
 
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