Hey! It looks like this is a trans topic! If you're unfamiliar with trans people and issues, you may want to familiarize yourself before wading in - it might prevent you from innocently offending someone and should reduce the need for "Trans 101" classes throughout the duration of the thread!
What does "trans" mean?
"Trans," the "T" in LGBT, is short for transgender, and encompasses a large variety of conditions. The most common usage on GAF is for people who identify as the gender other than the one they were assigned at birth: for example, people who were assigned male at birth but feel female, usually at odds with the physical characteristics they develop. Being trans has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality - trans people can be straight, gay, bi, etc. - just like you. It refers solely to gender identity, or what gender you know yourself to be on the inside. Most people are cisgender, which means that they were fortunate enough to be born with bodies that match their gender identities - when you know you're a guy and you have a masculine body. Cis people usually do not have a strong conscious awareness of being cis, because they aren't faced with a disconnect to bring the concept of gender identity to their attention.
Why would anyone be trans?
Being trans is no more a choice than is being homosexual, and is thought to have similar roots: "Currently, there are numerous scientific explanations of the cause of transsexualism, linking the cause to genetics, brain structure, brain function and prenatal androgen exposure."
How do people know they're trans?
This is potentially hard to understand if you're cis. Trans people suffer gender dysphoria, which is an uncomfortable feeling that your body and mind are at odds with each other. This can manifest itself in several ways. Examples include disgust with body parts that don't align with how trans people see themselves in their mind's eye, intense jealousy upon seeing members of their identified gender, or even surprise during puberty when their body begins to masculinize or feminize when they were expecting the opposite. It can take a long time for trans people to understand what their feelings actually mean and realize that they aren't weird and alone. Cis people don't feel gender dysphoria, but just because you personally can't feel something doesn't mean that the feeling doesn't exist in others. For comparison, imagine the second sense of hunger that addicted smokers feel - nonsmokers don't get that feeling, but smokers definitely know the pull.
Is being trans medically recognized?
Absolutely. Being trans used to be (and until 2013 technically still is) classified as Gender Identity Disorder, but the American Psychiatric Association now recognizes that the problem lies with the body not appropriately lining up with the mind, rather than the opposite. The APA is updating the DSM to reflect its modern stance that being trans is not a mental disorder. (Homosexuality, which also used to be considered a mental illness, was itself completely removed from the DSM in 1986 after progressive improvements.) When the new revision of the DSM is released, it will instead contain Gender Dysphoria. The Veterans Administration provides hormone replacement therapy and counseling to trans veterans, Medicare does the same for seniors, and Medicaid treats low-income trans people. Some states include surgery in their benefits, but most don't yet.
The American Medical Association takes the following position:
Pronouns?
You should always use the pronouns of the gender the trans person identifies as or asks you to use. All guidelines for the treatment of trans patients include this. Not all trans people have completed transition, the process by which they transition from their assigned gender to their identified gender. Not all people "pass" as their identified gender right away, and some never have that privilege. However, regardless of your opinion of how masculine or feminine a trans person looks, always use their preferred pronouns. They can't help their situation, and are trying to make the best of it - just like you are with whatever cards you've been dealt. Purposeful misgendering - intentionally using the wrong pronouns - is extremely hurtful. Many trans people feel like they have always been their identified gender and prefer to use their identified pronouns even to refer to their lives before transition. Some trans people are okay with talking about "back when I was the other gender." In general, use their identified gender to refer to them at all points of their life until you see it's okay to do otherwise. A trans person is never an it or a he/she or a (s)he.
Some trans people who haven't started transition, or who are just starting, may still be using the pronouns they were assigned at birth, usually for one of two reasons. First, they may still be getting used to the idea themselves - it can be hard to break a habit you've had your whole life. Second, they may be trying to make it easier for others - they know they don't look like their identified gender yet, or might not yet be trying to present as their identified gender for various reasons, or understand how difficult it can be for people to adjust. In these cases, simply use the pronouns they ask you to (or use for themselves) until they're comfortable transitioning to their new ones.
Correct pronouns are not something a trans person should have to earn from you. They aren't conditional on your opinion of that person, the respect you have for that person, or whether they've been mean or nice to you lately.
Genitals?
In general, nobody's genitals are your business unless you're lucky enough to be invited over to play with them. There's no need to ask or speculate about a trans person's genitals or attempt to use their genitals to challenge their identified gender. You don't do this to anyone you see on the street in day-to-day life, and there's no reason to do it to trans people. They may volunteer information as an indication of how far along they are in transition, or what their plans are, but their genitals, whatever form they happen to take, do not invalidate their gender identity.
"Real" men and women.
Trans men are real men. Trans women are real women. To say otherwise is extremely offensive. This means that a homosexual trans women likes other women. It means that a straight trans man likes women, and it means there's no reason to joke about or question their relationships. Multiple studies have shown that trans women typically have brains more similar to those of cis women than cis men, and trans men typically have brains more similar to those of cis men than cis women. Their bodies may be anywhere on the spectrum, depending on where they are in transition, but when you're talking to a trans woman there's a woman behind the keyboard and when you're talking to a trans man there's a man behind the keyboard.
This does lead to semantic constructions and ideas that you might not be used to. For example, women can have penises. Men can have vaginas. You might read "his breasts" in a sentence about a trans man's top surgery. Please be respectful, and try to avoid any mean-spirited jokes.
Treatments for trans people.
Many trans people undergo traditional psychological therapy with a gender therapist. In the past, and still in some places today, trans people have trouble procuring further care without a letter certifying their condition. The WPATH (World Professional Association For Transgender Health) Standards of Care are moving more to an informed consent model where this step isn't always necessary. Many trans people also undergo Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT. This means that trans women take testosterone-blockers and estrogen (and sometimes other hormones like progesterone), and trans men take testosterone. HRT completely swaps a trans person's endocrine system, and trans people undergo something of a second puberty. Trans women develop breasts, softer skin, feminine pattern and texture body hair, muscle loss, and feminine fat distribution. Trans men develop deeper voices, facial hair, masculine pattern and texture body hair, muscle mass, and coarser skin. Many trans women undergo laser hair removal or electrolysis.
Some (but not all) trans people undergo surgeries: breast removal for trans men, facial feminization surgery for trans women, bottom surgery for both - a constructed vagina for trans women and a constructed penis for trans men. Depending on the surgeon and outcome, trans women's vaginas can be indistinguishable from cis women's vaginas for all practical purposes. Trans men's bottom surgeries aren't necessarily as advanced, but are developing rapidly. All of these treatments are medically indicated for gender dysphoria, and are not cosmetic procedures. Acceptable terms for bottom surgery are bottom surgery, gender reassignment surgery (GRS), sex reassignment surgery (SRS) and gender confirmation surgery. "Sex change" is outdated, implies a simple switch, and encourages misunderstanding of both identity and process. Most surgeons require letters from multiple therapists, years of HRT, and years of living as the identified gender before performing the operation.
This is a lot of reading! Can I watch some Youtube videos now?
You sure can! Here's a mini TED talk given by a trans man at UBC. (11:16) And here is a lecture from a Stanford class. The whole thing is pretty good, but this link will take you to the last fifteen minutes in which he discusses trans people. (1:41:43)
Posts you shouldn't make and why you shouldn't make them.
Post: "I will always see a trans woman as a man."
Why: Science and medicine disagree with you, as does common courtesy. You've probably seen at least one trans person and never noticed, naturally reading them as their identified and presented gender.
Post: "If the person has a penis, the person is a man. If the person has a vagina, the person is a woman."
Why: Science and medicine disagree with you, as does common courtesy. Furthermore, you open yourself up to all sorts of other circumstances, such as men who've lost their penises in accidents or certain intersex people. It's much simpler to take people at their gender expression and/or their word.
Post: "But chromosomes."
Why: You've never seen a karyotype test in your life, and, just like genitals, you'd never ask someone on the street to show you them. Everyone you meet you judge on easily visible characteristics, and it's absurd to try to go above and beyond your normal effort just to demean trans people. Besides, a not insignificant portion of the population have chromosomal abnormalities, and would be surprised to learn that their chromosomes might not line up with the rest of their lives. Like above, it's much easier simply to trust that people know who they are better than you do.
Also, fun science interlude: Everyone's genetic structure contains both sets of instructions--the program to grow male characteristics in response to testosterone as well as the program to grow female characteristics in response to estrogen. In short, there aren't intrinsically distinct "male" and "female" bodies, only bodies with different endocrine histories.
Post: "They're not their identified gender until after bottom surgery."
Why: Science and medicine disagree with you, as does common courtesy. Remember, you have no business snooping around in other people's pants in the first place. Furthermore, plenty of cis men and women have complications with their genitals, from birth defects to accidents, so it's once again fairly useless to draw such a line in the sand.
Post: "I, a manly cis man, wouldn't sleep with a trans woman because I'm too straight."
Why: First, nobody asked you. Second, you're implying that a trans woman isn't a woman by invoking your sexual orientation to explain your feelings. It's fine not to want to sleep with someone, but please try to remember that this isn't about their gender or your orientation, it's about your expectations of womens' bodies.
Post: "Trans people have their beliefs and opinions, and I have mine."
Why: We aren't talking about beliefs and opinions. We're talking about medically-recognized problems that real people are going through. We're talking about scientific and medical consensus that trans people are who they say they are and feel what they say they feel. If you disagree, you disagree with established conclusions put together by teams of doctors and researchers more educated, experienced, and relevant than you and you should keep your view to yourself.
Post: "This thread will be a graveyard!" and "LOL, not touching this. Better to back away!" and "Gonna keep my mouth shut!"
Why: Posts like these, especially at the top of the first page, can set the tone for the thread. The first introduces expectations that people will say stupid things and normalizes that behavior by making it seem inevitable. The second comes across as dissatisfaction with GAF's policies regarding respect for trans people. The third can imply that you want to say something mean, and know you shouldn't, but still want to make sure other people know you had something mean to say. On top of all that, they don't contribute anything anyway.
Post: "I don't understand why they care about gender so much. It's not a big deal to me. Can't they just be happy as who they are? If I suddenly had other genitals, I think I could just roll with it."
Why: In all likelihood, they don't naturally care about gender much more than you do, but they are forced to deal with it in a way that you aren't. Cisgender people have the privilege of being able to ignore gender dysphoria and its ramifications. The trans person is trying to be happy with who they are by addressing their dysphoria. Thinking that you could simply shrug off gender dysphoria is like thinking that you could just choose to be happy to cure yourself of clinical depression.
Post: "Gender must just be a societal construction. If society were okay with crossdressing, they wouldn't have to do any of this, right? So isn't this an external problem? "
Why: While society certainly does need to improve its acceptance and understanding of trans people, one step on the road to that ideal is realizing that gender identity and gender dysphoria exist in their own space and that people's core conceptions of themselves can be entirely independent from external factors. Simply wearing a dress or getting a buzzcut doesn't address the fact that a trans person's very body doesn't match what their mind expects - they aren't running on the right hormones and have an uncomfortable relationship with parts they don't want and parts they know they should have.
In closing, please be respectful. After you've written your post, check to make sure that you've used the appropriate pronouns. Try to see if you might be implying something you don't mean, and adjust your wording if that's the case. Try not to make posts that put the burden on trans people or their allies to retread old ground. Try not to imply that your original intuited assumptions are more valid than the experience and knowledge of researchers, doctors, and people living with gender dysphoria. If you have any questions that aren't really relevant to the topic, feel welcome to join the trans OT to clear them up.
What does "trans" mean?
"Trans," the "T" in LGBT, is short for transgender, and encompasses a large variety of conditions. The most common usage on GAF is for people who identify as the gender other than the one they were assigned at birth: for example, people who were assigned male at birth but feel female, usually at odds with the physical characteristics they develop. Being trans has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality - trans people can be straight, gay, bi, etc. - just like you. It refers solely to gender identity, or what gender you know yourself to be on the inside. Most people are cisgender, which means that they were fortunate enough to be born with bodies that match their gender identities - when you know you're a guy and you have a masculine body. Cis people usually do not have a strong conscious awareness of being cis, because they aren't faced with a disconnect to bring the concept of gender identity to their attention.
Why would anyone be trans?
Being trans is no more a choice than is being homosexual, and is thought to have similar roots: "Currently, there are numerous scientific explanations of the cause of transsexualism, linking the cause to genetics, brain structure, brain function and prenatal androgen exposure."
How do people know they're trans?
This is potentially hard to understand if you're cis. Trans people suffer gender dysphoria, which is an uncomfortable feeling that your body and mind are at odds with each other. This can manifest itself in several ways. Examples include disgust with body parts that don't align with how trans people see themselves in their mind's eye, intense jealousy upon seeing members of their identified gender, or even surprise during puberty when their body begins to masculinize or feminize when they were expecting the opposite. It can take a long time for trans people to understand what their feelings actually mean and realize that they aren't weird and alone. Cis people don't feel gender dysphoria, but just because you personally can't feel something doesn't mean that the feeling doesn't exist in others. For comparison, imagine the second sense of hunger that addicted smokers feel - nonsmokers don't get that feeling, but smokers definitely know the pull.
Is being trans medically recognized?
Absolutely. Being trans used to be (and until 2013 technically still is) classified as Gender Identity Disorder, but the American Psychiatric Association now recognizes that the problem lies with the body not appropriately lining up with the mind, rather than the opposite. The APA is updating the DSM to reflect its modern stance that being trans is not a mental disorder. (Homosexuality, which also used to be considered a mental illness, was itself completely removed from the DSM in 1986 after progressive improvements.) When the new revision of the DSM is released, it will instead contain Gender Dysphoria. The Veterans Administration provides hormone replacement therapy and counseling to trans veterans, Medicare does the same for seniors, and Medicaid treats low-income trans people. Some states include surgery in their benefits, but most don't yet.
The American Medical Association takes the following position:
Whereas, Our American Medical Association opposes discrimination on the basis of gender identity; and
Whereas, Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is a serious medical condition recognized as such in both the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (4th Ed., Text Revision) (DSM-IV-TR) and the International Classification of Diseases (10th Revision), and is characterized in the DSM-IV-TR as a persistent discomfort with one’s assigned sex and with one’s primary and secondary sex characteristics, which causes intense emotional pain and suffering; and
Whereas, GID, if left untreated, can result in clinically significant psychological distress, dysfunction, debilitating depression and, for some people without access to appropriate medical care and treatment, suicidality and death; and
Whereas, The World Professional Association For Transgender Health, Inc. (“WPATH”
is the leading international, interdisciplinary professional organization devoted to the understanding and treatment of gender identity disorders, and has established internationally accepted Standards of Care for providing medical treatment for people with GID, including mental health care, hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery, which are designed to promote the health and welfare of persons with GID and are recognized within the medical community to be the standard of care for treating people with GID; and
Whereas, An established body of medical research demonstrates the effectiveness and medical necessity of mental health care, hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery as forms of therapeutic treatment for many people diagnosed with GID; and
Whereas, Health experts in GID, including WPATH, have rejected the myth that such treatments are “cosmetic” or “experimental” and have recognized that these treatments can provide safe and effective treatment for a serious health condition; and
Whereas, Physicians treating persons with GID must be able to provide the correct treatment necessary for a patient in order to achieve genuine and lasting comfort with his or her gender, based on the person’s individual needs and medical history; and
Whereas, Our AMA opposes limitations placed on patient care by third-party payers when such care is based upon sound scientific evidence and sound medical opinion; and
Whereas, Many health insurance plans categorically exclude coverage of mental health, medical, and surgical treatments for GID, even though many of these same treatments, such as psychotherapy, hormone therapy, breast augmentation and removal, hysterectomy, oophorectomy, orchiectomy, and salpingectomy, are often covered for other medical conditions; and
Whereas, The denial of these otherwise covered benefits for patients suffering from GID represents discrimination based solely on a patient’s gender identity; and
Whereas, Delaying treatment for GID can cause and/or aggravate additional serious and expensive health problems, such as stress-related physical illnesses, depression, and substance abuse problems, which further endanger patients’ health and strain the health care system; therefore be it
RESOLVED, That our American Medical Association support public and private health insurance coverage for treatment of gender identity disorder (New HOD Policy); and be it further
RESOLVED, That our AMA oppose categorical exclusions of coverage for treatment of gender identity disorder when prescribed by a physician. (Directive to Take Action)
Whereas, Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is a serious medical condition recognized as such in both the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (4th Ed., Text Revision) (DSM-IV-TR) and the International Classification of Diseases (10th Revision), and is characterized in the DSM-IV-TR as a persistent discomfort with one’s assigned sex and with one’s primary and secondary sex characteristics, which causes intense emotional pain and suffering; and
Whereas, GID, if left untreated, can result in clinically significant psychological distress, dysfunction, debilitating depression and, for some people without access to appropriate medical care and treatment, suicidality and death; and
Whereas, The World Professional Association For Transgender Health, Inc. (“WPATH”
is the leading international, interdisciplinary professional organization devoted to the understanding and treatment of gender identity disorders, and has established internationally accepted Standards of Care for providing medical treatment for people with GID, including mental health care, hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery, which are designed to promote the health and welfare of persons with GID and are recognized within the medical community to be the standard of care for treating people with GID; andWhereas, An established body of medical research demonstrates the effectiveness and medical necessity of mental health care, hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery as forms of therapeutic treatment for many people diagnosed with GID; and
Whereas, Health experts in GID, including WPATH, have rejected the myth that such treatments are “cosmetic” or “experimental” and have recognized that these treatments can provide safe and effective treatment for a serious health condition; and
Whereas, Physicians treating persons with GID must be able to provide the correct treatment necessary for a patient in order to achieve genuine and lasting comfort with his or her gender, based on the person’s individual needs and medical history; and
Whereas, Our AMA opposes limitations placed on patient care by third-party payers when such care is based upon sound scientific evidence and sound medical opinion; and
Whereas, Many health insurance plans categorically exclude coverage of mental health, medical, and surgical treatments for GID, even though many of these same treatments, such as psychotherapy, hormone therapy, breast augmentation and removal, hysterectomy, oophorectomy, orchiectomy, and salpingectomy, are often covered for other medical conditions; and
Whereas, The denial of these otherwise covered benefits for patients suffering from GID represents discrimination based solely on a patient’s gender identity; and
Whereas, Delaying treatment for GID can cause and/or aggravate additional serious and expensive health problems, such as stress-related physical illnesses, depression, and substance abuse problems, which further endanger patients’ health and strain the health care system; therefore be it
RESOLVED, That our American Medical Association support public and private health insurance coverage for treatment of gender identity disorder (New HOD Policy); and be it further
RESOLVED, That our AMA oppose categorical exclusions of coverage for treatment of gender identity disorder when prescribed by a physician. (Directive to Take Action)
Pronouns?
You should always use the pronouns of the gender the trans person identifies as or asks you to use. All guidelines for the treatment of trans patients include this. Not all trans people have completed transition, the process by which they transition from their assigned gender to their identified gender. Not all people "pass" as their identified gender right away, and some never have that privilege. However, regardless of your opinion of how masculine or feminine a trans person looks, always use their preferred pronouns. They can't help their situation, and are trying to make the best of it - just like you are with whatever cards you've been dealt. Purposeful misgendering - intentionally using the wrong pronouns - is extremely hurtful. Many trans people feel like they have always been their identified gender and prefer to use their identified pronouns even to refer to their lives before transition. Some trans people are okay with talking about "back when I was the other gender." In general, use their identified gender to refer to them at all points of their life until you see it's okay to do otherwise. A trans person is never an it or a he/she or a (s)he.
Some trans people who haven't started transition, or who are just starting, may still be using the pronouns they were assigned at birth, usually for one of two reasons. First, they may still be getting used to the idea themselves - it can be hard to break a habit you've had your whole life. Second, they may be trying to make it easier for others - they know they don't look like their identified gender yet, or might not yet be trying to present as their identified gender for various reasons, or understand how difficult it can be for people to adjust. In these cases, simply use the pronouns they ask you to (or use for themselves) until they're comfortable transitioning to their new ones.
Correct pronouns are not something a trans person should have to earn from you. They aren't conditional on your opinion of that person, the respect you have for that person, or whether they've been mean or nice to you lately.
Genitals?
In general, nobody's genitals are your business unless you're lucky enough to be invited over to play with them. There's no need to ask or speculate about a trans person's genitals or attempt to use their genitals to challenge their identified gender. You don't do this to anyone you see on the street in day-to-day life, and there's no reason to do it to trans people. They may volunteer information as an indication of how far along they are in transition, or what their plans are, but their genitals, whatever form they happen to take, do not invalidate their gender identity.
"Real" men and women.
Trans men are real men. Trans women are real women. To say otherwise is extremely offensive. This means that a homosexual trans women likes other women. It means that a straight trans man likes women, and it means there's no reason to joke about or question their relationships. Multiple studies have shown that trans women typically have brains more similar to those of cis women than cis men, and trans men typically have brains more similar to those of cis men than cis women. Their bodies may be anywhere on the spectrum, depending on where they are in transition, but when you're talking to a trans woman there's a woman behind the keyboard and when you're talking to a trans man there's a man behind the keyboard.
This does lead to semantic constructions and ideas that you might not be used to. For example, women can have penises. Men can have vaginas. You might read "his breasts" in a sentence about a trans man's top surgery. Please be respectful, and try to avoid any mean-spirited jokes.
Treatments for trans people.
Many trans people undergo traditional psychological therapy with a gender therapist. In the past, and still in some places today, trans people have trouble procuring further care without a letter certifying their condition. The WPATH (World Professional Association For Transgender Health) Standards of Care are moving more to an informed consent model where this step isn't always necessary. Many trans people also undergo Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT. This means that trans women take testosterone-blockers and estrogen (and sometimes other hormones like progesterone), and trans men take testosterone. HRT completely swaps a trans person's endocrine system, and trans people undergo something of a second puberty. Trans women develop breasts, softer skin, feminine pattern and texture body hair, muscle loss, and feminine fat distribution. Trans men develop deeper voices, facial hair, masculine pattern and texture body hair, muscle mass, and coarser skin. Many trans women undergo laser hair removal or electrolysis.
Some (but not all) trans people undergo surgeries: breast removal for trans men, facial feminization surgery for trans women, bottom surgery for both - a constructed vagina for trans women and a constructed penis for trans men. Depending on the surgeon and outcome, trans women's vaginas can be indistinguishable from cis women's vaginas for all practical purposes. Trans men's bottom surgeries aren't necessarily as advanced, but are developing rapidly. All of these treatments are medically indicated for gender dysphoria, and are not cosmetic procedures. Acceptable terms for bottom surgery are bottom surgery, gender reassignment surgery (GRS), sex reassignment surgery (SRS) and gender confirmation surgery. "Sex change" is outdated, implies a simple switch, and encourages misunderstanding of both identity and process. Most surgeons require letters from multiple therapists, years of HRT, and years of living as the identified gender before performing the operation.
This is a lot of reading! Can I watch some Youtube videos now?
You sure can! Here's a mini TED talk given by a trans man at UBC. (11:16) And here is a lecture from a Stanford class. The whole thing is pretty good, but this link will take you to the last fifteen minutes in which he discusses trans people. (1:41:43)
Posts you shouldn't make and why you shouldn't make them.
Post: "I will always see a trans woman as a man."
Why: Science and medicine disagree with you, as does common courtesy. You've probably seen at least one trans person and never noticed, naturally reading them as their identified and presented gender.
Post: "If the person has a penis, the person is a man. If the person has a vagina, the person is a woman."
Why: Science and medicine disagree with you, as does common courtesy. Furthermore, you open yourself up to all sorts of other circumstances, such as men who've lost their penises in accidents or certain intersex people. It's much simpler to take people at their gender expression and/or their word.
Post: "But chromosomes."
Why: You've never seen a karyotype test in your life, and, just like genitals, you'd never ask someone on the street to show you them. Everyone you meet you judge on easily visible characteristics, and it's absurd to try to go above and beyond your normal effort just to demean trans people. Besides, a not insignificant portion of the population have chromosomal abnormalities, and would be surprised to learn that their chromosomes might not line up with the rest of their lives. Like above, it's much easier simply to trust that people know who they are better than you do.
Also, fun science interlude: Everyone's genetic structure contains both sets of instructions--the program to grow male characteristics in response to testosterone as well as the program to grow female characteristics in response to estrogen. In short, there aren't intrinsically distinct "male" and "female" bodies, only bodies with different endocrine histories.
Post: "They're not their identified gender until after bottom surgery."
Why: Science and medicine disagree with you, as does common courtesy. Remember, you have no business snooping around in other people's pants in the first place. Furthermore, plenty of cis men and women have complications with their genitals, from birth defects to accidents, so it's once again fairly useless to draw such a line in the sand.
Post: "I, a manly cis man, wouldn't sleep with a trans woman because I'm too straight."
Why: First, nobody asked you. Second, you're implying that a trans woman isn't a woman by invoking your sexual orientation to explain your feelings. It's fine not to want to sleep with someone, but please try to remember that this isn't about their gender or your orientation, it's about your expectations of womens' bodies.
Post: "Trans people have their beliefs and opinions, and I have mine."
Why: We aren't talking about beliefs and opinions. We're talking about medically-recognized problems that real people are going through. We're talking about scientific and medical consensus that trans people are who they say they are and feel what they say they feel. If you disagree, you disagree with established conclusions put together by teams of doctors and researchers more educated, experienced, and relevant than you and you should keep your view to yourself.
Post: "This thread will be a graveyard!" and "LOL, not touching this. Better to back away!" and "Gonna keep my mouth shut!"
Why: Posts like these, especially at the top of the first page, can set the tone for the thread. The first introduces expectations that people will say stupid things and normalizes that behavior by making it seem inevitable. The second comes across as dissatisfaction with GAF's policies regarding respect for trans people. The third can imply that you want to say something mean, and know you shouldn't, but still want to make sure other people know you had something mean to say. On top of all that, they don't contribute anything anyway.
Post: "I don't understand why they care about gender so much. It's not a big deal to me. Can't they just be happy as who they are? If I suddenly had other genitals, I think I could just roll with it."
Why: In all likelihood, they don't naturally care about gender much more than you do, but they are forced to deal with it in a way that you aren't. Cisgender people have the privilege of being able to ignore gender dysphoria and its ramifications. The trans person is trying to be happy with who they are by addressing their dysphoria. Thinking that you could simply shrug off gender dysphoria is like thinking that you could just choose to be happy to cure yourself of clinical depression.
Post: "Gender must just be a societal construction. If society were okay with crossdressing, they wouldn't have to do any of this, right? So isn't this an external problem? "
Why: While society certainly does need to improve its acceptance and understanding of trans people, one step on the road to that ideal is realizing that gender identity and gender dysphoria exist in their own space and that people's core conceptions of themselves can be entirely independent from external factors. Simply wearing a dress or getting a buzzcut doesn't address the fact that a trans person's very body doesn't match what their mind expects - they aren't running on the right hormones and have an uncomfortable relationship with parts they don't want and parts they know they should have.
In closing, please be respectful. After you've written your post, check to make sure that you've used the appropriate pronouns. Try to see if you might be implying something you don't mean, and adjust your wording if that's the case. Try not to make posts that put the burden on trans people or their allies to retread old ground. Try not to imply that your original intuited assumptions are more valid than the experience and knowledge of researchers, doctors, and people living with gender dysphoria. If you have any questions that aren't really relevant to the topic, feel welcome to join the trans OT to clear them up.
