This Just In: Jack Bauer is weaksauce

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The Faceless Master

The Faceless Master

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Jack Bristow just shot a senior government official while in a meeting with senior government officials... then he shot him AGAIN!!!... then gunsmashed him right in the nose!

bauer is weaksause...
 
2fer.jpg



Has that ever been said about Jack Bristow? I didn't fucking think so.



Plus, Jack Bristow's daughter has actually become more annoying than Jack Bauer's. While quite a feet, that is a strike against him.
 
The Faceless Master said:
Jack Bristow just shot a senior government official while in a meeting with senior government officials... then he shot him AGAIN!!!... then gunsmashed him right in the nose!

bauer is weaksause...
Click to expand...
The only reason why you are alive right now is because Bauer doesn't want to carry your body.
 
Archaix said:
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/994/593/1600/2fer.jpg


Has that ever been said about Jack Bristow? I didn't fucking think so.



Plus, Jack Bristow's daughter has actually become more annoying than Jack Bauer's. While quite a feet, that is a strike against him.
Click to expand...
more annoying?

i dunno, a pregnant chick who almost escapes a tanker full of armed guards and only fails cuz she has labor pains... vs .. well, a chick that gets kidnapped twice in 24 hours...
 
The Faceless Master said:
more annoying?

i dunno, a pregnant chick who almost escapes a tanker full of armed guards and only fails cuz she has labor pains... vs .. well, a chick that gets kidnapped twice in 24 hours...
Click to expand...


Psh. Almost. She hasn't shot any of these assholes. Plus, she was sitting next to a table full of sharp objects when she was untied and didn't do a damned thing but say "Nuh!"
 
Umm HELL NO!

A minor list of things Jack has done that Bristows punkass hasn't.

-Died and come back to life.
-Used a damn hacksaw
-Took out the President's right hand man, IN FRONT OF HIS FUCKING FACE!
-Shot an unarmed women to interrogate another person
-PLAYED RUSSIAN FUCKING ROULETTE AND LIVED!!! Killer7 style bitches!
-Held his arm up to a fucking steam pipe to burn off the damned cuffs
-Killed his own fucking superiour with a headshot!
 
Oldschoolgamer said:
Umm HELL NO!

A minor list of things Jack has done that Bristows punkass hasn't.

-Died and come back to life.
Click to expand...

Letting yourself get killed is not a plus.
 
Plus, Jack Bristow never cut off Michael Vaughn's hand. He just acted like a cranky old bastard around him. You can try to mix your unpure seed with Jack Bauer's DNA, but he'll take something from you for your impudence.
 
Oldschoolgamer said:
Umm HELL NO!

A minor list of things Jack has done that Bristows punkass hasn't.

-Died and come back to life.
-Used a damn hacksaw
-Took out the President's right hand man, IN FRONT OF HIS FUCKING FACE!
-Shot an unarmed women to interrogate another person
-PLAYED RUSSIAN FUCKING ROULETTE AND LIVED!!! Killer7 style bitches!
-Held his arm up to a fucking steam pipe to burn off the damned cuffs
-Killed his own fucking superiour with a headshot!
Click to expand...

you forgot
-has a wife who's pussy tastes like sweet butter

img_c01.jpg
 
Oldschoolgamer said:
Umm HELL NO!

A minor list of things Jack has done that Bristows punkass hasn't.

-Died and come back to life.
-Used a damn hacksaw
-Took out the President's right hand man, IN FRONT OF HIS FUCKING FACE!
-Shot an unarmed women to interrogate another person
-PLAYED RUSSIAN FUCKING ROULETTE AND LIVED!!! Killer7 style bitches!
-Held his arm up to a fucking steam pipe to burn off the damned cuffs
-Killed his own fucking superiour with a headshot!
Click to expand...
- KILLED HIS OWN WIFE (turned out it wasn't really her, but he thought it was her and it's the thought that counts!)
- ran into a room FULL OF RADIATION WITHOUT PROTECTION
- treated himself for the radiation!!!
commercial's over, can't list more...
 
I love the episode where the guy is all like who cares if I die whatever, so jack bristow kills him only so he can experience death, then brings him back haha.

Jack Bristow is the ultimate badass. The lengths he goes for his daughter is fuckin mythic. Bow the fuck down.

jack2S3.jpg


Or the story where he interrogated a guy by chopping off his fingers one at a time haha.
 
Crab Shaker said:
Is it me or is that weapon lacking ammunition?:lol

Maybe I don't know enough about guns though.
Click to expand...

Kiefer-Sutherland.jpg


You doubt me?

jackbauer.jpg


Guy is so hardcore, that he would kill you standing ass naked in the middle of your damned basement.
 
I think the real question at this point, is how hardcore a show would it be if both Jacks teamed up. Jesus christ shit would explode.
 
The Faceless Master said:
Jack Bristow just shot a senior government official while in a meeting with senior government officials... then he shot him AGAIN!!!... then gunsmashed him right in the nose!

bauer is weaksause...
Click to expand...

Heh, that's exactly what I thought during that scene. In fact I went straight to IRC and posted

<BobJustBob> Jack Bristow is a cooler Jack than Jack Bauer.
 
BobJustBob said:
Heh, that's exactly what I thought during that scene. In fact I went straight to IRC and posted

<BobJustBob> Jack Bristow is a cooler Jack than Jack Bauer.
Click to expand...
i said it on IRC, then i just had to post it here...

MrAngryFace said:
I think the real question at this point, is how hardcore a show would it be if both Jacks teamed up. Jesus christ shit would explode.
Click to expand...
i don't think that could work without a whole lot of extras... cuz the body count would be rediculous
 
There was a good Bristow moment in Season 4 (i think) where he was talking to some guy about 10 times bigger than him...

BIG GUY: I'm not afraid of you

JACK BRISTOW: Then clearly you're an idiot


I don't know why it has to be one or the other. A "My Two Jacks" sitBass (situation badass) would be awesome.
 
Ristamar said:
Exactly. In a "Jack Bauer vs. ???" discussion, can we at pull competing characters from a relevant show?
Click to expand...
well, if you wanna talk about things like relevance and ratings, some idiot will say something like ryan seacrest > *

not that i'd say that, because i don't care for AI and i like both shows and both jacks :)
 
radioheadrule83 said:
There was a good Bristow moment in Season 4 (i think) where he was talking to some guy about 10 times bigger than him...

BIG GUY: I'm not afraid of you

JACK BRISTOW: Then clearly you're an idiot


I don't know why it has to be one or the other. A "My Two Jacks" sitBass (situation badass) would be awesome.
Click to expand...

Damn lol.

I'm watching Alias now. Jack can get cold as fucking ice.
 
Preview for next few episodes.

HOW IN THE FUCK IS THAT BLACK CHICK STILL FUCKING ALIVE?!?!!THEY KILLED HER ATLEAST TWICE!!!WHAT IN THE FUCK!?!?
 
So, is there a website anywhere that has a collection of all the badass Jack Bauer animated gifs that pop up?

'Cause I think we should flood this thread with 'em :D
 
Oldschoolgamer said:
Preview for next few episodes.

HOW IN THE FUCK IS THAT BLACK CHICK STILL FUCKING ALIVE?!?!!THEY KILLED HER ATLEAST TWICE!!!WHAT IN THE FUCK!?!?
Click to expand...
that was ANNA from the former K-directorate, not the fake francie
 
Crab Shaker said:
Is it me or is that weapon lacking ammunition?:lol

Maybe I don't know enough about guns though.
Click to expand...
One in the chamber...



...and that's enough to kill 3 men and a guard dog
 
so Fred from Angel is still alive (THE HAND!!!) The Real Jack would have put a few into her, just to make sure.

necksnap.gif
 
Lonestar said:
so Fred from Angel is still alive (THE HAND!!!) The Real Jack would have put a few into her, just to make sure.

necksnap.gif
Click to expand...

OMFG!!!!:lol :lol

I forgot that badass kill. That shit was simply mind blowing. Everyone in the house was like DAMN! when we saw Bauer pull that off.
 
Lonestar said:
so Fred from Angel is still alive (THE HAND!!!) The Real Jack would have put a few into her, just to make sure.

necksnap.gif
Click to expand...

:lol That's right up there with the scissors kill! I totally forgot about it. Is that from Season 2 or 3?

Edit: Seriously, he's just showing off here :lol He easily could have just snapped his neck but he went for the dramatic flair.
 
Lonestar said:
so Fred from Angel is still alive (THE HAND!!!) The Real Jack would have put a few into her, just to make sure.

necksnap.gif
Click to expand...
OK, there is awesome, and then there is awesome. That, my friend, is awesome!
 
TheOMan said:
:lol That's right up there with the scissors kill! I totally forgot about it. Is that from Season 2 or 3?
Click to expand...

It's from the finale of Season 2 and my personal favorite Bauer kill for the reason you stated:
TheOMan said:
Seriously, he's just showing off here :lol He easily could have just snapped his neck but he went for the dramatic flair.
Click to expand...
 
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