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Vintage Christian Sex Instructions

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http://www.boingboing.net/2004/10/14/vintage_christian_se.html

Dad lights up his pipe and starts talking about nocturnal emissions.

DAD: One of these nights before too long you may find some of it (semen) passes off in your sleep . . .

BOB: (worriedly) But Dad, that's wrong, isn't it?

DAD: No, son, it's not wrong . . . No, it's true that to waste the seed deliberately - to do anything knowingly to make it come is a very grave sin. Because God designed that secretion in a man for one purpose. That is to be, well, like one of his raw materials in the creation of a new life . . . Wet dreams are different. Sometimes the supply of semen becomes too great before a man is married and these dreams are sort of a safety valve . . .

BOB: But Dad, why do fellas get these feelings before they get married?

Dad responds with a metaphor popular in the softcore films of Zalmon King. That is to say that God made sex as necessary as food for survival. Dad adds that sometimes this procreative desire inconveniently appears before the wedding vows are taken and the bloodtests are registered with the county seat.
 

RedDwarf

Smegging smeg of a smeg!
I have these recordings in .mp3 if anyone wants 'em.

EDIT: Nevermind, didn't see the bottom of the page. :(
 
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