Hey Guys!
So I'm 31 years old and I started drinking heavily in the last 3 years. Before that I was mostly a social drinker. Then I started to go to the pub more regularly, and then every day, getting drunk. Then gradually over the last 2 years I slid into alcoholism, or at least I think what is was.
I started drinking at home, and in the last few months, sometimes I felt so shit physically and depressed in the mornings that I found if I drink in the mornings I feel better and function enough to do some work (I work from home).
Obviously I couldn't work the same amount, so my pay got lower and lower. And because now I drank the whole day (not every day of the week, but most) I felt even shittier. I couldn't even fuck a girl properly since I was so drunk I couldn't feel anything the girl was doing to me, so that got me feel even more shitty and drank even more.
I couldn't make any plans in life, I had no vision. My only thoughts were when is the next time I can drink.
My mother wanted me to get help, she is the only one who could totally see trough me, she always did. Basicly every other person I could trick, lie or hide my problems. I refused help or going to rehab. This week I decided to do it on my own. I said this has to stop!
My first day was very bad indeed. The second day I already feel better. I had a good night sleep in like I don't know... years? I already have energy, feel better about everything around me, the depression seems to be ease up.
I know two days is not a lot of time and this journey will be hard. But I'm very determined, and I feel that this will lead to good things in life. Well, the alternative leads to nowhere anyway, I guess.
I know I shouldn't ever drink anymore. The problem is, there is no "I just drink one beer" with me, never was. If I drink a beer, I have to drink one more, and then more. This has to completely stop.
Thanks for listening! What do you guys think? Do you have stories, personal experiences?